Ricker’s
Believe It Or Not
For
those of you who don’t know me or my friends, this page may not make much
sense. This page is about some of
the things one of friends, Jon Ricker, told us on a recent trip to Erie.
I went to college with Ricker and was friends with him for 4 years.
He’s a really nice guy, but he seems to occasionally have this aversion
with telling the truth or making up weird things that make no sense. Here is a list of things that he told us while we were in
Erie visiting him on Sunday, May 13th. The
validity of these “facts” is unknown.
Some of them may very well be true; you can judge for yourself.
He
bowled a 257. Of course, he said
this after I mentioned that the previous night I had bowled a 233.
I have a printout of my score though.
This is a common occurrence with Ricker. He always says he bowls better or the same that anyone else
does. It should be noted that in 4
years of bowling at GCC I never once saw him bowl a 200, but he is in a league
at home.
He
had “more money then he knows what to do with.”
He has only 6 tv stations with no cable.
When we mentioned this fact, Ricker said that cable cost too much.
Sounds funny for someone with so much money.
He is also going to medical school which does cost quite a bit, but I
think the Air Force is paying for it. I’m
assuming he gets this money from the Air Force since he doesn’t have a job. Who knows.
He
said that an Apache Helicopter landed next door to his school at the Lord
Chemical Corporation. He said that
a whole bunch of FBI agents in black suits and sunglasses got out and went into
the building. I don’t know what
they were supposedly doing there and neither does Ricker.
In
a conversation about getting tattoos we told Ricker that he should get one
somewhere. He told us that he was
not allowed to get any because the Air Force "owns his body" for the
next 4 years. I don’t know, but
I’ve seen lots of Army people with tattoos.
I wonder if the Air Force inspects his body every couple days or
something to search for things.
When
we went to the Beach at Erie, Ricker told us not to go to beaches one, two, or
three. Apparently, they are
“homosexual” beaches. I don’t
know how he knows this, and I don’t want to know.
I also don’t understand why there are 3 gay beaches.
Are there really that many gay people in Erie?
Ricker
mentioned something about having an affair with a 28 year old while dating a 19
year old. I think he was talking
about this in the pet store. I
don’t know what he said exactly because I was too busy watching the fish,
snakes, and birds. Heather heard
him talking about this. He is
dating a 28 year old nurse though. We
never did see her.
When
driving past a beer sign, Ricker started talking about some place that has 50
cent beer on a certain night of the week. He
then told us that he went once and drank 6 beers and it had no effect on him.
Of course, he doesn’t drink beer and therefore would have no tolerance
for it. Six beers would probably
put me out; but hey, that’s just me. I’m
no Ricker.
Ricker
was complaining about his landlord wanting him and his roommates to re-paint the
apartment. I thought that was kind
of excessive myself until I saw that there were shoe marks about 5-6 feet up on
the walls. Ricker described that as
“Normal wear and tear” I would
like to know how the hell he got those marks up there.
There were also many other marks and smudges all over the walls which
they didn’t feel like cleaning up.
Ricker
again told us a story about his Ricker mail.
He said that over one summer the mail lady from GCC called him at home
and asked him if he wanted all his mail. He
said it would have cost $150 to send all the mail to his house. Instead of having Greg or me go pick it up, he told her to
get rid of it. When I asked him
about this, he said she needed to know “right then” and couldn’t have
saved the mail. Of course, $150
worth of mail would probably be like 100 pounds, but hey, whatever you say.
Ricker
claims that he already has gray hair. I
can see this due to many blunt force blows to the crotch.
I’m not sure if that causes gray hair though. Heather says she did see some in his facial hair, so this may
be true.
Ricker
says that there are 30 people in his bowling club for LECOM where he will be the
president. He also says that there
are only 300 people in the entire school. This
means that 10% of his college is on the bowling team.
That is a very, very high number. I
don’t know about this.
He
took $20 to a casino in Canada and came back with $400.
This is not the first time I’ve heard this story, but it makes me roll
my eyes every time. It is entirely
possible that this did happen, but knowing Ricker, I doubt it.
Ricker has what I like to call "The Ricker Factor."
This causes terrible things to go wrong in his life.
Greg has it too but it’s called "The Mercer Factor."
So knowing this I would suspect that he had $400 and came back with $20,
but once again there is no proof.
On
our “tour” of Erie we passed by Waldameer Water park.
Ricker then told us that he would never go there.
He tried to tell us horror stories about what one little kid could do to
the entire park. He said that one
piece of crap could contaminate 10 thousand gallons of water.
Personally, I’ve never seen anyone crap in a pool, and I do believe
they have chlorine to kill that stuff. Maybe
Ricker has more experience in these matters.
I think he has been banned from Waldameer for a similar offense to this.
Ricker
is moving to a new apartment by himself next year.
He told us that Jason Kline, who graduated GCC with us, wanted the
apartment but was put on the waiting list for it.
Meanwhile, Ricker called them up and told them he was from LECOM, and
they gave him the apartment right away. He
said Kline was pissed off about this. In reality, Kline didn’t want the apartment because that is
where the drug dealers hang out. I
hope Ricker doesn’t get busted in a drug raid or anything like that.
He
also told us how our tax money pays for his equipment like a stethoscope, lab
coat, and such. If that’s true
then when I’m sick, I want to have free medical treatment with the equipment
and from the doctors that my tax money paid for.
It’s only fair in my opinion.
As
Ricker is on his way to being a doctor, he told us that while visiting a
hospital he was paged as Dr. Ricker. When
I asked him why he was paged he said because "they needed him." I would personally think they paged someone else and he heard
wrong. But, I could be mistaken.
As
part of his military training, he now says he runs 3 miles a day.
I’ve never seen him run for any reason, and I don’t know if this is
true or not. I suppose it could be.
I don’t know where he finds the time in between 8 hours of class and a
girlfriend. Maybe he runs at night.
He only sleeps 4 hours a night you know...
For
some reason Ricker also told us that he is getting a license for a concealed
gun. It will only be good in New
York though so he can’t bring it to Pennsylvania with him.
He told us he’s almost done with his courses for it.
I have no idea why he would need to have a gun with him.
I guess he does live in the “hood” in Buffalo.
I think he would be more likely to shoot himself in the crotch then to
ever shoot anyone else. Either that
or he’ll shoot a innocent old lady or something.
I don’t know what to think about this.
I wonder if the gun will be shaped like a Dolphin.
I’m sure he’ll put the Dolphins colors on it or something.
I bet it’ll get stolen and used in a robbery and he’ll end up in
jail. If this is true, these are
all good possibilities.
Well, that’s it from the trip to Erie. I’ll add more stuff that he said in school when I’m justly motivated. This just goes to show you that you shouldn’t believe everything your hear, especially from Ricker.