Your accomplice

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The Officer says, "Clocked you
at 80 mph. sir." The driver says, "Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control
at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating."

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly, "Now don't be silly
dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control."

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and
growls, "Can't you keep your mouth closed for once?"

The wife smiles demurely and says, "You should be thankful your radar
detector went off when it did."

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector
unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Dang-it
woman, can't you keep your mouth closed."

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your
seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."

The driver says, "Yeah, well you see officer, I had it on, but took it off
when you pulled me over  so that I could get my license out of my back
pocket."

The wife says," Now dear you know very well that you didn't have your seat
belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns
to his wife and barks, "WHY DON'T YOU SHUT THE HECK UP??"

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk
to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Oh heavens no, officer. Only when he's been drinking."

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