| ===The Battle For Midland=== | ||||||||
| U.S. Historians believe that the Battle for Midland in National City, California, will be the largest battle in American History since we nuked the Japs | ||||||||
| Sometimes in history, there are measures taken to establish change. Yet, National City has been, continues to be, and will forever possess the qualities of a utopian empire. But there are those that wish to change the system - there are those who are dissatisfied with the Mayor. These assailants have been identified as the Snake Gang, a mailicous party that have been set out to take control (and forever change) the Midland area of National City. |
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| Analysts are predicting huge losses on both fronts. As NCPD Commander James Higgins explains, "We, the police, have been useless in our effort to contain the Snake Gang. Our only hope lies in the hands of the Circle Jerk Mafia. If the Snake Gang takes over National City, then the greatest Empire known to man will have fallen." |
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| Artist Rendition | ||||||||
| Optimists conclude that this confrontation will last at least 4 years, and the CJ Mafia will reign supreme. However, no extenuating circumstances have been calculated (and this bar graph may/may not be extremely biased), making this graph utterly, utterly useless. | ||||||||