The
Story Of Jon Ricker
I first met Jon Ricker my Freshman year of college. He lived across the hall from me. He is from Buffalo and was majoring in Biology. It did not take me long to find that Ricker was a very “special” individual. Ricker quickly acquired the name Dolphin Boy due to his love of the Miami Dolphins. I think that Greg or I gave him that name. Kline used to call him Marino, but DB seemed to become his new name. Ricker seemed to be the recipient of much of the harassing that went on Freshman year. I remember that Kline and the other Freakin Circus people used to call his room at all hours of the night and make animal noises. The sad thing is that Ricker would never disconnect the phone since he thought that his Mom would call. At least that’s what he told me.
Ricker also has some other unique qualities. It seems that he is bad at most video games. Not just bad, but terrible. There were a few games he was ok in, but not that many. He lost to Glass Joe in Punch Out. That is really bad. It was always fun to play Ricker in football because I would crush him. I don’t think I ever lost a game to him. I usually won by 30 points or so. Ricker also has this problem with telling the truth. He would make up stories or just embellish them a bit. He used to tell us he could slam dunk a basketball, but would never go up to show us. Eventually he came clean and said he could only dunk by grabbing the net and pulling himself up. What a surprise.
Ricker also seemed to have trouble with his roommates. His first roommate left about halfway through the first semester and moved downstairs. All I can remember about that was that his name was Dom and I think he pissed all over his or Ricker’s bed before he left. Now that’s funny. Ricker’s second year he roomed with some kid from England named Josiah. I remember that Josiah used to smoke cigars in Ricker’s room and it would stink everything up and piss him off. That was pretty funny too. Junior year he roomed with Brandon and Yoder. Senior year he roomed down the hall from me with Rob Mangerie. Rob and I had some classic Nintendo battles in Dr. Mario.
Ricker also would have many practical jokes played on him by Me and the Goats also. One year for Halloween; Brandon, Yoder, and I went down to Ricker’s security shack and posted a night saying “Do You Want To Die Tonight Dolphin Boy?” It was quite fun running through a field at 3 in the morning wearing a Scream Mask. We also scared some people on the path. Hehe. Then that same night we went and toilet papered all of Ricker’s room. We did everything. His bed, his clothes, his printer, the ceiling. It was the greatest thing ever. I’ll have to see if I can find the picture and post it. Then the next year when he lived next to us, it was even worse. I Used to take his mattress all the time. The first time I hid it under Rob’s mattress. The second time I took it to my room. He went all over campus looking for it. He went out to the IM fields and even checked to see it was on the top of his car.
Later in the year, I got some plastic wrap and went to town in Ricker’s room. We wrapped up his bed, his pillow, his clothes, and even his furby. Ricker was not amused. Then another time we took all or his pants and hid them behind his dresser. One of the best things was when they were voting for Spring King. Tim and I went down to look at the list of names because they had everyone who was a Senior listed. Tim took a highlighter and highlighted Ricker’s name and then wrote Dolphin Boy next to it. It was so funny. It was the last day though so I doubt anyone ever saw it.
Anything thing that Ricker had that I’ve rarely seen is what I call the Ricker Factor. This is a genetic trait that causes bad things to happen all the time in his life. In Ricker’s case this is normally him getting hit in the crotch or injured in some sport. Ricker had many, many blows to the crotch. I’ve seen him take a volleyball to the crotch. I’ve also seen him kick himself in the crotch playing hack and get kneed in the crotch. He’s also spilled hot soup on his crotch, got clotheslined while playing basketball, and bashed his head off of a metal box. Then he got spiked in the face by Rob with a basketball. It broke his glasses and cut his face. That would have been funny to see. They had only been down there for like 1 minute too when this happened.
Another great thing about Ricker was the Ricker mail. Greg and I would come over ever day just to watch him get his mail. It was so funny seeing his mailbox stuffed with junk that we had sent him. The best was when he had to go sign for the stuff and the name would be something like Trouser Flounder. It was too funny. The mail lady used to talk to him and ask him where the mail was coming from and he would say he didn’t know. I must admit that he was really a good sport about this. One time instead of mail, I got some girl on the internet to send Ricker a fake love letter. It was from Texas and he thought it was real. He was going to go ask some girl at the college if it was from her. I then told him about it and he got really pissed off. I put the letter in the back of the Ricker Scrapbook. It was great.
Ricker now is At LECOM which is a medical school in Erie. He has come down a couple of times to bowl with us on Saturday nights. One time he was staying at my house and on the way there got a warning for running a red light. The Ricker Factor strikes again. I have been up once to see Ricker on a Sunday. I took Greg and Heather with me. It was a fun trip. Ricker was in rare form at that time though. He told so many questionable things that it amazed me. I wrote them all down so everyone can see. Who knows what the future holds for Ricker. He is going into the Army after this since they are paying for his education. I imagine that he will somehow get stuck in there for the rest of his life. You never know with Ricker.
Back To Ricker’s Believe It Or Not.