Nicknames: Mailboxhead, Backwoods Retard
E-Mail: [email protected]
Birthdate: October 18, 1981...send presents!
Astrological Sign: Libra...I can't make decisions...and...that's about it.
Siblings: I have a little brother named Matthew, but I prefer to call him Ferengi Head.
Pet: Molly...she's much like my old friends, cute but with few brains.
When she shakes her head it sounds like a spray-paint can
Favorite Color: Puce. I just like saying it. PUCE PUCE PUCE!!!.
Favorite Shoes: ETNIES. I'd make out with them if I could. I can!?!? OH MY GOD.
Favorite Cartoon Character: GIR from Invader Zim
Chevy or Ford?: Ford. Because I love my Focus. Nothing will tear us apart. NOTHING! NOTHING I TELL YOU! Oh wait. Yeah. Except my lack of money, parents, my brother having mone, and him buying th ecar off my parents. Oops.
Oranges or Apples? Apples, oranges are way too much fucking work. You sit there for about half an hour trying to get the damn peel off, and by the time you've unpeeled the bugger you don't even want it anymore. SCREW YOU ORANGE.
Tall or Short?: Short people can see up tall people's noses. And I'm all about that.
What's Your Bedtime?: Hm, I don't like sleeping. I feel like I'm wasting good PRODUCTIVE HOURS that could be spend doing something hugely IMPORTANT...like playing video games or working on a webpage no one sees.
Favorite Holiday: Halloween!! There's CANDY! Remember the Garfield Halloween Special? I do...Garfield ran around going "candy candy candy candy candy" and then some pirate ghosts came and took his candy.
Favorite Book: "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand
Favorite Candy: Sour Skittles...a little slice of orgasm.
Favorite Day of the Week: Some like Hump Day, but I prefer Post Hump Day. One gets SO much more satisfaction from humping a post.
Favorite Quote: "You're just a 6-piece chicken MCNOTHING!"--Space Ghost
Do You Like to Dance?: Uh...I look like an octopus when I dance...a lot of flailing and possible injury to others around me...so NO.
Love or Lust?: Love hurts...lust...well lust doesn't hurt unless you're lusting with someone who is not a very good luster. In which case I would then choose love.
Mountains or Praries?: Llamas live in the Andes Mountains.
Your Best Friend is Who and Why: Eric, because he likes Harry Potter. And is hairy.
Favorite Movie: "Memento"...nothing beats Guy Pearce's ass.
Worst Feeling in the World: The way you feel after your best friend treats you like shit and then goes and jet skis. God that feeling totally RULES.
Best Feeling in the World: Um....yeah...Sour Skittles?
Future Son's Name: Sherlock. After Sherlock Holmes who is THE MAN. What? Oh no, he won't get made fun of. EVERYONE WANTS TO BE SHERLOCK HOLMES. RIGHT?? RIGHT??
What is Under Your Bed?: Aliens. Who I play FREEZE TAG with EVERY NIGHT. YEEEHAW!!!
If You Could Visit One Place Anywhere, Where Would It Be?: Madagascar, 'cause that's where LEMURS live.
Have You Ever Gone Out In Public in Your Pajamas: Yeah...I went to NMU...a school where no one really gets dressed...or showers...or should I say, used the showers for SHOWERING.
Have You Ever Been On Stage: Yeah, but I have no coordination and no singing ability so I was always an extra. Except for one speaking part I had which I can't remember but had something to do with elephants, peanuts and flying.
Lace or Satin?: Satin. Lace is all....lacey...and stuff.
Have you Had an Imaginary Friend?: Had? HAD?? Oh my God, did he leave again? Damn, hold on, I gotta get the bugger, he's got this thing with Bingo night at the senior center. I told him to stay away from there but he's addicted to fucking BINGO.
Do you Believe in the Closet Monster?: I did before he started going out with this emo girl, and so then he started acting all emo, and like, I was like, DUDE STOP ACTING EMO, and he got mad and stomped off and listened to some Dashboard. My closet space is currently for rent.
If You Could Change Something About Yourself, What Would it Be?: I'd be born a lemur or a llama. A RICH lemur or llama.