SPRAY

by

Gateroller

 

 

Kevin stopped to collect his usual Styrofoam cup of coffee on his way to work.  The sun was bright making him wince as the piercingly bright light reflected off the water of Puget Sound and lanced off a car hood straight into his face.

 

“Hey,” someone said to his right poking him in the arm, and turning Kevin lifted his hand to shield his eyes.

 

“Andy,” Kevin smiled, “Good to see you.”

 

“Even better to see you,” the cab driver breathed.

 

Kevin laughed.  The erstwhile cab driver seemed to pop up all over the place, and had become his regular ride when the boat designer needed to get home late from a club or restaurant.

 

“Need a ride?”

 

“I’m only two blocks from my office, Andy!”

 

“Was just checkin’,” the man laughed back.

 

Kevin waved goodbye and set off to go to work.  Sipping his hot coffee through the hole in the lid, Kevin thought about the taxi man, and why he was such a regular occurrence in the deaf man’s life.  Andy was a lot older than Kevin, probably twenty years older.  He was shorter than Kevin, stocky and strong, at least Kevin imagined he was strong; he just looked it.  He sported a manicured beard and moustache.  Kevin didn’t have a problem reading the man’s lips because his facial hair was well kept and under control.  Idly, Kevin toyed with the idea that Andy was perusing him as a sexual partner.  Kevin hadn’t had sex since he’d been at Mike’s place; it had been just a passionate interlude with Mike’s brother Charlie.

 

Kevin was in love though.  He was in love with a man who didn’t know, a man who was so unsure about his own sexuality that needed time to think about it.  Deciding to step back and give the man room to breath, Kevin had to wait for him to make his decision, if ever. 

 

If ever seemed to be Kevin’s mantra, and he was learning to be patient with it.  One day he hoped his man would come to the right conclusion, would seek him out and make the commitment, but until then, Kevin would have to wait.

 

-o-

 

Kevin was in a good job now, and as a yacht designer, earning good money.  He’d given up his own vessel some while ago, but now he was in a position to buy another.  Tempted to design his own and commission its construction, Kevin smiled.  This would be a good thing to do, something to take his mind and his libido off his longing and desire, and focus it on creating a sleek, fast waterborne plaything. 

 

He loved to feel the ocean spray on his skin as he sailed, it was exciting and stimulating, it made his body sing with excitement, and he didn’t need hearing to navigate a sleek vessel through the water.

 

Over the next three months Kevin set about designing his perfect sailboat.  He undertook all the work on his boat plans at home, in his apartment.  The floor of Kevin’s living room became an office, with sheets of drawings, lists of specifications, and small samples of hardwood and plywood spread across the floor. 

 

To an outsider the place looked rather chaotic, but Kevin was methodical in how he managed all his notes and papers.  A lot of his work was saved on his computer, but he still liked the texture and comfort of using paper.

 

Kevin’s social life had almost ground to a halt as he worked on his boat.  His work colleagues had given up asking him out to a restaurant, or to family barbecues.  Very occasionally, Kevin would venture out for a quiet dinner, to see a movie or just go for a walk.  He knew he was obsessing about his sailboat, so to try and counteract the increasingly tunnel vision of his current passion, he would make himself take a night off and go out.

 

-o-

 

This particular night, Kevin decided to go to a small Pasta and Fish bar, somewhere where he could melt into the background, enjoy some fresh, expertly cooked seafood, relax and think.

 

Thinking was what he did, thinking about his boat, about the details and the endless lists of specifications.  He’d decided to use aromatic cedar for all the storage lockers and closets, the scent was wonderful and it kept the horrible musty smell of damp coats and boots from taking over the cabins. 

 

As he waited for his order of shrimp and spaghetti marinara, Kevin liked to people watch.  He had chosen an outside table, on the edge of the main group of diners, looking one way he could see the activity in the restaurant and surveying the other, could see the darkening waters of the ocean beyond.  It was a nice place to be.

 

Tucking into his food, Kevin poured himself another glass of wine from the bottle placed on the red and white checked tablecloth.  He was in the mood to drink plenty.  When he saw movement at the end of the open-fronted bar, he noticed Andy the cab driver at the same time as Andy noticed him.

 

With a grin, Andy sidled over to Kevin’s table and sat down.

 

“On your own, Kevin?”

 

“It happens,” Kevin smiled as he sucked on a length of spaghetti.

 

“Doesn’t have to,” Andy replied.

 

Kevin looked at the cab driver and waited, he just knew Andy was going to issue an invitation.

 

“If you want some company, Kevin, I’d be very happy to oblige.”

 

It didn’t take long for Kevin to think about it.  Nodding, he smiled.  “What do you have in mind?”

 

“I can give you a disciplined and rewarding time if you’ll let me, Kevin,” Andy breathed, “If you want to be fucked by a bear that is.”

 

Swallowing hard and nearly choking, Kevin thought about the possibility and nodding enthusiastically, accepted Andy’s invitation. 

 

“I’ll meet you at Lindy’s Bar, eight thirty next Friday night.  We’ll go back to my place,” Andy smiled.  “Hope you like a little pain with your pleasure.”

 

-o-

 

Hope you like a little pain with your pleasure… 

 

Andy’s words had tormented Kevin all week.  Trying hard to concentrate on work, business meetings, and being at home with his boat design, Kevin wanted to scream with frustration.

 

At night in his bed, in the dark of his bedroom, Kevin tried to imagine what Andy had organised for him, and had to jerk off.  By the time Friday arrived, Kevin was a nervous wreck, jumpy and tense.

 

Lindy’s Bar was crowded, hot and abundant with the smells of grilled steaks and fried onions.  Kevin seated himself near the door, and toyed with a small glass of wine. 

 

Kevin like the idea of Andy’s pain and pleasure option, he hadn’t had sex with anyone for nearly five months and this was an offer he didn’t want to refuse.  If the man of his dreams showed up right here, right now, Kevin would choose his company over Andy’s, but as that possibility seemed more remote with each passing day, Kevin figured he needed to pay attention to his physical needs once in a while.

 

Kevin stared at the door until his eyes blurred.  He didn’t want to miss Andy’s entrance, and of course, he wouldn’t hear the taxi man’s greeting if he wasn’t watching for him.  At last, Andy came striding through the door, raising a hand in greeting as he made for the bar.  With a glass of foaming beer, Andy sat down at Kevin’s table and grinned.

 

Kevin looked at Andy with an intensity the driver recognised.  Smiling, he knew Kevin wanted hard ramming sex, needing to be taken and worked.  Andy was comfortable with that; it’s what he did.  Both men knew there was no emotional attachment required for what they were about to do, as long as there was respect and consideration their tryst would work for both of them.

 

Andy sipped his beer slowly, eyeing Kevin over the cold rim of the glass.  “You up for a bit of a work out, Kevin?”

 

“Sure, of course,” he said quietly.  Suddenly, he wondered if he was doing the right thing.  He didn’t have much experience of bears like Andy.

 

“You’re not scared are you?” the cabbie asked, “I mean you don’t need to be.  I’m not gonna tie you up and force a plastic dick up your ass…unless you want me to, of course.”

 

Blinking, Kevin coughed.  “What?” 

 

Andy laughed.  He enjoyed teasing his partners, and Kevin was just asking to be teased.  “C’mon, let’s go before you detonate!”

 

-o-

 

As they drove, Kevin watched the buildings go by, the stores, restaurants and offices.  His head snapped towards Andy when he felt the man’s hand stroking his inner thigh.

 

“Hope you’re gonna be nice and hard for me.  I like stiff cocks.  Gives me plenty to play with,” Andy said licking his lips.

 

“Andy, there’s something I need to say,” Kevin said quickly.

 

“Gowan,” Andy smiled and turned into a quiet street.  “What is it?”

 

“I…I don’t want you to blindfold me.  I need to be able to see your face, to know what you’re saying.  I don’t like being sightless, it makes me nervous.”

 

“Damn!” Andy laughed, “Was gonna gag and blindfold you.”  He had a wicked gleam in his eye.

 

“You were?”

 

“I’m kidding,” Andy said rolling his eyes.  “Look, you tell me what you like and what you don’t and we’ll take it from there.  I won’t do anything to take control from you, Kevin.  I’m not that sort of man.”

 

“Thanks, Andy.  I appreciate it,” Kevin said, at last relaxing into his seat.

 

A few minutes later, Andy was leading Kevin in through the front door of his house.

 

“Wanna drink?” Andy asked as he threw down his car keys on the kitchen counter.

 

“Do I need to?” Kevin asked still wondering what Andy planned to do to him.

 

Andy roared with laughter.  “No!  Just thought you might be a little nervous, but if you’re feeling okay, then so am I.”

 

“Andy?  I just need to know.  What have you got in mind?”

 

“I like leather and I like bondage.  I like hard, fast fucking, and I like a little pain with a lot of pleasure.  How about you?”

 

“I want to be taken, Andy.  I want to be able to hand over responsibility to someone else, but I don’t want to be abused or hurt, you know?”

 

“Sure, I know.  Don’t worry, Kevin, I’ll treat you right and you’ll be glad you let me.  Let me show you my…office.”

 

Walking along the hallway, Andy stopped at a door and pulled it open.  Flipping on the light, he descended a flight of wooden steps into the basement

 

“The bathroom’s in there,” Andy said, wrapping his knuckles on a wooden door.

 

Moving his gaze from the bathroom door, Kevin surveyed the rest of the small basement.  There was a large thick wooden bench at one end, and a row of interesting objects hanging from the adjacent wall.  Kevin noticed handcuffs, a leather whip coiled and shiny in the low light of a single dangling light bulb.  There were paddles, chains, and a willow withy. 

 

Looking more closely, Kevin also spotted some cardboard boxes packed with plastic covered trinkets, which he took to be nipple clamps, ball separators, dildos and butt plugs.  Everything looked hygienically clean and Kevin trusted Andy only ever used new vacuum packed items.

 

Just looking at all the objects placed around the basement had Kevin hardening.  There were some very interesting things on offer besides masks and blindfolds.  He didn’t want anything to do with those, he needed to be able to communicate and read whatever Andy was saying; his comfort zone depended on it.

 

Kevin couldn’t hear Andy undressing, and when he turned to look for him, saw Andy had stripped, and was wearing just a studded black leather belt around his waist, the ends of which were attached to a large metal ring that sat just below his navel.  There was another studded leather strap from the metal, sporting a D ring at the end, in which Andy’s dick and balls were situated.  From the D ring another strap nestled between his thighs and his buttocks, attaching to a ring at the base of his spine.

 

Andy bent his knees a little allowing the wide leather strap to press against his asshole as the thick edges spread his buttocks.  His cock hardened at the sensation and Kevin’s eyes widened as he watched it fill.

 

“Get your clothes off,” Andy ordered as he fondled his balls, heavy and protruding from the ring of metal.

 

Kevin did as he was told, stripping quickly and flinging his discarded clothes over a stool near the bathroom.

 

“Wow!  You’re a very big boy,” Andy commented as he stared at Kevin’s semi hard cock.

 

“So people tell me,” Kevin replied grinning.

 

“You need to name a code word, Kevin, something that isn’t connected to sex,” Andy explained.  “Use the word if you want to stop the action, then I’ll know you mean it.”

 

Frowning, Kevin thought for a moment.  Andy was offering him the option of opting out at any time if he didn’t like the way things were going.  Kevin knew he would be in control of what was happening to him, and could halt the session if he was unhappy, uncomfortable or just plain scared.

 

“Swordfish.”

 

“Swordfish?”

 

“That’s my word, Swordfish.  Will it do?”

 

“If you’re happy with it, Kevin, then so am I,” Andy grinned.

 

Andy’s smile faded as his eyes drifted to Kevin’s large cock and full pendulous balls.  With a lustful intake of breath, Andy’s fingertips brushed the warm flesh of Kevin’s penis.

 

“Think I’d like to lead you by the cock,” Andy said stroking himself.  “What do you say?”

 

“Whatever you think, Andy.”

 

Kevin was feeling more and more aroused at the way Andy was dressed and at his words. 

 

“Make yourself hard, Kevin,” Andy said as he rifled through one of the cardboard boxes.  “I think I have just the thing for you.”

 

Andy pulled two small leather hoops connected by a short leather strap from a plastic container.  The hoops had snap fasteners and there was a tiny ring on each of the leather circles.

 

Gently, Andy cupped Kevin’s balls in his hand and rolled the sensitive orbs between his thumb and index finger.  Kevin thrust his hips forward slowly, pushing his genitals into Andy’s grip.  Smiling, Andy flipped a snap fastener open and fed the loop of leather around the base of Kevin’s balls sac.  With a quick flick of his wrist, Andy refastened the loop and Kevin gasped.

 

The leather circle was a snug fit sending waves of sensation down into his balls.  Laying the connecting strap along the length of Kevin’s penis, Andy fit the second loop around Kevin’s cock just below the head.  Because Kevin’s penis was so big and long, the strap around his cock head pulled at the strap around his balls, sending pain to mix with the pleasure along his shaft and behind his balls.

 

Carefully, Andy took a long leash of the same soft black leather and connected the hook at the end to the small ring.  Smiling, he gathered up the slack of the leash pulling at Kevin’s cock and balls.  Gasping again, Kevin was forced to take a step forward to avoid his pleasure becoming just pain.

 

“Ever been led by your dick before?” Andy asked as he walked slowly around the basement, Kevin allowing himself to be towed by the leash. 

 

“No,” Kevin breathed, “but I could get used to it.”

 

“Good,” Andy replied and tugged a little harder.

 

“Fuck!” Kevin choked, and stretched his stride to ease the tension on the leash.

 

All the while Andy paraded Kevin around his basement Kevin’s dick was hardening more and more and with each expansion of his genitals the leather bindings became tighter.  Kevin had never appreciated how good such a little device could feel, and he wanted to be fucked.  He needed to be filled and pounded. 

 

“Sit on the bench, and let your knees dangle over the edge,” Andy said pulling on the leash and moving Kevin to the thick wooden worktable.

 

With Kevin now comfortable on the bench, Andy unfastened the cock leash and instantly, Kevin rubbed his erection to settle the sensations from the leather bindings.

 

“Lean back, and show me what you’ve got,” Andy rasped.

 

Quirking a smile, Kevin lay on his back and lifted his heels to rest on the edge of the bench, his knees bent.

 

Andy pushed at Kevin’s knees and encouraged him to spread his thighs.  “Nice,” was his only comment though it was laced with an appreciative tone.

 

Cupping Kevin’s balls, Andy palmed them and then pulled gently, eliciting a groan from his partner.  Grinning, his eyes focused on the puckered flesh of Kevin’s asshole.

 

“Show me more,” he insisted readjusting his cock and balls still held in the D ring of his harness.

 

Kevin rocked his hips upwards and held his forearms under his knees, which had the effect of showing and stretching his ass.  Andy purred his approval and he stared at the darker skin around Kevin’s entrance.  He was going to enjoy fucking Kevin, something he’d wanted to do for a very long time.

 

Reaching for the lubricating gel Andy coated his fingers and went to work.  Rather than sliding inside Kevin’s body straight away, Andy wanted to stimulate his partner and have him begging for further attention, so with that in mind, Andy rubbed Kevin’s asshole, making rapid and repeatedly teasing movements without actually penetrating him.

 

Andy’s thorough contact had Kevin rocking his hips, the desire to be penetrated growing fast.  Reaching out, Andy shoved his hands under Kevin’s calf muscles and laid Kevin’s legs over his shoulders, then wrapped a forearm around Kevin’s thighs and held him close.

 

“Gonna fuck ya good, Kevin.”

 

Pressing his still lubricated fingers against Kevin’s ass, Andy worked them into his partner’s body, stretching and preparing him for penetration.  Kevin let out a long, shaky moan as Andy fingered him, feeling the excitement burn through his body.  This was what he needed, and he was grateful Andy understood that.

 

When Kevin felt the head of Andy’s cock pushing against his asshole, he levered himself closer to the edge of the bench.  Taking the hint, Andy gripped his penis and breached Kevin’s body, sliding in to fill his ass.

 

Feeling full, Kevin groaned loudly, and as Andy began to move his hips, Kevin began to pant eagerly, the slap of flesh on flesh orchestrating his own harsh breathing.

 

Holding onto Kevin’s thighs, Andy pounded into his body, perspiration spattering across the chests of both men.  If the bench hadn’t been fixed to the wall and floor, Andy would have moved it and Kevin across the basement. 

 

Andy was in full flow now, his hips moving fast and hard.  His body was muscled, strong and stocky, his flesh covered in black hair.  Andy used his weight to push heavily against Kevin’s ass, the D ring of his harness impacting on Kevin’s perineum and serving to stimulate him even more.

 

Kevin was close to coming, and stroked himself as Andy shafted him.  Looking for a lead, Kevin wasn’t sure if Andy was just gasping for air or whether he was telling him to come.  Confused for a moment, Kevin stared at Andy’s lips trying to discern his meaning.  It was hard to make out, if indeed Andy was uttering words.  Then Kevin remembered he was in control.  Deciding he was ready to come, he blurted out his intention to Andy and continued to stroke his aching cock.

 

Angling his hips, Andy made contact with Kevin’s prostate, and the flare of intense pleasure sent Kevin over the edge, to spill his semen in white ribbons across his chest.  With his balls pulsing and cock throbbing, Kevin yelled out his pleasure leaving Andy in no doubt he had orgasmed.

 

Now Andy could concentrate on his own satisfaction, and with a series of short rapid thrusts, grunted as he came. 

 

Letting go of his grip on Kevin’s thighs, Andy slipped out of Kevin’s asshole and stepped back panting for breath.

 

Swinging his legs up and on to the bench, Kevin stretched out, sated and gasping.

 

“Don’t get too comfortable,” Andy muttered and then realised with Kevin’s eyes shut, he wouldn’t hear what the taxi driver was saying.  He poked Kevin in the leg.  “Don’t go to sleep!”

 

“Oh, sorry,” Kevin said and dragged himself upright.  “Thanks, Andy,” he smiled.  “You did me a real favour.”

 

“The feeling’s mutual, my friend,” Andy nodded with satisfaction.

 

-o-

 

For the next few weeks, Kevin spent his free time working on his boat specifications until one morning he was confronted by his boss.

 

“I understand you have designed a sailing boat, Kevin,” Peter Mayfield said as he loomed over Kevin’s office desk.

 

“I…err, yes, that’s right.  I have to say though I’ve done all the work in my spare time.  I haven’t used any of the company’s resources, sir, not any.”

 

“So I understand, although you did leave some documents here last night, including a CD.”

 

Suddenly embarrassed, Kevin thought he could see where this conversation was leading.  He’d been so distracted with the prospect of another visit to Andy’s place that he’d left everything at work by mistake the night before.  He’d intended to visit the boat yard, but when the builder had put him off, the fortunate timing of a text message from Andy had captured his libido and sent his concentration flying out of the window.  

 

“I had them for the boat builder, but I…something came up at the last minute and I forgot to take my stuff with me.  I’m really sorry, Mr. Mayfield, I meant nothing by it.”

 

Kevin looked at the stern expression of his employer and expected to be fired at any moment.  It wasn’t the done thing to be found with months of work for the design of a new day sailor, the implication being he’d taken personal time from his employer to develop the project.

 

“I took the liberty of glancing at your files,” Mayfield went on.  “What I saw was very interesting.”

 

“Thank you, I think.  Um…if I could just explain, the work is all my own and I’ve kept that separate from my job.  It’s just that I was on my way to the yard and I got a message and I thought…I got distracted and left the files here by mistake…and…I didn’t…well…”

 

By now Kevin was stumbling over his words and the more he tried to explain the worse things sounded.

 

“I’d like to take a closer look at your design and specifications, Kevin.” 

 

Kevin couldn’t hear the tone in Mayfield’s voice, but judging by his stern and unyielding expression, Kevin was in trouble.

 

Hesitating for a moment, Kevin had no choice but to talk through his plans with the chief executive of Chester Marine.  Meekly, Kevin gathered up all his papers, files and the CD and followed Mayfield into his office, closing the door behind him.  He reckoned he probably had about thirty minutes of employment left before he was out on his ear.

 

-o-

 

Several hours later, and with Kevin’s papers spread out over Mayfield’s large mahogany desk, the executive was nodding enthusiastically.

 

“I’m impressed, Kevin.  You have very high-end specs, and the idea of a choice of keels for shallow offshore navigation or deep-water sailing is a good idea, it makes sense.  Have you thought about the retail cost of this design?”

 

Shaking his head, Kevin went on to talk about the development costs and his very tight bank loan budget.  Explaining where he thought the expense was worth it a discussion ensued as to the boat’s possible marketing as a commercial venture. 

 

As far as Kevin was concerned, the conversation was just an intellectual exercise; he had no thought that Mayfield might be interested in taking on the design as a business undertaking.

 

At last, Mayfield got to his feet.  “For someone who’s deaf, your design is very good.”

 

Frowning, Kevin raised his eyebrows.  “My design is very good, whatever, Mr. Mayfield.  The ability to hear or not has nothing to do with it.”

 

How many times had Kevin been forced to question assumptions about his deafness?  His mother had taught him to challenge, his father encouraged him not to rock the boat.  Kevin had sided with his mother’s take on things, and though from time to time he managed to alienate people, he’d also made friends as well.

 

For a moment Mayfield glared at the younger man, and then threw back his head and laughed.  “You’re right!  I apologise.  Your boat is the product of a very good designer!”

 

Kevin acknowledged Mayfield’s compliment with a broad smile.  He’d made another friend.

 

-o-

 

By the time Kevin got back to his apartment that night, he and Chester Marine had come to an agreement.  The company would take on the expense of developing the prototype sailboat, and make a very large payment to Kevin for the design.  When Mayfield had asked him what he was going to call the boat, Kevin replied, “The Swordfish,” and by the close of business that day, lawyers had been instructed to draw up a contract stating that the new boat line would be called the Chester Marine McKenzie Swordfish.

 

Kevin was too flushed and excited to think about food, but instead poured himself a very generous glass or two of wine.  He wanted to tell someone of his good fortune.  His parents were out of the country and he just wanted an immediate response from someone – anyone. 

 

Picking up his cell he thought of text messaging, but who?  Then he thought using email would be a better idea, he could include much more detail than using the fiddly little keys of a cell phone.

 

Opening up his laptop, Kevin stared at the blank email page.  Who was he going to write to?

 

With a decisive nod, Kevin addressed his email to Mike Grigson.  He hadn’t meant to, but there was no one else he’d rather communicate his news to than Mike.

 

Hey.  I’ve got some amazing news.  My boss was so impressed with my work he gave me a special project all of my own.  I’m now the development manager for the Swordfish sailboat!

 

How are you?  Was wondering how you and Margaret were doing.  Let me know.

 

Kevin

 

Now that he’d sent his message, Kevin had time to think about food.  Staring at the meagre contents of his freezer, and pulling out a packet of frozen raw prawns, Kevin set about making a pasta dinner with the prawns, some cream, and herbs accompanied by yet another glass of wine.

 

-o-

 

Yawning, Kevin was tired, and taking one last look at his email account, he thought he’d better go to bed.  When he saw a reply from Mike he was suddenly wide-awake. 

 

“Hey, Kevin.  Congratulations on your news.  Well done! 

 

Things here are very quiet.  Margaret left me just after New Years.  It was a difficult separation, full of yelling and recriminations.  She accused me of being an emotional pygmy and I think she was probably right.  There were lots of reasons why we split, one of them being my pathetic inability to be honest about my feelings.

 

Still, I’m here now, in the house alone.  There are a lot of arrangements to be made about the divorce, and of course, her settlement.  I’ll probably have to sell the place to pay for everything.  I was thinking I might move to Seattle.  What do you think?  Is it a good place to be?

 

Mike

 

Smiling, Kevin replied immediately.

 

I’m sorry you’ve had such a hard time, but maybe your divorce is a good thing. 

 

Seattle is a very good place to be, I like it immensely.  There are lots of excellent bars and seafood restaurants here.  You’d like it!

 

If you want to talk, or come for a visit I’d be more than happy to see you.

 

Kev

 

Yes, Kevin would be more than happy to see Mike, in fact more than he dared to admit, but he would have to wait...

 

-o-

 

Over the next few months, the development of the Swordfish yacht gathered pace.  Peter Mayfield wanted the prototype ready for the Seattle Boat Show at the end of January.  It was now November and not the best time of year for sea trials, but nevertheless, Kevin was determined to sail his boat no matter what the conditions.

 

He and Mike emailed each other occasionally but Mike still remained holed up in Lakewood.  Kevin guessed the man was licking his wounds, and counting what cash he had left after Margaret sued for divorce.  Kevin was glad Mike had managed to hold on to his house, even though he couldn’t really afford to run it.  Kevin learned that Mike’s brother Charlie had visited to help him refit the bathroom, and with a pang of remembered lust, Kevin wished, just for a moment, he could have seen Charlie again 

 

Wiping the freezing cold rain and sea spray from his face, Kevin steered the boat to come about, ducking as the boom swept over him.  The bow of the yacht carved through the choppy dark ocean as Kevin sailed towards Chester Marine’s boat yard and slipway.  Bobbing his head through the hatch, Peter Mayfield gave Kevin the thumbs up and grinned broadly.  The Swordfish had passed muster, and Chester’s CEO was satisfied the boat would be a top seller.

 

-o-

 

Christmas Eve and Kevin was in the office – early.  There’d been a blip in the plans for the boat show, and Kevin was there to put it right.  He hoped to get through and leave work as soon as humanly possible.  He’d done no shopping whatsoever and he had nothing in for the holidays.  Not that it really mattered that much, he’d be on his own.  There were no guests to cater for, and no gifts to buy.  He just needed enough food for a couple of days, and TV dinners would do, though they’d be his last resort.

 

By the time Kevin entered his apartment building it was four thirty five.  The day was dark and cold and he was glad to be in the warmth and security of his own place.  With the coffee filtering, and some awful Christmas movie on the tube, Kevin slumped onto the sofa with a bag of popcorn in his hand.  Hauling his feet up on the coffee table, he groaned.  The white flashing light on the wall above the TV told him someone was at the door.

 

He had no idea who the heck could want him at nearly five o’clock on Christmas Eve, but he had no choice, he’d have to answer it.

 

When he opened the door he couldn’t believe who was standing there – it was Mike!

 

“Hey!”

 

“Hey yourself, I figured if you weren’t gonna come to my place for the holidays, I’d have to come to you.  How ya doin’?”

 

“Mike?  What the?”

 

“Hey, c’mon, I know you’re deaf, but you have a bigger vocabulary than what the!”

 

With that Mike just walked into Kevin’s apartment dragging a very large fir tree in his wake.  Shucking off his fully stuffed backpack and dropping it on the floor, he handed Kevin the large red metal tree stand.

 

“Where do you want it?”

 

Speechless, all Kevin could do was hold his hands out and embrace his friend when he stepped into his arms.  “It’s good to see you,” he breathed, still in shock at Mike’s surprise visit.

 

Before he closed the door Kevin stepped out into the hallway and glanced up and down its quiet polished length.  There was a trail of tree debris including pine needles, brown needles and a few little stringy roots and earth.  Rushing back inside, he rifled through the hall closet and pulled out a broom, with which he swept the hallway and gathered the bits and pieces into a heap on his side of the door.

 

“You do realise my neighbours will object to the mess you left outside.”

 

“You’ve just cleaned it up, what’s there to object about?”

 

Laughing, Kevin was happy to see Mike looking so…well, happy.  The drawn, grey looking man he’d seen a year before was gone, and his friend was positively glowing with health and well-being.

 

“Looks like divorce agrees with you,” Kevin commented as he took Mike’s coat and picked up his very heavy backpack from the middle of the floor.

 

“Maybe.  It depends,” Mike smiled enigmatically.

 

When the doorbell went again, Mike opened it as Kevin saw the flashing light.  Framed in the doorway were two delivery guys, carrying several boxes and bags.

 

“In here,” Mike said indicating Kevin’s living room. 

 

When the men had gone with a fat Christmas tip, Mike surveyed the packages with a grin.

 

“What the?” Kevin said, wide eyed at the delivery.

 

“Can’t you say anything besides what the?” Mike laughed sorting through the supplies.

 

“What the hell is going on, Mike?” Kevin asked, hands on hips and feeling slightly perturbed at this apparent invasion of his apartment.

 

Holding Kevin’s upper arms, Mike’s face took on a serious expression.  “I figured you would be so busy with your boat that you wouldn’t have much of a chance to even think about the holidays, so I took the liberty of bringing the holidays to you, Kev.”

 

The place on Kevin’s arms, where Mike was holding them, burned.  Kevin’s flesh burned with the contact and awkwardly he had to pull away.  “Thanks, Mike.  I appreciate it,” he said picking up some of the packages and taking them into the kitchen.

 

“Wanna hand? 

 

Surprised, Kevin hadn’t expected Mike to be standing behind him.

 

“I’m guessing you might have found the tree and chopped it down, but you’re gonna need help getting it upright again,” Kevin smiled waving his hand in the general direction of the large green tufted fir.

 

With some effort and a lot of laughter, Kevin and Mike managed to get the tree situated, and with some thread, decorated it with strings of popcorn, that is the popcorn they didn’t eat while threading it. 

 

The men settled on the sofa and drank copious glasses of wine. 

 

“This is great,” Kevin grinned, “thanks for everything.”  With that he patted Mike’s thigh.

 

Mike stared at Kevin’s hand on his leg, and slowly tracked his eyes up the length of Kevin’s arm to his shoulder, and finally his face.

 

Kevin took his hand away, holding it up in apology.  “Sorry.  I didn’t mean anything by it.  It was just a friends-type gesture, because you know, we’re friends.  I mean I know I’m gay and I know you’re straight, so don’t misunderstand…I wasn’t coming on to you or anything…I was just showing you how great this is.”

 

“Kevin, I understand, and you’re rambling.”

 

“Me?  I’m not rambling,” Kevin slurred.

 

“You are.”

 

“Am not.”

 

“Give it up, Kevin, I can do this for as long as you can!”

 

“Okay, Mike, I give up.”  Yawning, Kevin struggled to get up.  “Coffee?”

 

“Sure, why not.”

 

Mike stayed where he was and watched Kevin sidle to the kitchen.  Snorting, he laughed when Kevin swayed, bouncing gently off the doorframe as he entered the kitchen.  Mike liked Kevin a lot.

 

-o-

 

Holding their coffees, the men sat together quietly as they slowly sobered up.  Mike began to nod off again until Kevin jumped up.  “I turned the guest room into an office!  There isn’t even a bed!”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll sleep on the sofa, it’s not a problem.”

 

“No, you should take my bed, I’ll take the sofa.  It’s only fair, you did bring the tree.”

 

“Kevin!  I’ll be just fine.”

 

“As long as you take my bed.  I’d better put on some clean sheets though, I’ll be back in a minute.”

 

Getting up yet again, Kevin staggered to his room to strip the bed and lay out fresh linen.  Mike followed him and grabbed his arm.

 

“Don’t, please.  I don’t want you to do this,” Mike insisted.  “I descended on you without warning.  I’ll be just fine on the sofa.”

 

It was Kevin’s turn to stare at Mike’s hand on him.  When he looked up, Mike’s eyes were on his.  “Mike?”

 

“I…I need to explain, about Margaret.”

 

“You don’t have to explain anything, Mike.  Marriages end, divorces happen.”

 

“No, you need to understand why it happened,” Mike went on.  Sitting down on the edge of Kevin’s bed, he needed to tell Kevin everything.

 

“It started a while back.  Our marriage had always been a little…brittle.  One night, late, I couldn’t sleep and ended up watching TV.  I discovered a gay porn channel, and found I enjoyed seeing what men did with men.  I tried to hide it, you know, from my wife.  I didn’t think she’d understand, so I kept quiet about it.  Anyway, one night she found me watching, and that’s when the problems really started.”

 

“I don’t understand why Margaret would have taken such exception to you doing a little late night channel hopping, Mike.”

 

“I wasn’t channel hopping, I was jerking off.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Oh indeed.  She accused me of being gay, of marrying her under false pretences.  That wasn’t the case of course, it was never the case until…until…”

 

“Until what, Mike?”  Kevin was concerned.  His friend’s expression was telling him so much about the anguish he must have gone through.

 

“She hated gays, you know.  That’s why she never liked Charlie.  She doesn’t like imperfection of any kind, which is why she didn’t like herself either.  She couldn’t have children, something to do with her fallopian tubes.  To her, I was the worst kind of imperfection.  I’d started as a straight guy, as her husband, and somehow ended up as less than a man.”

 

“I’m sorry, Mike.  I never realised.”

 

“Well you wouldn’t, would you?  I’ve never told anyone else.  I suspected I was probably gay years ago, but I just ignored it.  After all, Charlie was gay enough for both of us!”

 

“You do know our sexuality isn’t fixed, you do realise we can change it at any time.  It’s a movable feast, Mike!”

 

“I know about all that stuff, Charlie said the same thing.  Hell, I’ve been thinking about it for a while now.  I just wasn’t strong enough to make any kind of decision until Margaret made it for me.  When you and Charlie were…together in the hot tub, I saw you, and Margaret saw me watching.  She flipped, and so did I.”

 

“What do you mean, so did you?” Kevin asked.

 

“When I saw you with Charlie, I knew.  I knew I wanted to be with a man, and I wanted to be with…”

 

“Who?” Kevin asked confused but hopeful.

 

“Don’t you get it?  Don’t you know how I feel about you?” Mike said, and his voice faltered, not that Kevin could hear it.

 

“Mike, you’re confused, hurting and dealing with some pretty significant changes in your life.  You’re vulnerable, and I won’t take advantage of that.”

 

“Kevin, don’t patronise me.  I’ve had six years to think about this.  I’ve denied it for five, and for the last twelve months I’ve been considering my decision very carefully.  I’m sorry it’s taken so long, Kevin, but I know my own mind.  I’ve wanted you for years now, I just never had the courage to come out and say it, so I’m saying it now.”

 

Kevin stared at Mike with mixed feelings.  He’d waited a year for Mike to make his confession, waited and hoped, and now it had happened he wasn’t sure how to react, stupid he knew, but there it was. 

 

For all the times he’d let Andy fuck him boneless, it was always Mike he wanted.  He’d imagined making love to Mike, being gentle and loving with him, nurturing his newfound preference for another man.  Now the opportunity had presented itself, Kevin couldn’t act on it.  He couldn’t exploit Mike’s situation, and even though he knew the man had thought about things, he wasn’t convinced that Mike really understood what he was taking on. 

 

“You’re not sure are you?  You don’t think I’m ready, but I am, Kevin, more ready than you’ll ever imagine.  I know I’m older than you, and with no experience or knowledge I could be about to embark on something I’m likely to regret, but if I don’t commit myself to the change I want in my life, I’ll never know.”

 

“Mike, I understand what you’re saying, but…”

 

“Kevin, just trust me,” Mike sighed, and looking at Kevin’s rumpled bed, patted the mattress.  “Which side do you sleep on?”

 

“What?”

 

“Come on, Kev, you’re not going to be coy are you?  Thought that was supposed to be the other way around, you know, me being coy and you breaking down my barriers.”

 

Laughing, Mike rested his hand on Kevin’s leg, and pointedly didn’t remove it.  It was the first time he’d touched another man with one thing on his mind, and he found it incredibly exciting, made all the more so because there was nothing to stop him, except Kevin himself.

 

Falling backwards, Mike lay on his back looking up at a surprised Kevin.  “Kiss me,” he whispered.

 

At last for Kevin, the waiting was over.  Sure that Mike was the man for him, he leaned down to capture the pair of lips he had dreamed about for so long.  He wasn’t disappointed…

 

 

The End

 

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