FELGER’S FLUORESCENT FLUSH

by

Gateroller

 

“Why can’t we do it outside, Dannydoll?” Jackdoll whined loudly. 

 

“Because being outside the farmhouse makes us vulnerable, Jackdoll.  You should know that.”

 

“Yeah, but I want to spend some time with you in the great outdoors, without a roof over us and just the moon and the stars to light our lovemaking.”

 

“Jackdoll?  Are you feeling okay?  You never talk like that.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like you’ve just swallowed a Hallmark greetings card!”

 

“Hey!  I was just tryin’ to tempt ya, Dannydoll.”

 

“First, this is not the great outdoors, its Felger’s living room, and second he either keeps the lights on when he’s here, or we’re in complete darkness when he goes to bed.  There’s no ‘moonlight’ or ‘starlight’,” Dannydoll said frowning.  “It would be nice if there was, but get real, Jackdoll, it’s not gonna happen!”

 

“Yeah, well,” muttered Jackdoll disappointed that Dannydoll didn’t share his notion of romantic sex.  He probably saw Jackdoll as romantic comedy…

 

-o-

 

That night while Dannydoll slept soundly in their large dolly bed, Jackdoll snuck outside the farmhouse and crept around the edge of Felger’s sofa.  He couldn’t sleep for thinking about the moonlight and the starlight and his little dolly brain ached for the chance to give Dannydoll the romance he lacked and deserved.

 

When Jackdoll heard the deep rumbling noise of a possible herd of elephants nearby he shouldered his teenie weenie but perfectly formed P90 and fixed his googly eyes on the source of the sound.  It was Jay Felger snoring!

 

Snorting, Jackdoll rolled his googly eyes and sighed.  Only Jay Felger could make so much noise.  However, Jackdoll could see he’d fallen asleep in front of the TV, which was still on.  Grinning, Jackdoll settled himself comfortably on Felger’s chest and watched the TV screen go up and down.

 

For once, Jackdoll was relieved his hair was plastic and moulded to his head.  If he’d had real hair, Felger’s hot snory breath would have been blowing and sucking it with each lungful. 

 

There was some show on the TV about a guy who wore a long coat and sneakers.  He spent his time going into a small blue box that was bigger on the inside than it was on the outside.  Jackdoll was fascinated by the man’s pent up energy and slightly weird sense of humour.  He reminded Jackdoll of Dannydoll.

 

Jackdoll watched the commercial breaks just as avidly as he watched the man with the long coat and blue box.  Then Jackdoll’s little vinyl mouth dropped open when he saw an advertisement for Merlin’s Garden Spheres.

 

The willowy young woman on the TV screen was talking about small fluorescent glass spheres.  She said quite persuasively, “The Merlin garden spheres are guaranteed to give a soft iridescent light to any part of the garden.  Mounted on slim curly stalks, they are made to stick in the earth among plants and shrubs.  They are guaranteed to cast a romantic glow for those special love trysts.”

 

Two words really caught Jackdoll’s interest.  Mounted and love.  Putting the two together, Jackdoll cooked up a dolly idea believing he had the answer for Dannydoll’s night of romance.

 

With effort Jackdoll pulled back Felger’s jacket and searched the inside pocket.  It took some effort to extricate the man’s wallet.  When Jackdoll opened it up, he found what he was looking for - Felger’s credit card.

 

Tap dancing his little shiny plastic boots over the keys of Felger’s phone, Jackdoll made an order for the Merlin globes.  With the rest of the SG1dolls to cover the letterbox, Jackdoll figured he could intercept the delivery before Felger got his hands on it.  The only problem he had was keeping it a dolly secret from Dannydoll.

 

-o-

 

“Why have I got to paint our bedroom, Jackdoll?” a puzzled Dannydoll demanded.  “Aren’t you gonna help me?”

 

“Sorry, Dannydoll, the work needs doing and I’ve got a training session with Teal’cdoll.”

 

“Training?  Who are you training?” Dannydoll asked as he resentfully stirred the paint.

 

“The rubber babies of course.”

 

Dannydoll frowned.  “Aren’t they a little young for SGdoll training?”

 

“Well, yeah, but not for potty training,” Jackdoll grinned.

 

Rolling his googly eyes, Dannydoll sighed as he plunged the tiny paintbrush into a thimbleful of paint.  “Still don’t see why I have to paint the bedroom,” he muttered as Jackdoll strode from the room.

 

-o-

 

“Has it arrived?” Jackdoll asked Teal’cdoll as the big dolly man waited by Felger’s mailbox.

 

“It has, O’Neilldoll,” Teal’cdoll rumbled.

 

Jackdoll quivered with dolly excitement as he and Teal’cdoll dragged the long slim package across Felger’s living room floor to a private spot underneath the window.

 

The Merlin spheres had to be exposed to bright sunlight to charge up the fluorescent flecks inside the glass.  Jackdoll and Teal’cdoll struggled to get the stalks of the globes upright and planted into one of Felger’s plant pots.  Standing back to admire their handiwork, Jackdoll placed his hands on his vinyl hips and grinned.

 

Scooping up a rubber baby, Jackdoll dragged its diaper-covered butt rapidly over the glass to clean it producing a squeaky sound mixed with the mirthful giggles of the dolly infant.  He knew they would come in handy one day.

 

That night, Jackdoll brought Dannydoll to the plant pot and showed him the softly glowing spheres.  Dannydoll gasped.  “This is great,” he said appreciatively his googly eyes taking in the Merlin spheres.

 

Jackdoll gave a covetous smile and kissed Dannydoll.  That night the UHU adhesive putty got a good work out, and after the two dolls collapsed in a tangle of vinyl arms and legs with the pleasure of making romantic dolly love.

 

-o-

 

Every day thereafter, Dannydoll took it upon his dolly self to clean the glass spheres.  After all, Jackdoll had given him the globes as a gift and he wanted to take good care of them.  The idea of polishing them with a rubber baby didn’t appeal, so he just used his sleeve.  Jackdoll watched Dannydoll and smiled indulgently. 

 

One night, Dannydoll kissed Jackdoll passionately.  “I want another night of romance, Jackdoll,” he breathed suggestively.

 

“You mean under the glow of your Merlin spheres, Dannydoll?”

 

“Of course.”

 

Quickly, Jackdoll packed their putty dicks and a small piece of blanket.  Those Merlin globes had infused their dolly relationship with renewed passion and Jackdoll seriously wondered if the putty dicks would last.  Idly, he thought he ought to search out a new source of putty but not now, not tonight.  He wanted to concentrate of just using the putty they had.

 

As they lay on their piece of blanket, Jackdoll let Dannydoll explore his muscled vinyl body, his googly eyes closing gently as Dannydoll loved him. 

 

Jackdoll eventually opened his googly eyes and waited for them to stop spinning.  “It’s gone dark,” he observed in surprise.  “Your balls have stopped glowing.”

 

The End