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Oleh : Nizam Mohd Nor
Are
you straight? Are you curious? What is like to be gay?
If
you are reading this as a heterosexual person, then I would firstly like to
thank you for taking the time to try and understand.
Often, the first thing straight people think of when they think of somebody
being gay is that this person has sex with males. The methods of gay sex are
often seen as repulsive or perverted. What is often overlooked is that gay
people often think this about �straight� sex.
Obviously,
being gay means that you are attracted both physically and mentally to persons
of the same sex. This concept can often be quite difficult for straight people
to comprehend. I think the easiest way to imagine what this is like is to simply
think about the way you feel when you find somebody of the opposite sex
attractive. It�s EXACTLY the same when you�re gay. When you are in a gay
relationship, the fact that your partner is of the same sex is completely
irrelevant, and you don�t even think of that at all. It just feels completely
natural.
Even in today�s more liberal world, there
sometimes seems to be a general animosity between gay and straight people. I�m
not trying to say that this is all homophobia, because there are many gay people
who don�t really trust straight people. These attitudes need to change in
order for our society to fit together completely.
It must also be accepted that gay and straight people live in the SAME society.
Sometimes, straight people seem to think that there is a �secret gay
society� where gay people operate separately. It is true that there are gay
pubs and clubs and sport centres, but there are no gay supermarkets, gay work
places or gay buses and trains. There are gay people throughout every layer and
class of our society, and they are a regular and important part of it.
Being
gay can have varying effects on your life, depending on how you see yourself. I
sometimes forget that I am different to straight people in any way, and being
gay is not an issue in my life. This is because I see myself as the same as
anybody else, because I AM a normal person, even if I have a boyfriend. I have
accepted my sexuality as much as is possible and am happy the way I am.
For some gay people, this is not the case. The fact that they are gay makes them
feel different to other people, and may result in them being shy or reserved.
Some people are frightened of the reactions of other people if they find out.
Leading such a life can be very distressing.
Regardless
of how happy you are with your sexuality, there are some things that gay people
simply can�t do. Although adopting children IS legal in the UK for gay people,
there is very little chance of this being feasible. Even if you manage to adopt,
the views and biases of society can make this a disaster for both the adults and
the child.
Even holding hands or kissing in public can be difficult. It is only really
possible if you don�t give a damn about what everybody else thinks. Despite
loving my man to bits and cuddling openly at home, in the street we become two
male friends, not even holding hands. It�s not just that people stare, mutter
and throw all kinds of looks, but also there is the safety aspect of it.
Finally
in this section I would like to point out, that the only approval anybody really
needs in this life is the approval of themselves. If you are happy the way that
you are, then that�s ok, as long as you don�t judge other people for being
the way they want to be.
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