Yesterday, Greg and I attended our second concert of the year, Ozzfest. Since we saw and experienced a bunch of crazy things, I figured I’d write something about it so that everyone can enjoy what we went through.
The first thing that happened to us was the parking lot
there. You’d think for 12 bucks parking
would be quick and easy. Wrong. It took us about 20 minutes or more just to
get through the parking space and into a parking spot. I don’t know I wasn’t quite sure why that
was, but there’s nothing we could about it. On the way in, we noticed a number
of show your tits signs, which may have prompted the show your cock shirt some
girl had on later, as well as a number of drunk people. I was quite impressed since this was only
like
After a while, I had to go to the bathroom, so I left the hill. I didn’t notice the row of port-a-potties so I walked down to the main area bathroom. Right after I went in, I was followed by some guy and his girlfriend. All they guys in the bathroom were quite impressed when the girl came in. A couple asked if that was a girl. When they found out it was, they asked her to show her breasts. She didn’t, but she did end up going into the stall next to me. She then started complaining about how much the bathroom stunk and various other things. When I came out, some guy was standing there, and he was all happy because there was a girl inside and couldn’t wait to tell me. I just ignored him and left. After walking back to the hill, I sat through a number of bands. As I am wont to do, I didn’t really pay attention to them. I enjoy watching the people more. I saw the greatest shirt of all time at this concert. It said “I Fuck Sheep.” I laughed for so long over that one. I also saw a number of funny/interesting people. I saw a girl who had nothing on except for a very thin piece of cloth over her nipples. She had her stomach painted like a butterfly, and the cloth combined with it. It was pretty damn cool. This is also where we saw the first people of the day using weed. That was quite prevalent during the night. We finally got to the last band on the second stage, Cradle Of Filth. They were super weird. They had an opera singer, and the main singer would also just randomly make noises and say stuff that made no sense. They also had some girl who was dancing on stage but just kept doing one dance move. During their last song, they also sprayed some kind of orange/red stuff into the crowd. It was definitely a weird show.
Finally we make it to the other hill, where we can see the main stage. The first thing we notice are a number of passed out guys on the ground. There were at least 3 at the start of the main stage concerts. The best one was a guy who was down the hill to our right. He was out of it. His friend kept trying to wake him up at various times, and it would do nothing. He would shake him, and hit his face, but he just kept sleeping. Eventually, someone but a condom(in wrapper), on his head. He did wake up after that, and picked up the condom. He looked at it, looked around for a while, and went right back to sleep. He did wake up before Korn was on, so he only missed every band but the last two. A number of fun things happened on this hill. First off, they gave out free condoms to anyone that wanted one. This caused many people to make condom balloons. I hit one myself and then one hit me in the head. Greg kicked a couple of them, and kicked one right into some guy. The best part was the condom girl. Some girl came around giving out condoms to people. She gave them to the people right next to us, then skipped Greg and I, and then gave them to some girls on the other side of us. It was classic. It was like she knew there was no reason to give them to us, they’d just go to waste. Greg and I were laughing after this. She came along again later, and again skipped both of us. Another time, some guy came up to me and attempted to sell me hash. I couldn’t understand what he was saying. All I heard were the words hash and bro. He quickly moved on though. Also while Korn was on, some stoned girl sat down next to me. She was so out of it. She kept going whoo and raising her hand at random times. Some guy eventually tried to talk to her. I think he wanted to take advantage of her, but she left by herself right after this. Also, an annoyance I noticed during this was people throwing stuff. People were throwing beer, pop, and even nacho cheese up in the air onto the crowd below them. Greg and I ended up with some water on us. Good thing it wasn’t beer, I would have been super pissed.
After all the other bands were done, we were down to just Ozzy. Before Ozzy was on, I noticed a lot of cheering coming from one section of the crowd. I looked over and saw a girl up on some guy’s shoulders. They were walking across the hill to the center. Along the way, she would keep flashing the crowd. Needless to say, I cheered quite a lot for this. Not to be left out, she was quickly followed by a bunch of other girls. About 3-4 suddenly popped up to our right and were flashing everyone. Then a girl to our left also started to flash. But the best thing was these two girls in the center in front of us. They both flashed and then started making out. I was going crazy for this. They ended up doing it twice. I think that was the best thing I’ve seen in a while. Finally it’s time for Ozzy. As soon as Ozzy comes on, I noticed that people were setting off fires. Then the staff would come running down the hill and put them off. A fire would then start somewhere else. Greg was saying “Watch, as soon as they leave, they’ll start it up again.” Sure enough, the fire started up 2 more times before they got an actual fire extinguisher and used it. After all this fun, it’s back to Ozzy. He was good, but the best part was when his guitar player went crazy. At the end of a song, he just kept going on and on. First he played the guitar on his head and then he started playing it with his teeth. It was crazy. After this, he played Eruption by Van Halen and then Hendrix. It was great.
When Ozzy says that it’s his last song, Greg and I leave. We attempted to beat the crowd. We get to our car, which is in the farthest possibly lot, O. We then pull into line, and now begins the hell that is leaving the parking lot. At X-fest, it took us an hour to get out. This time we were going to break that record easily. We sat in the same spot for at least 40 minutes before they came down and started directing traffic. I was even refusing to let people pull in front of me, and still we were not going anywhere. While waiting, we decided to try and play with the stuff in the car. We first found a large bouncy bar and started bouncing it around until we figured it might set off the airbags, so we stopped fooling with it. Then we found some bubbles and starting blowing them outside. I had to stop that when I heard somebody yelling at me. He yelled “Hey Bubble Boy.” Then he said some other stuff which I couldn’t hear but figured it was bad, so I stopped. After leaving, we got back on route 18 and we behind two drunk people. The person in front of me kept going onto the other side of the road. It’s a good thing that they only lived a little ways down the road. All in all though, it was a lot of fun. Greg and I were both sunburned and super dehydrated. I’m not paying 4.50 for a pop. I’d rather go without. I’d say that I enjoyed Korn and Disturbed the best. Well, that’s it.