FELGER’S FAWNING FRANKENSTEIN
Sammiedoll and Teal’cdoll
were taking the rubber babies for a walk, and Jackdoll and Dannydoll followed
along behind. Sammiedoll and Teal’cdoll
had managed to lash together six strollers each to accommodate their twelve
unruly, and very noisy tiny offspring.
Jackdoll had insisted he and
Dannydoll cover their six, well actually it was their fourteen. He’d also ordered Felgerdoll back to his dog
house, having grounded him for a month for suggesting that Sammiedoll and Teal’cdoll
could fasten yellow dusters in front of the two lines of strollers and push the
whole lot along to clean Jay Felger’s floor.
As Jackdoll and Dannydoll
ambled quietly behind their team-mates, Jackdoll wondered whether he should
post a warning sign saying ‘wide load’.
Sammiedoll would probably take offence if he did that; she was very
sensitive about her pointy and roundy bits.
Dannydoll walked alongside his loverdoll holding his crystal skull. He had no reason for bringing it except he
thought he’d give it an airing.
While they walked, Jackdoll
dropped his hand and rested it on Dannydoll’s butt, making Dannydoll grin.
He was glad Jackdoll had
suggested they pack the UHU adhesive putty dicks in the cold box. If they got the chance they’d be dolly
dicking at the first possible and private opportunity.
“We’re going to walk the
rubber babies to the play park, sir,” Sammiedoll announced as she and
Teal’cdoll veered off towards Jay Felger’s tipped up box of Lego pieces,
cardboard tubes and wooden shapes.
Grinning wickedly, Jackdoll
grabbed Dannydoll and planted a hot dolly kiss on his little pouty lips. “Oh Goddoll, Jackdoll!” Dannydoll panted,
“You make my dolly legs go weak.”
“So what do you wanna do
now?” Jackdoll asked suggestively.
“We could meander.”
“Meander?”
“You know, …me and
err…”
“Dannydoll, you make my
putty dick so hard,” breathed Jackdoll as he reached for the cold box.
For the next few minutes
Jackdoll and Dannydoll took it in turns to push their putty dicks into each
other’s tight vinyl asses, as they grunted and rasped their way to completion.
“That was amazing,
Dannydoll,” Jackdoll sighed, “You’re just so damned good at this.”
“Why thank you, Jackdoll,”
grinned Dannydoll, a flush of pride on his smooth plastic cheeks. His face was rosy too.
-o-
After walking for a while,
Jackdoll and Dannydoll rounded a corner in Jay Felger’s living room and came up
to a large cardboard box, in dolly terms tall enough to be a tower, and strong
enough to be a fortress.
“Well, well, well,” Jackdoll
muttered, “What have we here?”
The SG1dolls shrank back
behind a chair leg and studied the scene.
There was only one Jaffadoll on duty next to the cardboard front door,
with no sign of any other guarddolls.
“Whose forehead symbol do
you think it is, Dannydoll?” Jackdoll asked as he shouldered his beautifully
crafted miniature P90, fitting it into his U-shaped grip. He was preparing himself for a hostile
encounter.
Dannydoll stowed away the
crystal skull into the cold box alongside their putty dicks, and squinted at
the Jaffadoll, concentrating hard to make out the emblem. He wished he had dolly lenses in his dolly
glasses.
“It looks like a bird, maybe
a dove. Either that or a squashed
raisin.”
Jackdoll nodded sagely. “If it’s a squashed raisin, he’s one of
Naughty Nirrti’s guys, which means the Queen of experimental medicine is up to
something.”
“We should raise Teal’cdoll
and Sammiedoll,” Dannydoll whispered reaching for his teeny weenie radio.
“No. We deal with this between us. If Naughty Nirrti gets her nasty Goa’ulddoll
hands on the rubber babies, we could be facing another whole huge honkin’
problem. What if she got to the rubber
babies and changed them somehow? And
for the worse,” Jackdoll said darkly.
Nodding, Dannydoll pursed
his pouty vinyl lips and then frowned.
All they had was Jackdoll’s P90 and his own bendy plastic knife. Not exactly the arsenal for a full frontal
attack.
“I say we nab the raisin
Jaffadoll, and then get inside.”
Carefully and quietly,
Jackdoll and Dannydoll crept up on the unsuspecting squashed raisin and as
Dannydoll swung the cold box around with a heavy sounding plastic thunk,
Jackdoll screwed the Jaffadoll’s head around so that he could only see where
he’d been, and not track the SG1dolls to where they were going. The raisin staggered compos non-mentis
across Jay Felger’s living room floor.
Once inside Naughty
Nirrtidoll’s fortress, Jackdoll and Dannydoll were surprised to find it empty
of any other Jaffadolls. Jackdoll
didn’t like it; he knew where he was when he had to face a large muscled but
small-brained army of soldiers. When
they were missing all his instincts were on alert.
Eventually the dolls found
Naughty Nirrtidoll’s lab by following a moaning sound and some flashing
lights. Taking a quick look around the
doorway, Jackdoll could see a male doll strapped to a sardine can, and Naughty
Nirrtidoll pacing back and forth impatiently.
She was obviously waiting for something to happen as her plastic face
was lit up by the flashing lights being generated from the metal bolts through
her captivedoll’s neck.
-o-
“We need to free that poor
doll,” Dannydoll breathed.
“We need to blow Naughty
Nirrtidoll away,” growled Jackdoll.
“But what about her
victimdoll?”
“What about rubbing out one
more Goa’ulddoll?”
Rolling his googly eyes,
Dannydoll frowned again. “We have to
try and do both, Jackdoll, just no killing, okay?” Dannydoll stroked his dolly hand down Jackdoll’s vinyl arm.
Jackdoll grunted, but knew
his loverdoll was right to check his inclinations. This was Felger’s Doll Land after all.
“Do you think we’ll be able
to do this with just the two of us?”
“Does mouse shit roll? Of course we can do this! I’ll take Naughty Nirrtidoll, you take the
guy on the sardine can.”
.
Nodding quickly, Dannydoll
waited for Jackdoll to make his move before he aimed for the stricken doll.
-o-
Naughty Nirrtidoll
smiled. This particular subjectdoll was
interesting. He was male and built,
though he had a really weird hairstyle and she secretly wondered if it was a
wig or perhaps desiccated mattress stuffing on his head. It didn’t matter. She was having a nice time manipulating his dinky nuts and ass. Others called it DNA, but she knew what she
meant.
He was babbling nonsense and
for a moment she was sorely tempted to tie him in a chair and make him watch
weather reports. Either that or she’d
feed him fruit to pay him back. If only
she could get rid of his inane grin.
Then out of the corner of
her eye she spotted movement. She knew
who it was. It was the damned
Tauridolls. She would use her super
duper, disappearing daze snifter and become invisible. Cloaked, she laughed maniacally; no one
would see her now. She moved around her
lab, holding out her arms and spinning around just for the hell of it.
Frowning, Jackdoll watched
as Naughty Nirrtidoll flung a white sheet over her head and covered most of her
body. If she thought she was invisible
she was wrong. Jackdoll could see her
white sheet flap and billow. She looked
like Casper on speed.
Quickly he grabbed a spare
piece of hairy twine he found in the corner of the lab and wrapped it around
the Goa’ulddoll, pinning her vinyl arms to her vinyl body. Still under the sheet, Naughty Nirrtidoll
was blind. Jackdoll gave a lopsided
dolly grin; she was also dumb – very, very dumb.
Jackdoll couldn’t help his
disappointment though. He would have
given anything to shoot her, but he knew Dannydoll wouldn’t approve; Jackdoll
would be breaking the Felger’s Dolly Land rules.
Meanwhile, Dannydoll set
about untying the doll strapped to the sardine can, carefully disconnecting the
wires fastened around the metal bolts.
“Thank you, thank you,” the
doll said grinning inanely. “My name is
JonasQuinndoll, and that crazy lady over there kidnapped me from my Fruit
Store.”
“I’m glad to be of help,”
Dannydoll smiled recognising the doll’s place of origin. “Everyone threatened by the Goa’ulddolls
needs to make alliances, so it’s good that now you’re free, you can take the
fight back to your planet and tell others.”
“Yes,” nodded JonasQuinndoll
thoughtfully, and plunging his shaking hand into his dolly pocket, pulled out a
banana. “Please take this as a mark of
my respect.”
Swallowing, Dannydoll took
the long, slightly curved, hard object and stared at it. As his boggling mind processed the
possibilities, Jackdoll joined them.
“So who’s your inanely
grinning companion, Dannydoll?” he asked, just a little jealous. These two seemed to be getting along just a
little too well for his liking.
“This is JonasQuinndoll, and
he was kidnapped from the Planet Fruit Store.”
Jackdoll nodded
ruefully. He didn’t like JonasQuinndoll
and he certainly didn’t trust him, especially with Dannydoll. “Maybe its time you went back to the Fruit
Store,” he snapped, “Fruit doesn’t look after itself y’know.”
Dannydoll gave his loverdoll
a ‘look’ and then nodded. “Yes, you’re
right. We should leave.”
As Dannydoll and
JonasQuinndoll left Naughty Nirrti’s lab, Jackdoll stopped them. “I don’t trust her. I think we should see what she might get up
to once she thinks we’re outta the way,” Jackdoll hissed.
Secreting themselves just
outside, the dolls waited.
-o-
Naughty Nirrtidoll wriggled
and cursed until she managed to loosen the hairy twine and take off the daze
snifter, returning to normal reality.
She was good and mad, and rifled through a little box for some of her
most dastardly weapons.
“Oh crap,” whispered
Jackdoll, “Think we’d better take off.”
“No, wait,” said
JonasQuinndoll borrowing Dannydoll’s crystal skull from out of the cold
box. Holding it around the door, he put
on his best scary voice.
“Be warned, Naughty
Nirrti. This is JonasQuinndoll. My people will hunt you down and turn you
into apple crumble!”
Naughty Nirrtidoll blinked
in disbelief as she saw a see-through skull speaking to her. At least there was one thing she could be
absolutely sure of; JonasQuinndoll had nothing between his ears.
Putting her dolly hands
together she pressed a little weenie button activating a set of transporter rings
dropped out of nowhere and she disappeared.
“See, I knew I should have
killed her when we had the chance!” Jackdoll smarted, and held up his dolly
hand to anticipate Dannydoll’s words.
“I know, I know, we’re in Felger’s Dolly land!”
-o-
After JonasQuinndoll had
left to return to the Fruit Store, Jackdoll and Dannydoll began their walk back
to the farmhouse. Dannydoll studied the
banana in his U-shaped grip as they journeyed.
“Whaddya got there,
Dannydoll?” Jackdoll asked intrigued.
“It’s JonasQuinndoll’s
banana.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Jackdoll looked at the long
yellow item and then glanced at Dannydoll.
“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”
“Banana pancakes?”
Jackdoll stroked his
loverdoll’s butt. “Anything with a
filling, Dannydoll.”
-o-