Title: Rescue Me!
Author: Cherubino
Date:
Email: [email protected]
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Jack/Daniel
Category: Humor
Summary: Jack and Daniel get involved in costume
drama….
Notes: My
thanks to Gateroller for convincing me to write this and for her beta
efforts!
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Jack’s phone hissed and
crackled and he barely recognized Carter’s voice. The roar of the ice rink didn’t help the
matters any and the colonel barely understood what she was talking about. So when Daniel poked his nose from under
umpteen sweaters and jackets he usually wore to accompany Jack to the hockey
game and asked what the call was about Jack waved at him dismissively, “Don’t
worry about it, Danny, somethin’ about a fundraiser and the costumes we are
supposed to wear.”
“Costumes? What
costumes? Jaaaack?” Daniel’s plaintive tone made
O’Neill laugh.
“I said don’t worry about
it, Danny. It’s to raise money for the
kids’ hospital and we’re supposed to show up in costumes and entertain the
crowd.”
“Jack, I don’t like being in
costume, I hate all those itchy dusty materials that seem to be mandatory to
the costume-making industry. I hate looking silly and…” He was interrupted by Jack’s raised hand.
“Ack,
Danny, calm down. From what Carter is
saying you are not going to look silly in the costume, I promise. I, on the other hand am so not sure I should
be doing this…” Jack shook his head
ruefully. But he convinced himself that
for the sake of the children… and seeing Daniel in that costume he would do it.
Yes, he absolutely would. Definitely. Surely. Oh fer crying out loud!
* * *
Major Samantha Carter was
frantic. The proceedings were about to
begin and the colonel and Daniel were nowhere in sight. She motioned to Teal’c to follow her and went
for yet another sweep of the base. She
knew it, she just knew that the colonel would chicken out and Daniel wouldn’t
be far behind. The checkpoint guard
confirmed that neither man had left
“Wha…?” A long arm shot out of the supply closet and
pulled her in with amazing speed.
Teal’c, seeing this, followed her and found himself
looking at his commanding officer and the team’s archaeologist in very strange
attire.
Both Daniel Jackson and
Colonel Jack O’Neill wore long trench coats and were barefoot – and actually
bare-legged. When Daniel let go of the
garment to adjust his glasses the coat opened up and both Teal’c and Sam could
see that with the exception of a scrap of sapphire-blue silk on his groin and a
matching bow-tie he was bare-everything…. And by the looks of it so was the
colonel….
Jack and Daniel looked no
less startled then Sam. “Carter?” Jack croaked, letting go of his trench coat
and exposing a red scrap of silk over his groin and a red bow-tie. “Carter, why are Mickey Mouse and Snow White
greeting people in the mess hall and why are you and T-man here looking like
giant mice?” Sam glanced at her blue
jumpsuit and goggles and self-consciously adjusted her mouse ears and whiskered
nose.
Before she was able
to answer Teal’c raised his eyebrow – slightly obstructed by leather cap and
goggles -- and said, “Please refrain from any further comments on my attire,
O’Neill. I find it highly un-dignifying as it is to pose as an oversized rodent
and screaming 'cheese!' every time I see a tray with fermented and pressed
bovine lactose”.
Daniel threw his arms in the
air and yelled, “Will someone PLEASE explain to me why am I dressed like a male
stripper at a kiddie party?” That action sent the trench coat flying
off. Jack tried to help Daniel and cover
him up but the archaeologist angrily pushed him off and Jack’s coat caught on
the corner of the shelf leaving the other man uncovered as well. Sam and Teal’c got an eyeful of almost-naked
Colonel and their archaeologist.
And what a view it was. As they glimpsed before, the men wore only
the scantiest of underwear and bow-ties.
Now it was definite that the undergarments were actually g-strings. Both men had oiled their bodies with the
bronze oil that performers usually use to enhance the look of their skin and
muscles – and the effect was simply stunning.
Jack’s silver hair and dark
smoldering eyes combined with a lean wiry physique gave him the look of lithe
grace and hidden danger. For a second
Sam imagined the red silk to be a ragged leather loin cloth and gulped audibly,
moving her eyes to Daniel. Oy, that
didn’t help her any. Daniel had his arms
folded across his chest and despite having seen him in the gym countless times
she was awed by his musculature. No one
in their right minds would call this man a geek. His biceps rippled, and when he turned
towards Sam she saw the movement of his thigh and stomach muscles under the
glowing skin.
“Ah, Sam?” Daniel’s very
annoyed voice brought her out of her reverie.
“I am still waiting to find out why you asked us to dress like that when
it’s supposed to be a DISNEY costume party?”
Sam’s eyes almost popped out
of her head and then she started laughing.
She slapped her thighs and giggled and guffawed until she was
crying. Finally Jack lost the last
vestiges of his patience and yelled, “Snap to, Airman!” Unfortunately the fact that he was almost
naked took away the full effect of his command and it took Carter another
minute or two to calm down. Finally she
wiped her face, adjusted the mouse nose and, taking a deep breath she spoke.
“Colonel, when I called you
last week to tell you about this fundraiser, you couldn’t hear me very well,
could you?” She cocked her head and looked at Jack expectantly.
“Well, ah, we were at the
game so it was kinda loud so…..” Jack
suddenly realized where she was going with her explanation and he knew he was
in trouble.
“I’ll take it as a ‘no’ sir.
Well, what I was *trying* to tell you was that it was a Disney-themed costume
party and I planned for the four of us to go as the Rescue Rangers. You know?
Chip and Dale? Gadget and
“You tellin’
me we were supposed to be Chip and Dale, not Chippendale? Oh
fer crying out loud!” O’Neill
slid down the wall and sat on the concrete floor with a loud plop – and
immediately jumped up as the cold material made contact with his bare butt. “Ow, dammit!”
“Jaaaaaaaaaaack!” The tone of Daniel’s voice let
Jack know that he was in deep, deep doo-doo.
“I am sorry, Danny, the
connection was bad and the team was about to score so I wasn’t really…. “ The look in Daniel’s eyes told him to shut up and that
this would be discussed later.
Teal’c, up until now a
silent observer, stepped up and handed Jack a large duffle bag. “It is good that MajorCarter planned for a
possible occurrence such as this and prepared your costumes for you,
O’Neill. I suggest that you refrain from
further argument and change promptly as the festivities are about to
begin.” Listening to the voice of reason
Jack and Daniel put on their costumes and with a few strokes of face paint they
were transformed into the famous chipmunks.
The rest of the evening went
without a hitch. So much so that the
four members of SG-1 won the best group costume prize and Jack completely
relaxed thinking that he was out of hot water.
Daniel allowed him to keep
that illusion up until the two of them returned to Jack’s home. As soon as the
door closed behind him, Daniel grabbed Jack and spun him around, pressing him
hard into the hallway wall.
“Danny?” Jack inquired, slightly worried and very aroused.
“Did you think I was just
going to let this go, Jack?” Daniel’s
voice was husky and throaty and Jack’s breath hitched.
“N-no, Danny, I….”
“Good. Because you see, I
have this problem – a big problem – and I think I need rescuing. Can you rescue me, Ranger?” Daniel guided Jack’s hand to his crotch and
Jack felt the bulge of his erection.
“Oh yes, this indeed is a
huge problem. You are definitely in need of rescuing.” Snort! With that Jack dropped to his knees
and unzipped Daniel’s jeans. He was
greeted by his lover’s cock straining against its blue silk confines. Since Carter didn’t include underwear with
the costumes she prepared for them, they had to make do with the g-strings
they’d worn originally.
So Jack took the silk cloth
in his teeth and pulled it down, revealing Daniel’s erection. He made a tentative swipe with his tongue,
then another and another, making Daniel groan and then without any warning he
swallowed him to the root. The
archaeologist thrummed with pleasure. He
held on to Jack’s bobbing head, threading his fingers through silver strands,
chanting his lover’s name until he came with a loud shout. He folded down, boneless, and would have
fallen if Jack hadn’t caught him in his arms.
Few seconds later Daniel
regained his composure and untangled himself from his lover. He stood and pulled his partner up next to
him. “Jack, I want you in the bedroom
and undressed in three minutes. Take
everything off – except the g-string.”
“I take it that my rescue
mission is not accomplished yet?” Jack’s
tone was light but his eyes were burning with lust.
“Oh no, my Ranger, your
mission has only just began.”
“Sweet!” Jack turned
and started moving in the direction of the bedroom. He was taking his clothes off as he went so
by the time he approached the door he had nothing on except his scarlet-red
thong. Opening the doors with a flourish
he threw himself onto the bed and crawled up a little, lifting his butt in the
air and wiggling it at Daniel. Turning,
he called out, “C’mon, Danny, your rescue awaits!”
Daniel was on him in a
flash, clothes flying in all directions.
His need to touch was overwhelming, his hands roamed all over Jack’s
body, stroking, caressing, swiping over his lover’s back and flanks, pinching
his nipples, squeezing his butt cheeks.
He palmed Jack’s cock through the silk material and Jack let out an
appreciative moan, rubbing himself against Daniel’s renewed erection.
“C’mon Danny, you want it, I
want it, God I want it bad! C’mon, c’mon, do it!” Jack was becoming frantic and
suddenly he felt the coldness of lube against his opening. One finger, two, three met no resistance and
finally Daniel penetrated him, filling him with his length and Jack screamed
his pleasure at being possessed.
Daniel kept stroking Jack’s
cock and the friction combined with the slide of silk against his heated skin
and rhythmic pounding in his ass created incredible sensations in Jack’s body
and soon he climaxed, shouting Daniel’s name.
His contracting muscled ripped the second orgasm from Daniel and the
lovers collapsed in a heap.
When the Earth stopped
moving and the angels finished their song Daniel lifted his head and looked at
Jack. “Tell me, please – how in the
world could you make such a mistake, Jack?”
“What can I say, Danny – the
connection was lousy and I was trying to see what was happening on the ice so
all I heard was Chippendale. Who knew
that she meant Chip and Dale?” Jack put on his best earnest expression but something
in his eyes told Daniel that he would never know the whole truth. But he didn’t care – after all, he was well
and truly…rescued.
The End.