Disclaimer: The characters used are the property of Paramount and no copyright infringement is
intended in their use.

                    The Diary of Jake Sisko
                       by Gail M. Eppers

     When they materialized, the wind nearly knocked them over.  And if the wind wasn't bad
enough, it was frigidly cold, and the wind blew snow and ice crystals all around them.   It made
it difficult to see, but then there was nothing to see.  They  held their tricorders close to their
faces in order to see the readings, the fake fur overcoats and thick, oversized hoods making
every movement difficult.  "Where's that life sign?"  Dax shouted over the wind.  
     "I don't know.  I've lost it now."  Bashir turned a little back and forth, trying to find it
again.  
     "I'm reading the runabout."  Dax pointed ahead of them.  "Ten meters ahead, but it's
already under eight feet of snow.  No life signs at all."  
     "They can't be there,"  Bashir told her.   "They must have found shelter or we wouldn't
have gotten any life signs.  Look for a cave."
     They began walking, slowly, lifting each leg high to clear the drifting snow.   "It can't be
far."  Bashir shouted as he watched his tricorder.  He turned a little to the left.  "Got it! 
Seventeen point three meters this way!"  They stayed close together, as much for warmth as to
avoid getting separated.  
     "I'm reading a cave, but I can't see an entrance," Dax said, looking up and squinting
through the storm.  
     "Don't use your eyes, Jadzia!"  Bashir said.  He sincerely hoped this mission didn't take
much longer.  He was already feeling frozen.  If they didn't find them soon, they'd have to leave
before they froze to death.  How could they have survived six days on this frozen wasteland?  he
wondered.  But there was the life sign, weak though it was.  It was hard to tell if it was weak
because of the storm, or for other reasons.  
     It seemed he'd been walking for miles, but he'd only gone twelve meters when he heard
Dax shout, "Over here!"  He followed the back of her jacket, unable to see anything else but the
unending whiteness.  Suddenly, the sound and force of the wind lessened.  He straightened from
the hunched position he'd assumed to fight the wind.  
     They had found a cave.  It appeared rather large, stretching out into rooms, and branching
off into tunnels of ice covered stone.   But it was only marginally warmer.  He took several steps
in, only to find that the temperature remained thirty degrees below zero celsius.   The tricorder
led him around a bend in the cave, where they found someone, well wrapped in blankets, lying
on a stone slab.  Bashir hurried over, pulling out the hand held scanner.  "It's Jake.  He's in severe
hypothermia.  Core temperature sixty degrees fahrenheit.  Damn."  
     Dax looked around.  "Where's Lieutenant Barry?"  She wondered aloud.  Six phasers lay
discarded in a pile on the floor.  Dax bent to examine them, but found they were all completely
drained.  She stuffed them inside her coat.  A pile of stones also lay near the bed, and simple
survival gear he must have salvaged from the runabout.  
     "Dax."  Bashir had partially unwrapped Jake, in order to inject him with a stimulant. 
Jake clutched tightly to his chest a datapadd.  Carefully,  Bashir extracted the padd and handed it
to Dax, who stuffed it inside her coat with the phasers.  Then he reached inside his own coat and
hit his combadge.  "Bashir to Defiant.  Three to beam up, directly to sickbay."


     Bashir and Dax had barely gotten Jake on the biobed, still wrapped in blankets, when
Benjamin Sisko hurried into sickbay.   Bashir could not be interrupted, but Dax approached
Sisko, holding him back, "Benjamin, he's alive.  Severe hypothermia, and frostbite, I'm sure."
     Sisko pushed past Dax, but managed to stay out of Bashir's way.  "Julian, talk to me." 
His voice cracked, and he licked dry lips as he saw his son slowly being unwrapped.  Jake
looked more like he'd been in a fire, his face blackened like coal.   Bashir motioned for some
help from Dax and together they wedged the blankets out from under  Jake.  The blankets were
already soaked from melted ice.  Julian let them fall to the floor and he kicked them aside.  He
turned on a force field over the boy's body.  "What was that for?"  Sisko asked.
     Bashir faced his captain.  "His own protection, for the moment."  He hesitated, but knew
Sisko both deserved and needed to know the truth.  "His skin is very fragile right now.  Any
sudden movement on his part, or unnecessary touches, could cause it to crack.  Or extremities to
literally fall off."  He turned back to the bedside panel and explained, "The first step is to get his
body temperature back to normal.  I'm using a thermal generator.  But it's going to take time. 
Several hours, at least.  It can't be hurried.  Later, I'll be inducing coma.  He'll heal much faster
asleep, with less pain.  But he will heal."  
     Bashir saw Sisko fighting back tears.  "I expect a full recovery, Captain."  He reassured
Sisko.  
     "I want to stay with him."
     "You can take the next bed."  Bashir turned off the bio scanners on the adjacent bed, and
Sisko lay down tiredly, looking at his son.  
     Dax, having taken off her fur coat as well, began collecting the rescued items in her
arms.  "I'll take the phasers to the armory."  She adjusted her load in order to take the datapadd in
one hand.  She held it out to Sisko, who took it from her questioningly.  "He was holding this,
Benjamin."  Then, with the six phasers somewhere on her person, she left sickbay.
     Sisko looked at the datapadd.  He pushed himself up to a partial sitting position.  Jake
had been writing something.  Sisko backed up to the beginning of the document and began
reading.


     The Defiant had been gone for three days and Kira was getting worried.  It was hard to
concentrate on her duties.  It was slow in Ops, so she decided to take a break and get a drink. 
She went into Quark's and sat at the bar.  Quark stepped up.  "What can I get for you today,
Major?"
     Kira hadn't thought about specifics.  "Something soothing."
     Quark grinned, "I know just the thing.  Are you off duty, yet?"  At the shake of her head,
he shook his in disappointment.  "Maybe next time.  Some Brtiian plin juice ought to relax you,
though.  Be right back."  He disappeared to the other end of the bar, past Morn.
     Kira sighed and tried not to listen to the cries of  "Dabo!" coming from behind her.  She
wasn't fond of gambling herself, but she seemed to be in the minority.  Quark returned with a tall
thin glass of bright green liquid and set it in front of her.  He noticed how preoccupied she was. 
"Something wrong, Major?"
     Kira looked up, just then noticing the drink.  She sampled it.  "Mmmmm."  She said
absent-mindedly.  
     "Major?"  Quark asked again.
     "I'm sorry, Quark.  I'm not feeling very talkative today."  
     Quark stayed for a moment, letting Kira know he was willing to listen.  He waited while
she brooded a bit more.
     Her communicator chirped, and Kira tapped it.  "Kira here."
     "We've just received word from the Defiant, Major,"  Worf said.  Kira tensed.  "They
found Jake, alive.  Julian says he'll recover."  
     Kira breathed a sigh of relief.  "Lieutenant Barry?"  She asked.
     "He wasn't found, Major.  Their ETA is seven hours."
     "Thanks, Worf."  Kira closed her commbadge, and took another sip of the plin juice.  A
cry of "Dabo!" behind her reminded her of Leeta, one of the scantily clad dabo girls.  Jake had
dated her for awhile.  Although she was with Rom now, she might want to know about Jake. 
She was a nice girl, despite what she did for a living.  Kira swiveled on the stool to see if Leeta
was working that day.  She wasn't, but there were three other equally endowed women spinning
the wheels.  For the millionth time, Kira wished she had the freedom to shut the place down, or
at least certain parts of it.  Kira got off the stool and turned to finish her drink, planning to go
find Leeta elsewhere.  She downed it and put the glass back on the table, and noticed Quark still
looking at her.  "Just a thought, Quark," she said.  "This place could use some dabo men."
     As he watched Kira leave, Quark picked up the dirty glass thoughtfully.


     **I've got to do something or I'll die,** Sisko read.  **Who knows?  Maybe I'll die
anyway, but at least I won't die of boredom.  Besides, I need to let people know that this was all
my fault.  I bugged Dad until he let me learn to pilot a runabout when I should have just let it
rest.  I don't know.  Maybe it was just that I didn't pay enough attention when I read the manuals,
and did the simulations in the holosuite.   But when it came down to a real situation, I panicked.  
     I need to back up a bit.  It was my idea to practice on a real runabout.  I was tired of the
simulations.  I thought I'd seen all the variations, and I was bored with it.  I wanted to explore
real space.  "But you're not ready to fly solo."  Dad told me.  I didn't really think he'd let me go
alone anyway.  "I can co-pilot, Dad,"  I said.  Poor Dad.  He always had confidence in me.  If I
thought I could do something, he thought I could do it.  He always trusted me, and gave me
support, even after all the goof-ups I've done.  But this is a big one.  I don't think he'll ever trust
me again.  A few days after I asked him about it, Dad introduced me to Lieutenant Barry.  He
said that Barry would accompany me in a runabout.  "He'll be studying Kriva's Comet, which is
due to fly by the outer planets soon," he explained. "Go early,"  He added to Barry, "Take the
scenic route and let Jake try a few things."  Then he turned back to me, "You don't go through
the wormhole, Jake.  Got it?"  I remember him saying.  That was the only thing I did right.
     I was so happy to get in the Ganges.  Barry was really nice.  I thought he'd resent having
to chauffer me around, the boss's son and all.  But he seemed to be looking forward to it, too. 
"Don't worry," he told me, as we went through the pre-flight checklist, "I'll play tour guide. 
There are some great spots for free flying."  He winked at me, "I'll show you some tricks of the
trade, if you promise not to tell your Dad."  He made me smile.  
     I tried to pay close attention through the launch.  I got to engage the thrusters, and I
listened while Barry explained things.  I knew by then why Dad had asked him to do this.  Barry
was a great teacher.  A natural, I guess you'd call him.  I watched the station shrink on the
viewscreen, then switched to forward scanners.  "Okay, set a course,"  Barry said.  Since I'd
really only been to Bajor, I decided to go the opposite direction.  He let me do a lot, right away. 
He was basically there just in case, he said.  To make sure I didn't crash into any planets.  We
flew for a long time, a couple of hours at least, and I was really enjoying it.  When I needed a
break, Barry took over and did some loops just to see the big stupid grin on my face.  It was
taking enough of my concentration just to maintain level flight; I wasn't about to try anything
dangerous.
     But the space was mostly empty.  Barry glanced at our location and got excited.  He took
control and steered at a sharp angle.  "There's some great sights over here."  I looked out the
viewport and saw a few planets.  Uninhabitable, mostly.  But as we rounded one of the planets,
Barry pointed ahead.  
     "What is that?"  
     "Kriva's Comet,"  he said in awe.  He began activating all kinds of scans, and moved us in
close to the comet's orbit.
     This big ball of rock and gas blazed by us.  Is was beautiful.   
     He blushed.  "Yeah.  I'm not in sciences, though, so I didn't think I'd get the chance to see
it.  Not up close like this."  He was still watching as it shrunk rapidly on the screen.  He glanced
down briefly, and I heard him mutter "What the--?"
     I looked at my own panel and saw that all the readings, from internal air pressure to warp
drive manifold shielding, were fluctuating wildly.  I knew I didn't have much experience, but it
all seemed impossible.  It the readings were accurate, we would have blown up immediately. 
But it was also highly unlikely that every computer system on the runabout would malfunction
simultaneously.
     Then the Ganges suddenly bucked, and Barry quickly looked at his readouts, still seeing
meaningless gibberish.  I could see the wheels of his brain working as he took an educated guess, 
"A little too close.  Damn!"  The runabout still wouldn't fly straight.
     "What happened?"  I asked.
     "I'm not sure.  The comet's tail might have hit us, or a piece of it.  I don't know.  I didn't
think we were that close."  He looked worried, and it scared me.  "The stablizers aren't working. 
Jake, can you compensate?"
     I tried to adjust the flight to the rocking of the runabout, but nothing seemed to help.  I
noticed something else, too.  "Barry, we're venting just about everything.  It ruptured the tanks." 
I knew then, that we weren't going to make it back to the station.
     "I see it," he said.  "We're going to have to come down on the nearest planet.  I'll try to
get a controlled descent."  He managed to point the Ganges toward the planet.  "Send an SOS,
Jake."  I punched in the commands for automated distress, but I couldn't tell if the message got
sent or not.  My hands were shaking.  Thinking back, I may not even have pushed the right
controls.
     Looking up through the viewscreen, I didn't like the looks of it at all.  I was hoping it was
just cloud cover, but it was all white.  "Well, it's not Risa, but it'll do."  I quipped, trying to sound
like I was in control as much as he seemed to be.
     Thinking of getting myself into a safe crash position, I moved to a passenger seat and
strapped in, but Barry called back, "No Jake!  I need you up here!"  He pointed to the co-pilot
seat, but I hesitated before I sat down and strapped in there.  He strapped himself into the pilot's
seat.  "Tell me what we've got, so I don't have to read the instruments, Jake. Compensate where
ever you can." 
     "They're still fluctuating!"  Nothing made any sense.  It would have been maddening, if I
had had any time to get mad.
     "Tell me anyway.  They might be stablizing.  Observe, Jake.  I need information."
     I looked at the gauges and tried to remember what it all meant.  I raised my head to
object further, and saw an unbelievably large piece of hull float by as the runabout continued its
jerky, twirling path.  Returning to the instruments, I tried to make a guess on which ones were
accurate.  "There's an outer hull breach, and the force field is off-line, but the inner hull is
holding."   We hit atmosphere, and space was gone from the window.  It was just white.  I tried
not to look out much, to let Barry handle the steering.  "We are venting atmosphere, and plasma
coolant.  We just lost communications, and --"  I stopped.   I bent down and tried not to tense up. 
I closed my eyes.  The whole runabout was shaking.  It shook and listed from side to side for
what seemed like ages.  The walls rattled.  
     Barry shouted at me, "C'mon Jake!  Can you get attitude control?"  I kept my eyes
screwed shut.  Tried to tell myself this wasn't happening.  Willed it to just be over.  Then there
was impact that nearly broke my restraints, and the shaking stopped.  But the walls still rattled.  I
opened my eyes.  Through the window, there was still nothing but white.  A strong wind was
making the walls rattle.  
     I unstrapped myself and checked Barry.  He was unconscious, and bleeding from his
head.  "Barry!"  I shook him gently.  "Lieutenant!"  Then his head flopped, and I knew his neck
was broken.  He was dead.**


     "Captain?"  Bashir touched Sisko on the shoulder, distracting him from the padd.  "We're
docking.  I need to get Jake to the Infirmary."
     Sisko blinked for a few seconds, then turned to look at Jake.  "Of course, Doctor."  He
pushed himself off the biobed.  "I'll check in with Kira and Worf, and be there shortly."
     With the padd tucked under his arm, he left the Defiant and headed for Ops.  Kira turned
from her station to acknowledge his arrival.  "Captain." She said solemnly.
     "Mr. Worf,"  Sisko said, "I want you and O'Brien to take the Defiant back to that planet
with a salvage team and try to retrieve the runabout.  The coordinates you'll need are in the
computer."
     Worf nodded and walked toward the lift.  "Captain,"  Kira spoke up, "permission to
accompany him?"
     "Denied."  Before Kira could object he added, "I'll be spending a lot of my time in the
Infirmary, Major.  I'll need you to stay in Ops.  I realize you've already had an extended shift, but
--"
     "Understood, sir."  Kira interrupted him.  He didn't have to explain.  "Go to your son."
     They looked at each other in understanding for a moment, before he turned and left Ops.


     Dax went into Quark's and sat at the bar.  She was worried about Jake, but as she sat
there she felt something else was out of place.  Quark automatically brought her a raktajino, and
she stopped him to say, "Quark, something's different here.  What is it?"
     Quark shrugged.
     "Morn."  She realized suddenly.  "Where's Morn?  He's always sitting here."  She pointed
to the stool next to hers.
     "Oh, he's at a Dabo wheel."
     "What?"  Dax turned, and sure enough, Morn stood, silent as ever, over one of the Dabo
wheels, waiting for customers.
     "It's was Kira's idea, actually.  She said I needed some Dabo men, but it doesn't look like
it's working."  
     Dax spewed a mouthful of raktajino.  "Dabo men?"
     "Am I doing something wrong?"
     Dax collected herself, and studied the situation.  Kira, obviously upset at the perpetual
sexism of Quark's Dabo harem, had blithly suggested he provide equal opportunity for the
female customers.  In response, Quark had Morn in charge of a Dabo wheel.  "Yes, something's
wrong,"  she told him.  "Take a look at the Dabo girls."
     Smiling, Quark obliged.
     "Now, look at Morn."
     "So?"
     "Exactly.  He's not ...uh...comparable."
     "Comparable?  Oh, I see!"  He hurried out from behind the bar and over to Morn.  He
whispered something to Morn, and began helping him take off his shirt.
     Dax jumped up and hurried over.  "No, Quark.  That's not what I meant!"   Quark and
Morn both looked at her, confused.  "No offense, Morn, really, but Quark, he's not the right type
for this job."
     "He's not?"  Quark asked.
     "No, he's not."  Dax lowered her eyes.  "Please put your shirt back on, Morn."
     Quark helped Morn on with his shirt, "You can go back to your seat at the bar.  Tell Rom
you get a free drink for your trouble."
Morn nodded and walked away.   "So you think it's a bad idea?"
     "The idea is sound, Quark."  Dax had to mentally applaud Kira for coming up with it, but
then cursed her for not being more specific.  "You're just having problems putting it into
practice.  You need to find someone who does for the women the same thing that, say, Leeta,
does for the men."
     "And Morn wasn't it?"  He asked innocently.  "Then who would you suggest?"
     Dax laughed.  "Actually, anyone I'd suggest wouldn't do it."
     Quark stared at her, unmoving, until she relented with a heavy sigh.  "I'll see what I can
do."

     
     Sisko returned to the infirmary and went to his son's bedside.  He told himself that Jake
looked better, but if so, it was very slight.  "Report, Doctor."  
     Bashir was solemn.  "He's still in a coma, but like I said before, I'll be keeping him in the
coma for a few days.  His body temperature is up to eighty degrees fahrenheit and rising slowly. 
All life signs are low, but stable."  He showed Sisko to a nearby biobed, just as he had on the
Defiant.  "I can't say he's out of the woods yet, but at this point, it looks good."  Sisko looked up
as he settled himself on the biobed.  Bashir knew he wanted to know specifics.  "There's a
possibility that his system will stop responding to the stimulants, or that there may have been
brain damage before we got to him.  We won't know for sure about that until we waken him."
     Sisko took a deep breath and nodded.  Bashir walked away to give him privacy.   Sisko
pulled out the datapadd, and began reading where he left off.


     **Barry was dead.  I was alone.  I wasn't sure what to do at first, but when I looked out
the viewport I knew I couldn't stay in the Ganges.  Not that the outside looked all that appealing. 
But the snow was coming down fast and drifting rapidly and I knew the Ganges would be buried
in a few hours.  Nearly all the systems were out, and I was already starting to feel the cold.  The
shuttle was nothing more than an elaborate coffin.  Then I had to decide which equipment to
take with me.  Warmth had to come first.  I opened the storage cabinet and took as many thermal
blankets as I could wrap around me.  I folded some and tied them around my waist to secure the
rest of them against the wind.  I discarded the length of rope; it would only have been useful if
Barry had survived and we needed to stay together.  As for climbing up or down a cliff, I knew
that if there was a cliff nearby I would either bump into it or fall off of it before I even knew it
was there.  I took a travel bag and stuffed all the smaller items into it.  There were simple dishes
and cups, some utensils, a few ration packs, and a datapadd containing a survival manual.  Then
I went to the arms cabinet and took the six phasers that were there.  I looked around to see if
there was anything else I could both scavange and carry an unknown distance.  I went over to
Barry's body one last time.  "I'm sorry."  I told him.  I tried to think of something else, but there
was nothing to say.  
     I opened the door to the frigid wind and left the Ganges.  I was effectively blinded by the
ice and snow buffeting me from every direction, and stumbled that way, not even knowing
which way to go, fairly certain that I would be frozen to death before long.  I don't know how far
I had to walk or how long it took me, because there was no way to tell time now.  I just kept
moving.  Even after I grew more tired than I've ever been, I knew I had to keep moving.  I had to
lift my legs high with each step to get through the snow, and before long I couldn't even feel
anything below my knees.  I found the cave purely by accident.  Sheer luck, no doubt.  Act of the
Prophets, as Major Kira would say.  I was walking, and suddenly the wind was gone, and I
opened my eyes.  I had entered a large cavern.  I shook the snow off my legs and went further in,
panting in exhaustion.  Then fell to the floor.  But I didn't let myself fall asleep.  It was still too
cold.  I didn't dare fall asleep.  
     After resting for a time, I found the strength to crawl even further in, where the icy walls
finally gave way to stone layered with crystals.  This cave had been built probably thousands of
years ago.  It didn't look exactly natural.   Carved from one wall deep inside was a rocky slab
obstensibly for sleeping on.  I dug out one of the phasers, and set it to the lowest setting.  Then I
fired on the slab, slowly adjusting the setting up until the whole slab glowed pink.  With the
blankets to protect me, I climbed my weary body up on top of it, and lay down, finally confident
enough to sleep. **


     "No, I most certainly will not!"  Bashir exclaimed.
     "Oh, Julian.  It won't be so bad.  Really!"  Dax said in her sultriest voice, "You'll meet
lots of gorgeous women."
     Bashir turned from his terminal in his office near the Infirmary, "No."  He pushed past
her to check some readings on an analysis he had run.  "Ask someone else.  I'm very busy."
     Dax's shoulders fell.  "How is Jake?"
     "So far so good."  He told her.  
     It seemed he was going to say more, but didn't.  "Julian, you're worried,"  Dax said
knowingly.  "What's wrong?"
     Julian studied his readouts, "Maybe nothing."  He sighed, and rubbed his eyes.  "I just
expected him to respond faster, I guess."
     Dax studied his face.  He looked very tired, but what he said was sincere.  She looked
over his shoulder at the readouts, too, and was glad she did.  "His circulation is back to normal. 
All extemities are getting oxygenated.  That's good."  She put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. 
"You're impatient because you're too close, and too tired."  
     He looked up at her, "I hope you're right.  But something just doesn't feel right.  Like I'm
missing something."
     "You are missing something," she told him.  "Your rest," she clarified.  "You won't be
any help to Jake if you're exhausted," she pointed out.
     He reluctantly admitted she was right about that.  "All right, Commander," he mocked
her playfully, "I'll take a break.  Computer, alert me if there is any change in Jake Sisko's
condition."
     "Acknowledged."
     Dax watched as Julian lay down, then went to the main room where Jake and Benjamin
lay on adjacent beds.  Jake was sleeping; his father was lying on his side, watching Jake's thin
chest rise and fall.   "Benjamin."  She said gently, letting him know of her presence.
     Benjamin Sisko pushed himself to a sitting position, the datapadd still in his hand.  "Hi,
Dax.  Any news from the Defiant?"
     "No.  Not yet."  She pointed to the datapadd, "So what was he holding?"
     "This?"  He wasn't sure he wanted to share it with anyone yet.  "Just some writing of his. 
He kept himself busy, I guess."  He downplayed it, not mentioning that it was a diary at all.
     Dax nodded.  "He's alive.  He did good down there.  When he wakes up, you'll have
plenty to talk about."
     "When he wakes up,"  Sisko repeated, although he was thinking "if".
     Dax peered at him.  He looked as tired as Bashir.  "Have you slept since we got back?"
She asked.
     Sisko waved the question away, "I'll be all right, Old Man."  He leaned his head against
the wall above the bed, trying to blink the weariness from his eyes.  "It's a diary," he blurted.
     "Pardon?"
     He lifted the datapadd.  "He kept a diary."  Dax came forward and sat on the edge of the
biobed, concern easily seen on her face.  "Apparently, the crash was his fault."
     "Oh, Benjamin...."  Dax said.  "Is that what it says?"
     Sisko sighed, accepting what he saw as the truth, "He panicked after the runabout was hit
by debris from the comet.  Instead of compensating, like Barry told him to, he went into a crash
position.  Barry couldn't control the runabout by himself.  With a controlled entry, the computer
systems might not have been damaged.  And Barry might have survived."
     "He blames himself for Barry's death."  Dax stated, and she looked at Jake's unconscious
form in a new light.  "That's a lot of guilt for someone his age to carry.  Do you think it's true?"
     "Would he make it up?"  Sisko asked.   
     "Well, don't jump to conclusions, Benjamin."  Dax patted his leg, "The Defiant will be
bringing back the runabout.  An examination of the damage will tell us all we need to know." 
She rose, started to leave and turned back.  "Get some rest, Benjamin."  She saw him close his
eyes, and she left.  
     After he heard the swoosh of the door closing, Sisko opened his eyes, and lifted the
datapadd.


     **I don't know how long I slept, of course.  I woke somewhat stiff, and still felt
unbearably cold, but I was thankful that I woke up at all.  I was tempted to reheat the slab again,
but I knew I couldn't waste the phaser energy.  My stomach was rumbling, so I opened one ration
pack and nibbled slowly until the rumbling ceased.  I'd need water.  Clean water.  Wrapping the
blankets tighter around me, and grabbing the cup I had salvaged, I went to the mouth of the
cavern.
     Nothing had changed.  Visibility was nearly zero.  If the runabout was still out there,
unburied or not, I couldn't see it.  A storm still raged out there.  Who knew if it was night or day? 
Probably a permanent weather condition.  I reached out and scooped up a cupful of snow, and
took it back inside.  I sat the cup on a rock, and picked up the phaser I had used before I slept,
and heated the rock until the snow melted and came to a boil.  I didn't want to run the risk of
accidentally vaporizing the only water container I had.  I could have heated the cup directly, or
for that matter, even the snow, but a phaser has alot of power and I wasn't comfortable with it
yet.  That should take care of any bacteria, I thought.  I let it cool for a moment, then picked up
the cup using the edges of a blanket as potholders, and sipped it.  It was still warm, and felt
really good going down.  I tried to drink it as slow as I could, but it just didn't stay warm very
long.  By the time I finished the cup, ice crystals were already forming in it.    
     I had taken care of the three most important things: shelter, food and water.  While I was
still cold, I felt better.  I tried not to think about Barry.  To occupy my time, I picked up the
datapadd and began reading the survival manual.  It felt good to realize that I had done all the
right things so far without even consulting it.  But I knew it got harder.  The rations wouldn't last
very long, and though I had access to all the water I could possibly drink, it depended on the
phaser energy to purify it for drinking.  
     I tried to get some sense of time, but it was nearly impossible.  I knew we'd been flying
for at least four or five hours.  The crash seemed to have taken forever, but would have been five
or ten minutes.  I estimated three quarters of an hour until I left the runabout and found the cave. 
And I must have slept several hours after that.  So I'd already been gone at least twelve hours. 
The search for the missing runabout surely had begun by now.  But there was no telling how
long it would take to track us down.  Finding the right planet shouldn't take long, but these
constant winter storms were going to play havoc with sensor readings.  The runabout would be
buried, visibility close to zero.  It really began to look pretty bad to me.  
     Pulling the blankets closer around me, I pulled the datapadd inside them with me as I sat
on the cold stone slab and leaned against the cold stone wall.  I opened a new document and
began writing. **


     "Benjamin, wake up!"  
     Ben Sisko sat up in the biobed before even opening his eyes.  He was surprised to find
Dax shaking his shoulder.  "Dax, what is it?  The Defiant?"
     "No, nothing from them yet," she said.  "Benjamin, you said Jake's diary said the Ganges
was hit by debris from the comet?"
     Sisko nodded.  What was she getting at?
     She was shaking her head.  "It couldn't have been."
     "What?  Why not?"
     Dax pulled him off the bed and led him to a computer monitor.   "Computer," she said,
"locate long range sensor data from one week ago and the following two days.  In that data
sample, locate and display data from Kriva's comet."
     On the computer monitor, data began scrolling past.  Dax paused it every few moments
as she pointed things out.  "Look.  These scans are from before they left.  And these are from
after the runabout went down, by our best estimates.  There's no significant loss of mass."
     Sisko scanned the data as she spoke.  "What's the margin for error?  These are long range
scans."
     "Not enough to account for the kind of damage that would take down a runabout.  Even if
it were all in one big chunk, which it wouldn't be, it would have to be at least eight point three
percent of the comet's mass.  The differential is less than one percent."
     What she was saying finally sunk into Sisko's still groggy brain.  "If the comet didn't take
it down, what did?"
     "Exactly."  They looked at each other knowingly.
     Sisko tapped his communicator and spoke on the run, "Sisko to Ops."  He continued
without waiting for Kira's reply, "Kira, try to contact the Defiant.  I'm on my way up there right
now."
     "Aye, sir."
     With one quick look back at Jake, the two raced out of the infirmary.
     As they entered Ops, Dax moved smoothly to her science station.  Without being asked,
Kira reported, "No reply from the Defiant..."  her voice drifted as she continued to work her
console.  "Wait.  I'm getting something.  Some strange kind of feedback."  She raised her head,
"It's from the Defiant.  A coded burst."
     "What does it say?"  
     Kira read it aloud, "Under attack.  Jem 'Hadar.  Maintain radio silence."  She swallowed,
"that's all."  Damn, she hated not knowing what was going on out there.  
     "It appears that O'Brien set the transmission to ride back on our carrier signal, as soon as
we attempted to make contact."  Dax's eyes opened wider.  She was impressed.  "Although I'm
not exactly sure how he accomplished it."
     "I'll be in my office."  Sisko said grimly, as he climbed the few steps behind Dax's
station.  
     He sat at his desk and steepled his fingers.  The Jem 'Hadar had to have come from
Cardassian space.  What was on that planet that any of them would want?  Cardassians could
stand the cold even less than humans.   The Jem 'Hadar were rugged, but still used to jungle
terrain.  Only the Founders themselves would be able to make use of it, he imagined.  And that
was not characteristic of that isolationist race at all.   The question was, was something there that
they wanted, or did they want to put something there?  At least he felt reasonably sure of Worf's
ability to command the Defiant in battle.  He wondered just how many ships the Klingon was
facing, however.  He hadn't asked Sisko to send for reinforcements, so he must have felt
confident about the situation.   But the whole thing was making Sisko very edgy.  Although it
was an outer planet, it was still way too close to DS9 and Bajor for comfort.


     The Defiant came out of warp smoothly, and fell into a polar orbit, as per log entries
from the rescue mission, around the frozen planet.   Worf leaned forward in the Captain's chair,
anxious to get this salvage mission under way.  "Can you locate the runabout?"  He asked Chief
O'Brien, who was at the con.  
     After establishing orbit, O'Brien got up and went to the weapons console, where the
tractor controls were located.  He scanned the instruments quickly.  "This is odd."
     "Chief?"
     "There's some interference I can't pinpoint, but I think I'm detecting tectonic activity
down there."  He adjusted some controls, trying to get a clearer reading.
     "Earthquakes?  What about the Ganges?"
     The frustration was beginning to show on O'Brien's face.  "This is going to be tricky.  The
sensors aren't responding like they should."  He paused, concentrating.  "I think I have it.  There's
something there, but I can't tell if it's the runabout.  Locking tractor beam."
     Just then, the ship bucked.  O'Brien accessed perimeter scans.  "Damn.  A Jem 'Hadar
ship just decloaked and fired on us!"
     Worf responded immediately, "Shields up!  Hail the Jem 'Hadar ship!"
     O'Brien jumped back to the con, his instincts already in battle mode.  Without being told,
he brought the ship around and powered up weapons.  "Phasers locked."  He squinted at his
panel.  "And we're being hailed.  No response from the Jem 'Hadar.  It's from the station."
     "Don't acknowledge."
     "Sir?"
     "Radio silence except for ship to ship."  The ship was hit again.  "Return fire!"
     "Aye, sir."  Thinking quickly, O'Brien coded a short message and set it to DS9's sent
frequency.  He hoped he'd done it fast enough for the signal to piggyback.  Then he fired the
phasers at the Jem 'Hadar ship.
     When the phasers had no effect, Worf said, "Photon torpedoes."
     O' Brien fired a spread of three torpedoes at the Jem 'Hadar fighter.  "Direct hit!"  Even as
he spoke, the Defiant was rocked again by incoming fire, shot seconds before the torpedoes hit. 
"Our forward shield is down."
     "Keep our port side to them.  Fire at will."
     "Aye, sir."
     Beams of energy criss-crossed in space, broken only by intermittent photon bursts from
the Defiant.  O'Brien saw the opening he was waiting for.  The ship tilted, and for one
unfortunate second, it's phaser emitter was open.  He sent simultaneous torpedoes and phaser
beams to that point, hitting the emitter with full force.  The explosion took out a large portion of
their hull, and the ship went silent.  But a chain reaction had begun inside, and several seconds
later the engine core exploded as well, reducing the ship to a slowly expanding debris field.
     "Damage report."  Worf said.
     "Forward shield is gone.  Port shield is down to fifty percent.  No hull breech.  No
casualties."  It certainly helped that there was not a full crew compliment aboard.  
     "Contact the station."
     


     Bashir was wakened by a shrieking alarm.  He jumped up immediately and raced into the
infirmary, where he found Jake's unconscious body struggling against the restraints, in the throes
of a seizure.  Quickly, he grabbed a hypo, then released the restraints and spread himself over
Jake's torso to hold him down as he pressed the hypo against the boy's neck.  Slowly, he felt the
convulsions subside, and finally Jake was still again.  Bashir was breathing heavy from the
sudden rush of adrenaline.
     He took deep breaths to calm himself as he straightened.  He opened each of Jake's eyes
and peered at them.  He couldn't wait any longer.  He had to know what was going on in Jake's
brain.  The scans could only tell him so much.  There appeared to be no serious damage, but that
didn't necessarily mean there wasn't any.  The synaptic mapping had been inconclusive.  
     Julian turned to the next bed and noticed that Sisko wasn't in it.  He tapped his
communicator, "Bashir to Sisko."
     "Sisko here, Julian."
     "I'm ready to wake him up."
     "I'll be right there."
     By the time Bashir had gathered the instruments to within easy reach, Sisko came
through the door.  Bashir approached him.  "Sir, before I do this, I think I should warn you. 
There's no way to know what might happen.  Five minutes ago, he was seizing.  Not necessarily
a bad sign, but not a good one, either.  I'm only going to wake him for a few minutes, to assess
his brain function."  He lead Sisko to the opposite side of the bed, "I want you to talk to him
soothingly.  He might recognize you, he might not."  Sisko nodded solemnly, and Bashir reached
for the hypo, which he pressed gently against Jake's carotid artery.
     "Jake,"  Sisko said immediately, "I'm here.  I'm right here for you.  It's okay now.  You're
safe.  Everything's going to be all right.  Bashir is taking care of you.  There's nothing to worry
about."  Nothing had happened, and he looked at Bashir worriedly.  Bashir merely motioned for
him to continue.   "I know you can hear me, Jake.  We need you to wake up now.  You've been
sleeping long enough.  You'll..." his voice cracked a bit, "you'll be late for school, you know." 
Seeing the lack of response was difficult.  He noticed Bashir taking more readings, and
preparing another hypo.  "I love you, Jake.  Everything's okay.  You're safe here.  And warm. 
Don't you feel warm now?  It'll probably be awhile before you want ice cream again."  The
attempt at humor passed without comment.
     Bashir placed the second hypo on the other side of Jake's neck.  "C'mon, Jake,"  he
whispered himself, "you can do this."
     His eyelashes fluttered.  A groan escaped his lips.  His eyes opened, blinking.
     "Computer, reduce lighting to half,"  Bashir said quietly.
     The computer complied, and the light dimmed slightly.   Jake opened his eyes and looked
around the room.   He saw his father, and a smile curled his lips.  "Dad."
     Silent tears burst from Sisko's eyes and ran down his cheeks.  "Jake," he replied,
swallowing the lump in his throat, "yes, I'm right here."  He took Jake's hand in his.
     "Jake."  Bashir got Jake's attention, was glad to see his head and eyes turn.  "Do you
know who I am?"
     "Doctor Bashir."  Jake said, tiredly.
     Bashir went to the foot of the bed and pinched Jake's bare foot.  "Did you feel that?"
     "Yeah.  Too tired to say 'ouch',"  Jake said.
     Bashir's smile radiated.  "That's great, Jake."  He returned to the side of the bed, "Jake,
you're going to go back to sleep now, but you're going to be just fine.  You understand?"
     Jake nodded sleepily, out even before Bashir used the last hypo.
     Bashir took a deep breath of satisfaction, and met Sisko's gaze.  "He'll wake on his own
in about six hours, hopefully hungry.  And he'll be weak for several days.   But there appears to
be no permanent damage."
     Sisko looked down at his son, this time with much less worry.  "I have to get back to Ops. 
Thank you, Doctor."  Sisko returned to Ops, told Kira and Dax the good news, then retreated to
his office.


     **I'm on the third phaser already.  I stayed awake as long as I could but I don't want to
drift off before heating the slab.  That's the major power drain.  I could probably reduce the
surface area, but that would require using the phaser, too, and I don't thing it would be helpful
overall.  I've honed the water heating to an art form, I think.   I'm now able to fire the phaser
directly at the snow and bring it to an almost instant boil.  It's certainly become routine enough. 
I only have one ration pack left, and I'm constantly hungry.  But I'm holding off.  It's hard, but I
have to.  I lost control once already and ate a whole pack at one sitting.  It helped for awhile, but
I can't help thinking how much longer I'd have food if I hadn't rushed through it like that.  Partly
it's because there's not much to occupy my time.  I have to stay awake as much as possible, but
there's nothing to do but look out at the storm.  Yes, the storm is still going strong.  I don't know
if this planet has longer days and I just haven't seen the sunset yet, or if the storm is blocking any
noticeable light source.   But there's nothing I can count to mark time.  Except for my own
heartbeat.  I did that for awhile.  Actually got up to twelve hundred before I just lost interest. 
I've attempted to sing every song I ever knew, including the alphabet.  Anything to keep going.  
     Dad, if you're reading this, if I ever again complain to you that I'm starving, please hit
me.  I've never known what that word meant until now.  I'm munching on the last ration pack
now because I just got a real hunger pang.  Just a couple of pinches of dehydrated whatever it is
and I'll fold it up for later.  I was sitting here, thinking about what to write, when my stomach
cramped up.  It seemed to last forever, and I huddled doubled over on the slab waiting for it to
go away.  For awhile, I didn't think it would.  Nothing I've ever done, no injury I've ever suffered
hurt like that.  Okay, I've put away the ration pack, where I can't see it.  I guess I'll just wait for
the next hunger pang.  I have to wait.  I have to.  All I can think about is eating, though.  I'm
drinking more water, and I always try to drink it while it's as hot as I can stand it.  That heat feels
so good.  And then the cold comes back.  Even in here, without the wind, it's so cold.
     I can't feel my feet.  My fingers are stiff, but I think punching this datapadd keeps what
little blood flow they've got.  I walk around some, but it hurts.  I try to do it even though it hurts. 
But that tires me out, which means heating up the slab for sleep again.  So I don't know what to
do.  I don't have many resources, and everything seems wasteful now.  I bet the Bajorans had to
deal with stuff like this during the Occupation.  Are there any frozen wastelands on Bajor?  But I
know they had to scrimp and save every morsel, at least most of the time.  I really admire Major
Kira.  And all the Bajorans, now.  They lived like this.  Of course, they had people to talk to, but
they lived like this.  I'm just going to die like this.
     I didn't mean that.  I don't want to die here.  I'm so cold.  Somebody come.  Please. **


     Dax was walking down the promenade, heading back to the infirmary to check on Jake's
progress, when Quark came running up alongside her.  "Any luck, Commander?"
     It took her a couple of seconds to remember what he was referring to.  "Um, I'm sorry,
Quark, but I've got work to do now."
     "And I've got a business to run, and an unmanned dabo wheel.  And you said you'd find
someone."  He reminded her.
     She stopped walking and gave him her attention. "I remember, Quark.  And I will find
you a dabo man, but I've really got work to do.  Why don't you put another girl there,
temporarily, until I do find someone?"
     Quark tilted his large head, "Well.....alright.  Hey!"  He brightened, "That gives me a
chance to advertise!  Whoever gets this job, his first day is going to bring in alot of business!" 
And he left, wringing his hands in glee.
     Dax shook her head, but still felt a little guilty that she had only asked one person so far. 
Just to add to her sense of accomplishment, she headed for Garak's tailor shop.
     Garak greeted her as she entered, "Hello, Commander!  What a pleasure to have you in
my establishment!  What can I do for you?  An evening gown, perhaps?  Or is it time for that
wedding gown?"
     Dax held her tongue.  Her relationship with Worf was well known, but how it was
progressing was certainly not Garak's business.  "Not today, Garak.  I just have a question I need
to ask you.  Would you be interested in working for Quark?"
     "Quark?"  Garak was taken aback.
     "Yes.  He wants a male dabo dealer.  He started with Morn," she explained quickly, "but I
told him he needed someone with more, um, sex appeal.  And he finagled me into helping him,
so......" She let her voice drift off, not even willing to make eye contact with Garak.
     Garak smiled broadly, "sex appeal?  And you came to me?  I'm flattered, Commander,
really."  He folded some large pieces of cloth as he spoke, "but I'm much too busy.  I have my
own business to attend to, afterall."
     "It wouldn't have to be full time.  You could arrange a schedule with Quark, I'm sure, that
would allow you to keep your tailor shop's regular hours."  There, that should fulfill her
obligation to this candidate, she thought.
     "Sorry, Commander."  Garak replied congenially, "but I'm really not interested.  Thank
you for asking, though."
     Dax nodded her acceptance, and left the tailor shop, resuming her path to the infirmary. 
She hadn't gone far when her communicator beeped.  "Sisko to Dax.  Report to Ops, please."
     "On my way."  She made an about face, and picked up her pace.
     As she entered Ops, she was pleased to see Worf in his command chair on screen, with
O'Brien behind him.  She slid into her science station gracefully.
     "The Jem 'Hadar ship is destroyed and we are resuming the salvage operation."  Worf
was saying as she entered.  "However, there seems to be some unusual electro-magnetic
interference in the area.  We're having trouble pinpointing the Ganges and locking the tractor
beam on it."
     "Yes."  Sisko agreed.  "We noticed some interference as well.  Once we found Jake, of
course, we didn't stop to investigate."
     Dax spoke up, and directed her question to Worf.  "Worf, can you send us your sensor
readings of the area where the runabout went down?"
     "Of course, Commander."  He nodded, and O'Brien did so.  
     O'Brien added, "But I'm not sure they'll be of much help.  They appear to be scrambled.  I
can't seem to find the source of that interference, although it must be massive to have this kind
of range.  It's playing havoc with every sensor array we've got."
     Dax's brow furrowed as she read the incoming information.  "He's right.  None of this
makes sense."
     Sisko seemed disappointed not to have an answer.  "Keep trying, Chief.  We'll see what
we can do from this end.  Sisko out."  The screen returned to its normal view of local space, and
Sisko again went to his office.
     At the last minute, Dax rose to join him.  As the door closed behind her, she asked,
"Benjamin, do you have that diary here?"
     By that time, he had it in his hands, "Yes.  Why?"
     "I need to see what he wrote about the crash itself."  
     Sisko began scrolling to find that section.  "You have a theory?"
     She sat in a chair opposite his desk and took the datapadd when he offered it to her.  "I'm
not sure."  She scanned the few paragraphs.  
     Just then, Sisko's communicator beeped.  "Bashir to Sisko."
     "Sisko here.  Go ahead, Doctor."  Dax lifted her head, also listening.
     "Jake's awake.  I'm getting him a sandwich."  
     Sisko silently thanked the Prophets.  It was getting to be a habit, but it was nice to have
someone to thank.  "I'll be there as soon as I can.  Sisko out."
     "My God."  Dax  said, as she resumed reading, and rose to show the passage to Sisko. 
"Look.  It's all here!  We've got a problem, Benjamin."  She sank back into the chair, laying the
padd on the desk.
     Sisko picked it up and reread the section.  "Would you care to explain?  I think I'm
missing something."
     Dax apologized, "Sorry.  You are.  You haven't compared the sensor readings."  She
slowed down and pointed to the padd.  "Jake says the insturments went haywire BEFORE the
impact happened.  We know they were fired upon, but with what?  No standard weapons would
have that effect."
     Sisko hated the Socratic Method.  "And what do the sensor readings have to do with it? 
And what exactly is our problem?"
     "I think the sensors are accurate; they're just not showing us what we expected.  The
readings O'Brien sent me show the Ganges at one and half times its normal mass.  That would be
an intact runabout, not one minus the debris we found in orbit when we found Jake.  I think the
Jem 'Hadar shot something into the runabout, something massive, causing it to crash on that
planet.  Something like an incredibly strong electro-magnet.  As it approached the runabout, the
systems reacted to the EM field."
     That was more like it.  Sisko was following this explanation.  "But how did they know
the runabout would be there?  And why did they do it?"
     Dax licked dry lips.  "I think the runabout just got in the way.  Or became a convenient
target, if the Jem 'Hadar were watching and waiting.  As for why...."  She paused,  "O'Brien's
readings also show a slow, but exponential increase in tidal forces.   It's already causing minor
quakes.  Another few days to a week, and the planet could conceivable break apart or even shift
orbit."
     "Causing a major gravitational disturbance throughout the solar system."  Sisko finished.
     "We have to get the Ganges, and that EM generator, off that planet.  The problem is, as
the runabout gets tractored up, the Defiant's system will also react.  They won't be able to get a
transporter lock on the generator to beam it away, and if they bring it aboard, they could
scramble the Defiant's computers worse than Eddington did." 
     Sisko hit his comm badge.  "Sisko to Ops.  Kira, contact the Defiant."


     Jake, his skin now appearing his normal color, was sitting up weakly in the biobed,
eating the sandwich Bashir had given him.  He wondered what was keeping his Dad so busy.  
But Jake was sure he would be visiting soon.   And then, Jake knew, he would have to tell his
father what he had done.  He took another bite, but the appetite he'd wakened with was gone. 
Thoughts of Lieutenant Barry had come unbidden into his head.  Instead of being hungry, his
stomach felt tight inside.   He looked at the sandwich as if there might be something wrong with
it.   He wished the ordeal was already in the distant past.  He didn't look forward to the
awkwardness that was sure to follow him for at least several days.  Awkwardness partly from his
weakened condition, but also from his own wondering what people were thinking.  How much
did they know?  Had they been close to Barry?  Did they hate him for causing the Lieutenant's
death?   Did they feel sorry for him because of his brush with mortality?  Could they see the truth
on his face?  Then he remembered something.  "Doctor?"
     "Yes, Jake?"  Bashir asked from nearby, where he was logging Jake's progress.
     "I was holding a datapadd.  Where is it?"
     "I believe your father has it.  Should I ask him to bring it with when he comes?"  Bashir
waited for a reply.
     Jake thought about it for a moment.  If he had it, he was no doubt reading it.  In a way, it
made it easier.   His Dad would know the facts.  All Jake would have to do is sit there and listen
to a lecture.  Very little explaining.  "No, thanks."  He finally replied.  He took a drink of the
milk Bashir had also supplied, "I guess I don't need it anymore."  The sandwich slowly
disappeared from his hand as he sat thinking about what he had written, and how much of it his
father had read.  Well, he'd find out soon enough.  If things got rough, he could pretend to be
suddenly very tired, which wouldn't be far from the truth, either.  Under the blanket, Jake flexed
his ankles and toes, taking little joy in welcomming back sensation to his extremities.


     Worf was again on the screen.  O'Brien could be seen, still sitting at the con in the
foreground.  Sisko and Dax had explained her theory, and O'Brien admitted that it fit all the
facts.  "So what are our options?"  Sisko asked of his people.  "We can't leave it on the planet,
and if we take it off, we're endangering both the ship and the station.  I really don't want to
destroy the runabout, either.  Personally, I'd like to have that generator as evidence."
     "Then we'll need to shut it down."  O'Brien stated.  "That's the only way we could
transport it safely.  In an inactive state."
     "It's under several feet of snow and probably ice.  Do you know of any way to accomplish
that?"
     "I could try to tractor it to the surface, then we'd have to send someone down to
deactivate the generator.  Problem is, the transporters wouldn't be reliable.  Not anymore.  The
field is too intense.  We'd have to send down a second runabout, which, as it nears the planet,
would also lose control.  The pilot would have to survive a crash landing, as well as navigate
from one crash site to the other through blizzard conditions, without help.  Communications will
be spotty at best, until the generator is deactivated.  Then both runabouts, with the pilot in the
damaged one, could be tractored in."
     It really seemed to be the only way.  "How can you ensure the pilot's safety in the
landing?  And make sure he or she doesn't get lost on the way to the other runabout?"
     O'Brien gave a little smile at the "he or she" part.  They both knew who would be doing
this.  "The first part is easy.  I'll wear crash gear.  The second part, well...." He sighed, "I can rig
some EM shielding around a tricorder, but there's no way to know if it'll be strong enough to cut
through the interference at ground zero.   But I can use a tether, to make sure I can at least find
my way back to the second runabout."
     "Sounds like a good plan, Chief.  Keep us posted, Worf."  As he climbed the steps to his
office, Sisko wondered if O'Brien would be able to pull if off, or if he would have to send yet
another rescue mission.  In the meantime, he wanted to visit Jake in the Infirmary, but first he
wanted to finish reading the Diary.  He sat at his desk and picked up the datapadd, which still
showed the passages Dax had looked at.  He scrolled forward.


     **The rations are gone.  I've even licked the wrappings.  There's nothing left.  And I'm on
the last phaser.  Either some of them weren't fully charged when I took them, or I've been using
them more than I realize.  No more phaser means no more hot water to drink to keep me warm. 
It's a tough choice.  Do I drain the last phaser on one last cup of water, or use it on myself?  Even
if I only stunned myself, at least I'd be unconscious before I froze to death.  I haven't really slept
in what seems like forever.  I keep shivering.  Sometimes, I can't make myself stop shivering.  I
could have prevented all this if I'd just used that first phaser, before I even left the runabout.  It
would be done now, and I wouldn't be so hungry or cold.  Well, I'd be cold, but it's not like I'd
notice then.  There are times when I find myself envying Lieutenant Barry.  
     My fingers are so stiff, I'm having trouble using this datapadd.  I don't think I'll be able to
write much more.  I'm beginning to think it's all pointless, anyway.  No one's going to see this. 
No one's going to find me.  I'm sorry, Dad.  Damn it, if I cry my eyes will freeze!  I can't stand
this anymore.  All this time I've tried to be disciplined, or maybe I was just accepting my
punishment.  I don't know.  But there's no fight left in me.  I want to wrap myself up, and lay
down, and let whatever wants to happen happen.  Then I think, they must be close.  I need to
hang on a little longer.  But that's what I've been telling myself since I got here.  I get the feeling
I've been lying.  I'm sorry, Dad.  I had so much I still wanted to do.  I mean, I know kids die
everywhere, and it never did seem right.  But then, it never seems right for anyone to die, to me.  
     I want to keep trying.  But I know it's meaningless.  I'm going to drain the phaser now,
and then I'm finished. **


     Sisko raised an eyebrow.  So what did he use the phaser on?  He scrolled a bit, but that's
all there was.  Not even a "The End".  Just nothing.  He may have heated that one last cup of
water.  Without a time index, it was equally possible that he had stunned himself shortly before
being found.  Sisko didn't want to think about it.  Leaving the padd on his desk, he went into
Ops.  "I'll be in the Infirmary, if you need me, Major."  
     "Aye, sir."
     Sisko had occasion to smile, for when he entered the Infirmary he saw Jake sitting up,
chatting with Dr. Bashir.  "Dad!"  He called cheerily.
     "Well, you're looking much better!"  Sisko said, grinning broadly as he came up to tousle
the boy's hair.
     Bashir was also smiling.  "He's still weak, but I'll release him tomorrow.  You've got quite
a son, Captain."  With that, and a brief touch of Sisko's shoulder, Bashir retreated to his office to
give father and son privacy.
     Sisko pulled up a chair and sat at the bedside.  "He's right, you know.  I've got quite a
son."
     Jake blushed.  "Aw, Dad.  Don't."  The smile faded, as did the light in his eyes.  "It's not
true."
     "Who says?"
     Jake hesitated, but still didn't raise his eyes.  "I say.  And you know it.  I know you read
it."
     Sisko tried to catch his sons eyes with his own, but finally had to use a finger under his
chin.  "You did a good job, with that diary.  Let me tell you something."  And Sisko explained to
his son what they had discovered, and how his description of the events leading up to the crash
played a major part.  He could tell that Jake was trying not to show any emotion on his face.  It
was rigid throughout Sisko's story.  "Only Dax and I have read it.  I want you to know that.  No
one else will ever see it."
     "But what about.....what I did?"  
     Had he even listened?  Sisko put his hands on Jake's shoulders and pulled him to face
him, legs dangling off the edge of the bed, brushing against Sisko's own legs.  "You didn't do
anything wrong, Jake.  In fact, you did everything right.  You couldn't have avoided the crash.  If
anything, Barry caused his own death by not preparing himself as you did.  Then you
documented everything.  And you stayed alive so that we could find you.  Those are two big,
important accomplishments.  Do you understand me?"
     Jake's eyes were moist with tears.  He didn't speak, but nodded very slightly.  
     Sisko pulled his son close, and held him.  After a few moments, he sensed his son had
collected himself, and helped him settle back into the bed.  His voice, when he spoke, was so
soft Sisko had to lean in close to hear him.  "Did you finish?"
     "The Diary?"  Sisko shrugged, "Got too busy.  And there's no reason to read the rest of it
now, is there?"  He saw that Jake was falling asleep.  "I'll just go ahead and delete it."
     "No."
     "No?"
     Jake's eyes were closed.  "A writer never deletes anything.  Save it for me."
     Pulling the blanket up over his son, Sisko whispered, "I'll do that."


     "Is there anything I can do?"  Worf asked through the comm as Chief O'Brien prepared
the Orinoco for launch.  The Ganges had been tractored successfully to the surface, and it was
now up to the Chief to deactivate the electro-magnetic generator.
     "Have some hot chocolate ready for me when I get back."  O'Brien answered.  "And I
want marshmallows.  The big ones."
     Worf was not sure if O'Brien was having fun or was serious.  "You are cleared for launch. 
No other vessels are detected in the area."
     "Aye, sir.  Launching runabout.  I'll contact you when I've deactivated the generator."
     "And if you are unable to find the Ganges?"  As commander, Worf had to ask questions
like this.
     O'Brien considered it.  "If you haven't heard from me in half an hour, tractor up the
Orinoco."  The implications of that statement hung in the air.  That would mean the generator
was still operational.  And the Chief himself may or may not be inside the ship.  If he was not, he
may be pulled along behind on the tether, or not be there at all.     
     A few minutes later, the Orinoco cleared the docking bay doors and came about to
descend to the planet.  The flight was smooth until he hit atmosphere, when high winds began
buffeting the small ship.  But O'Brien was safe, already sealed inside an environmental suit and
helmet.  It was indeed difficult to maintain a level flight.  Even with an undamaged ship, O'Brien
had his hands full.  He managed to steer toward the coordinates of the downed Ganges before the
readings began to fluctuate.  The ground came up unexpectedly and the Orinoco landed roughly
on the planet.  O'Brien felt his helmet bang against the wall, and was grateful it wasn't his head. 
When the ship was still, it was only a relative term.  An irregular rocking marked the passage of
a strong wind.
     O'Brien unstrapped himself and pulled out the modified tricorder.  The generator was
detected, now all he had to do was get there.  Grabbing a phaser and his toolkit, he opened the
side door, cringing instinctively from the snowstorm, and attached the tether mounted just
outside the door to a secure ring on his belt.  He stepped out and let the door close, watching the
tricorder.  Keeping his eyes on the screen, he stepped forward, feeling himself sink to his knees
with each step.  After several steps, he looked up and around.  It was already as if he were alone. 
The runabout behind him was no more visible than the one he hoped was in front of him.  He put
his free hand on the tether to reassure himself, and moved forward again.  He had to brush snow
off the tricorder's viewscreen.
     The cold was creeping through the environmental suit.  Even it was not impervious to
these temperatures.  After about ten minutes of walking, O'Brien was getting worried that either
the tether would run out or he had lost his way.  On the next step, the readings on the tricorder
began to fluctuate.  He stopped dead in his tracks to make sure he'd seen it.  It had to be close. 
Two more steps and the tricorder was useless.  He slung it over his shoulder.  And then another
step, and dread filled him as the tether line went taut.  
     "Okay."  He told himself.
     He reached out his arm as far as he could, stretched and turned his torso to extend his
reach, and maybe he was imagining it, but he thought he felt a solid wall on the tips of his
fingers.  Hoping he was right, he reached down and detached the tether, hanging on to the clip
with one hand, he reached out with the other again, and definitely felt a wall.  He gave the tether
a quick pull, then let go.  It retracted into the whiteness.  Then he followed the wall around.  He
recognized the rear end of the shuttle as he passed it, and came around to the other side, where
he gasped.  There was a hole in the side big enough for him to go through, stooping, which he
immediately did.  The hole led into the small cargo area.
     There, against the far wall, O'Brien found the machine.  He rushed to it.  It wasn't
anything he was familiar with, but if he could interface Cardassian technology with Federation
he could do anything.  Examining it quickly, he tried to determine the best way to turn it off.  It
was the size of a replicator, with a panel of blinking lights, and another panel of pressure
sensitive controls.  The markings were all in an odd language, whatever the Jem 'Hadar wrote in,
apparently.  He was glad this wasn't a bomb that might explode if he did the wrong thing.  It was
just a machine, and the Jem 'Hadar had meant for it to continue working.  At worst, the abort
would be keyed to a voiceprint.  In that case, there would be little he could do except destroy it. 
He had a phaser attached to the suit in case that was necessary, but an intact machine was
naturally preferred.  He wondered how much time had passed.
     The runabout shook violently as a quake ripped through the area.  O'Brien fell to his
knees and waited for the quake to pass.  It was only a mild tremor.  So far.  But from his new eye
level, he spotted something he hadn't seen before.  An access panel.  He pulled out his toolkit
and had the panel open in short order.  Now this was what he understood.  His trained eye
followed the connections and bypasses inside, found failsafes and redundancies, and he smiled
inside his helmet.  Switching tools, he poked his hands inside.
     Soon, the lights were no longer blinking.  He checked the tricorder and found normal
readings.  He fell against the wall and hit his communicator.  "O'Brien to Defiant.  Mission
accomplished."
     There was no answer.


     High in orbit, Worf heard the message.  "Lieutenant Paza, fire at will."  He said.
     Lieutenant Paza, sitting at the con, fired full phaser banks at the Jem 'Hadar ship dodging
in front of the Defiant.  They missed and faded off into space.  "Sorry, sir."
     Worf would have to speak to the Lieutenant about apologizing in the midst of battle. 
Also for apologizing when it was not necessary.  Even with phaser lock, shots sometimes
missed.  The best the computer could do was anticipate a ship's most likely movement. 
Sometimes, a ship performed an unexpected move and avoided being hit.  "Photon spread."  He
commanded.  "Target the engine core."
He had no time for niceties, such as disabling the ship.  This enemy had to be disposed of
quickly.   
     "Aye, sir."  He turned abruptly, "Sir, they're retreating!  Should we persue?"
     Worf saw that Paza was correct.  The enemy ship was turning away, and as they watched,
went into warp and disappeared.  "No. They detected the deactivation of the generator and
realized their plot had been discovered." He surmised.  "Let them return home to announce their
failure."  But that was all the time he gave to that.  "Activate tractor beams."


     Benjamin Sisko walked around the runabout, now sitting in docking bay 4, amazed at the
amount of wreckage.  Chief O'Brien, finally getting a good look at it himself, whistled.  "Will
you look at that..."
     "Let's get that generator out here," Sisko said.
     Together, they entered through the imploded hull and hefted the heavy machine slowly
out to the cargo bay floor.  It was hard to believe that collection of metal and wire was
responsible for the damaged runabout, a man's death, and had the potential to destroy a solar
system.  "Dax tells me the planet's finally stablized.  The tectonic plates have found a new
configuration, but the orbit wasn't affected in an appreciable way."
     "That's good news, sir."  O'Brien replied.  "So what happens next?"
     Sisko paused, thinking, we pick up where Jake left off.  "We document everything.  Get
complete scans of this thing, right down to replication detail if necessary.  That, and Defiant's
logs will go into my report to Starfleet."  He sighed, "I'm not sure what they'll do with it.  It's not
like we can prosecute the Jem 'Hadar."  He straightened from a slouch he hadn't realized he had,
"But knowledge is power, so they say.  The technology might be useful for something other than
destruction."
     "In a scrap yard, maybe."  O'Brien muttered.  "I'll start those scans."  He went off to get
his tools.


     Later, Dax, Sisko and Jake sat at Quark's Bar.  "Three synthales."  Sisko ordered.
     "Three?"  Jake asked.  
     "Sure.  I can drink two."  Sisko winked at his son, and was pleased to see the smile light
up his face.  "You've earned it, Jake."
     In a moment, Quark arrived with the three drinks and placed two in front of Sisko and
one in front of Dax.  Sisko pushed one of the glasses to his son.  Jake looked at it uncertainly,
then lifted it to his lips and sipped.  It was stronger than he expected and he coughed a bit, but it
tasted good.  
     Quark stepped over to Dax.  "Didn't you say you'd found someone for me?"  He asked as
he wiped the bar top.  
     "Yes, I did."  She said proudly.  "He's perfect.  He's strong, and brave, and recently
proved himself in battle.  Women will be clamoring to play dabo at his table."
     Quark looked disappointed.  "Commander, I really don't think Commander Worf is what
I had in mind.  He's a Klingon.  Klingon's intimidate people.  Intimidation just isn't good for
business."
     She smiled slyly.  "It isn't Worf."  She hadn't even asked Worf.  
     "Well, who else is strong, brave and proves himself in battle?"
     Still smiling, Dax nodded her head to the left.

     "Jake?!"  Quark spurted.  "You've got to be kidding!"
     "Quark, he's a celebrity right now.  He survived almost a week in a frozen wasteland and
lived to tell the tale.  And lots of people will want to hear it."
     "He's proved himself in battle?"  Quark was skeptical.
     Dax turned serious.  "Yes.  He battled a lot of things while trying to stay alive, Quark. 
Hunger, thirst, even death itself."
     "What does his father say?"
     Jake spoke for himself now.  "He said I could try it for a week.  Not full-time, or
anything.  Just until I get my strength back.  After that, we'll see."  Next to him, Sisko nodded in
agreement.
     Quark gave him the once over, acted reluctant to give in.  "Well, all right.  Right this
way."  He came out from behind the bar and showed Jake to the dabo wheel, telling the girl he
had put there to return to her previous job of wiping tables.  She pouted, but did so.   
     Dax and Sisko watched from the bar as Quark gave Jake a crash course in the operation
of a dabo wheel, and slowly players began migrating from other tables to his.  Sisko had quite a
son.

THE END