hymentimes

Jonesboro, GA - Eighteen prisoners escaped from their shackles in downtown Atlanta on Sunday. The men, led by Brian Olsen of Clayton County had all been accused of playing, "Airplane Chicken". The men succeeded in hijacking 4 airplanes and playing two rousing matches of the newest extreme sport. They were captured and appeared in court in late October where their questionable judge appeared to be drunk in

court. When the jury found the men guilty, the incapable judge gave the sentence, "Two months in shackles in Atlanta's town square fellas. You can all just kiss me good night." said Judge Michael Dillyo. When the men asked him to set bail, Judge Dillyo claimed, "They had to earn it." Not knowing what that meant, the men decided to serve their sentences which would be carried out in November. According to a witness, the men were complaining that the crowd was jeering too much before they tried to make the escape. Then they broke out of the shackles by pushing really hard. A spokesperson from the

Medievil Weapons Bureau claimed, "Maybe we should have made new shackles, because the ones we did use were antiques and weren't in the best of shape. That's why the escape was so easy." Olsen escaped first and helped his partners to escape. They then stole

a meat truck and were involved in a high speed pursuit for about three hours. At 6:00pm the police had the truck cornered, when the men fled the scene and disappeared into the crowd of a local concert where the band Tricks was rocking out.

Longtime Tricks fan Tommy Borderly claims he saw the escapees while he was quote "getting his boogie on to Tricks' rad melodies. Tommy was later killed by the Atlanta police department.

The prisoners stole this meat van after snickering at picture of the cow on the side of the van. Sources say the men claimed "That cow looks like Judge Dillyo's momma". They then painted a clever slogan under the picture.

Officer Pete Cullen said they would have easily spotted the prisoners if it weren't for those meddling kids. The meddling kids in this instance being hardcore fans of Tricks feel-good rhymes and rocked out melodies. Apparently the kids were taunting and harassing the police as they searched the

crowd. One fan, Tommy Borderly offered his assistance to the police by pointing his finger and his inverted mullet cut in the direction he had last seen the escapees. When officers asked for his description of the escapees, Tommy said, "Dude, this band is just rocking too hard for me to concentrate right now. I have just got to punk out, or I will feel like I am not using my right to rock, you know what I'm sayin man?" Confused by Borderly's remarks officers used pepper spray on him before beating him with their nightsticks and firing three rounds into the quote, "dangerous hippy's" face. Officer Cullen claimed, "We may not have caught the hijackers, but we did rid the world of this man who obviously rocked too hard. All in all, I consider this a job well done."