FELGER’S FIENDISH FAN FEST

 

Apophisdoll scratched his little plastic System Lord prerogative and then backhanded his first prime.  “Where is SG-1?”

 

“I know not, my lord,” Crop’updoll muttered.  Rubbing his smarting head, he sighed.  It was all very well being Apophisdoll’s first prime, but he was thoroughly sick of having to deal with whatever cropped up, hence his name.

 

“Well find them!” Apophisdoll growled stamping his tiny sandaled foot.  You just couldn’t get good help when you needed it.

 

While Crop’up marched off to kick a subordinate, Apophisdoll glowered at his sumptuously over the top decorated throne.  He hadn’t seen SG1 for months, so the Tauridolls had either been captured by one of his Goa’ulddoll rivals or they were on a prolonged mission.  Whichever, he was going to find them and destroy them, and the longer he thought about it, the dastardlier his vinyl thoughts became.

 

He would call on his most dependable and effective secret operativedolls to execute his plan, execute being the word that excited his snakehead tendencies the most.

 

-o-

 

Jackdoll couldn’t suppress his grin; he was going to take Dannydoll on a picnic, well really he was planning a fucknic, or was that a sputnik?  Whatever.  He knew when he gave Dannydoll full rein over his body his loverdoll would send him into orbit.  Still grinning, he stuffed his pack with food and comforts; yep, it was a day for interstellar travel.

 

Dannydoll eyed Jackdoll and smiled.  He knew exactly what Jackdoll had planned, and he couldn’t wait.  Though he loved living in the farmhouse, he liked real privacy from time to time.  What with all the noise of Sammiedoll’s rubber babies, peace and tranquillity was hard to find, and now that Teal’cdoll had decided to train the babies in Jaffa military tactics, the house was full of marching, grunting and bouncing.

 

-o-

 

When they were ready, Jackdoll and Dannydoll shouldered their packs and hiked off across Felger’s lounge.  Jackdoll glanced at his teeny weenie plastic timepiece.  He would allow Dannydoll a few minutes of archaeological futzing on the way, and true to his prediction, Dannydoll demanded to stop when they reached Persian Rugland.

 

“Persian Rugland is always rich in artefacts, you know,” Dannydoll murmured.  “I’m absolutely convinced we’ll find some artefacts.”

 

Rolling his little googly eyes, Jackdoll quirked a lopsided grin.  Of course they’d find artefacts, this was Dannydoll, for cryin’ out loud!

 

Dannydoll stopped and inspected a large red and silver cylindrical object.  “This is interesting,” he muttered and began to study his discovery.  Jackdoll crossed his plastic arms across his beautifully sculpted chest and waited.

 

“The colours and design are familiar,” Dannydoll was saying, “It’s of a classical form.  I’ve seen this somewhere before.  It could be Byzantine,” he continued in his best academic tone.

 

Having waited just long enough, and gotten his fill of Dannydoll’s perky vinyl butt as he bent over to get a better look at his find, Jackdoll moved in to terminate Dannydoll’s sojourn in Persian Rugland.  “C’mon, Dannydoll, it’s time to go.”

 

“But, Jackdoll,” Dannydoll protested, “I haven’t concluded my study yet.  Look at the exquisite colours, the perfect symmetry!”

 

“It’s a Coke can, Dannydoll!”

 

As the dolls moved off again, they were unaware they were being watched.  Apophisdoll’s operativedolls had tracked down their targets and were making the most of sizing up the two strong and sexy SG1dolls.

 

The little shapely operativedolls giggled together, their nylon coiffeurs quivering and bouncy in the sunlight streaking across the continent of Persian Rugland.  This was the best ever opportunity.  The chance of tracking and watching the famous Jackdoll and Dannydoll at their rampant and lustful best was a mission worth fighting for, and the operativedolls had fallen over each other to be chosen for it.  They’d selected their supplies of cookies and coffee, their favourite armchairs, and one or two had even packed binoculars and cameras.

 

-o-

 

Jackdoll and Dannydoll emptied their packs.  Dannydoll took out his UHU adhesive putty dick and stroking it gently, grinned stupidly.  “Can we have a bit of sticky foreplay right now, Jackdoll?  I really, //really// want to touch, and kiss, and caress, and get ever so, ever so nekkid with you,” he breathed, his googly eyes blinking seductively.

 

Jackdoll was speechless except for a long low growling hnnnnggggg sound escaping his lips.

 

Suddenly, oranges, sandwiches, hard boiled eggs and quiche slices were randomly scattered across Jackdoll and Dannydoll’s blankie, as their UHU adhesive putty dicks vied for rapid sliding insertion.

 

-o-

 

Not far away, Apophisdoll’s giggly operativedolls grew in numbers as they gathered to watch Jackdoll and Dannydoll in humping heaven.  Being female, booby and leggy, their little googly eyes widened as they ogled Jackdoll and Dannydoll.

 

Their excitement grew, fuelled by an ever more fanatic desire to get a good look.  Their mission was forgotten, and the orderly line they had started with fell apart as the undisciplined mob of fans fought for the best viewing positions.  Giggly operativedoll hair flew in a variety of coloured strands, and frocks and little ill-fitting plastic dolly shoes were discarded in the fracas.

 

Dannydoll shuddered through his second orgasm, making his googly eyes shake up and down and round and round. 

 

Jackdoll gasped for breath.  “Whaddya think that noise is?”

 

“Dunno,” Dannydoll choked, “I thought it was you.”

 

“Me?  I wish!”

 

Now the sounds of staff fire could be heard, and by the time Dannydoll’s little eyes had regained their focus, all he and Jackdoll could see was a pall of black smoke wafting over their secret love nest.  Jackdoll wanted to make a grab for his P90 but his hands were full of spent and pliable UHU adhesive putty.  Just as he was wondering what to do with it, he spotted Teal’cdoll looming out of the smoke cloud.

 

“Are you and Dannydoll well, Jackdoll?” the large Jaffadoll enquired as he joined them.

 

“We’re fine, Teal’cdoll.  What was all that about?” Jackdoll asked nodding his dolly head at the crackling fiery heap of melting plastic.

 

“Apophisdoll sent his giggly operativedolls to observe your movements, O’Neilldoll.”

 

“Well, they had //plenty// of errr movements to observe,” Dannydoll said quietly.

 

“Indeed.  It seems your movements caused the giggly operativedolls to riot, and concerned for your dolly welfare, I intervened and took action.”

 

“Thanks, Teal’cdoll, we appreciate it,” Jackdoll nodded.

 

“So, these operativedolls, they were here to watch us?” Dannydoll asked nervously, twisting his dolly noggin this way and that to check for any other unwanted googly eyes.

 

“Indeed.  Their lack of discipline caused their downfall.”

 

Dannydoll looked concerned.  “They’re all broken.”

 

“They could have avoided all this,” Jackdoll commented, “If only they’d thought through their strategy.  They should have stuck to their original plan.”

 

“What was that, Jackdoll?”

 

“Being a Barbie queue.”

 

The End