Predictions for the year 2020
1. Super intelligent lobsters will overthrow the humans and take control of China.
2. A new sports craze will sweep the U.S. - Yo-Yos.
3. New York City will sink into the ocean.
4. Strom Thurman’s dead body will win re-election to the Senate.
5. America will elect its first black president - Al Roker.
6. The New York Yankees will win their 21st straight World Series.
7. The first successful human clone will be born, but the project will quickly be stopped after it is learned that the clone is of Pauly Shore.
8. The most successful band in the world will be made up entirely of the illegitimate children of *NSync and the Backstreet Boys.
9. The United States will wage war on Canada after they steal the Stanley Cup and refuse to give it back.
10. WWIII starts when Zimbabwe declares war on Indonesia. No one cares and the war lasts 37 minutes.
11. Los Angeles burns to the ground after the toxic fumes become too dense and someone lights a cigarette.
12. The highest rated television Show is Survivor : The Red Planet. The show is set on Mars and when someone is voted off, they are set adrift in space.
13. Due to excessive alcohol consumption, the average age for Russians drops to 12.7 years.
14. In an effort to boost sales, cereal companies begin putting porn in the bottom of cereal boxes.
15. The Kentucky Derby is moved to Idaho and renamed the Potato Derby.
16. The Crocodile Hunter is eaten by a crocodile on live tv.
17. The saltwater in the ocean is replace by sugar water because it “tastes better.”
18. Puerto Rico becomes the fifty first state but is relegated back to a territory when people realize how stupid the flag looks with 51 stars.
19. The moon falls out of orbit and lands in France. Millions of Americans laugh their asses off.
20. In an effort to have more hours in the day, the United States adds 2 more hours to the day.
21. Cars will run on uranium instead of gasoline
22. The internet will split into two different types. One will be for normal people and the other one will be entirely devoted to porn.
23. New Jersey will be declared a toxic waste dump and all residents will have to leave.
24. The Pope will fight the Dahlia Llama in a 10 round heavyweight bought on pay per view.
25. Jon Ricker will still be in the Air Force and will still be lying all the time.