Fred J. Dukes was never the most observant person in the world. However, even he noticed a change in Lance’s behavior when the seismically-adept mutant came into the kitchen to fix lunch. He was... whistling? And was that a slight bounce in his step Fred just saw?

And... oh, dead lord, Lance was smiling! Not scowling, not smirking with malice, but grinning stupidly.

“Hey, there, Freddy! Nice day, isn’t it?” Lance asked pleasantly as he opened the fridge and stuck his head in. “It’s so bright and happy and shiny.”

“Shiny?”

“Would you like a sandwich?”

“What?”

Lance pulled the necessary ingredients out of the refrigerator and set them down on the counter before shutting the fridge. “Turkey? Ham? Do you like mayo?”

“Uh...” Fred was at a loss for words. He nodded, a strange look frozen on his face.

“How many do you want?” Lance inquired, pulling a few plates out of the cabinet.

“I-- uh-- well-- one,” Fred said, fumbling with his words. Seeing Lance act so... nice and generous made him lose his appetite. Quite a feat, Lance. Congratulations.

“Forget it,” Lance amended, putting the sandwich material back into the refrigerator. “I’ll order pizza instead. What kind do you want?” he asked as he picked up the phone.

Freddy had had enough of this, and backed slowly out of the kitchen, saying: “Oh, any topping’s okay.”

Lance looked at him curiously, wondering if something was wrong. “Okay.”

Disturbed, Freddy made his way to the living room, where Todd was attempting to watch the television. Beside him, Pietro sat, speaking animatedly about something. Todd seemed a little irked by this, and attempted to keep his attention directed at the movie that was playing on the TV.

“Look at that! That’s so lame!” Pietro exclaimed, pointing at whatever scene had just occurred on the screen. “This movie sucks! The plot’s moving way too slow!”

“Then I’ll change the channel,” Todd said through gritted teeth, reaching for the remote.

“Yeah, change the channel. No. No, wait! Look at the that! They’re kissing! That’s so romantic. Isn’t that romantic?” He didn’t wait for Todd to reply and continued wistfully. “I love romance...”

“Uh... yeah... me too,” Todd responded slowly, staring at Pietro with widened eyes. His hand crept slowly and sneakily over to the remote, but was quickly slapped.

“Touch that and die,” Pietro threatened calmly, his eyes locked on the TV.

Todd eeped silently. He looked to Fred for help, but the Blob, too, was frightened by Pietro’s equally-as-strange-as-Lance behavior. Hoping that the psychotic speedster wouldn’t notice him, he lumbered up the stairs as quietly as possible.

Rogue’s door was open. That was rare. Freddy peeked in cautiously.

“Um, hey there,” he said, trying to sound as casual as possible.

“What do you want?”

“I dunno. Everyone’s acting so weird down there, I just figured I’d come up here.”

“And?” came Rogue’s impatient reply.

“And your door was open.”

“Ah’ll be sure to close it next time,” she snapped, slamming the door in his face. He found himself face-to-face with a “Keep Out” sign. Well, that was pleasant.

He heard a smack! from downstairs, and then Pietro’s voice saying: “I warned you.”

“Aw, come on!” was Todd’s whiny reply. “This is so boring and mushy!”

“No, it’s not! It’s romantic and wonderful and beautiful! You just don’t know good cinema!”

“This is crap!”

“Why you--” Pietro growled, then stopped. “Hi, Lance!” His voice sounded brighter, happier, and scarier.

When you’re living in a house with four other mutant teens, things are never normal. Fred knew this. But, what do you do when your version of normal just became horribly abnormal? Fred pondered upon this as he made his way to his room.

“Hi, Lance!”

“What’s going on here?”

“He just went berserk over this dumb movie!” Todd said insistently.

“Eh?” Lance... “eh”-ed (A/N: find a synonym). “Okay. I was gonna go pick up a movie for tonight, but if you really wanna watch that--”

“I’ll go with you,” Pietro piped up, abruptly getting up to stand by Lance’s side. He smiled proudly.

Todd stared at the two warily. Seeing Pietro beam like that scared the hell out of him. “Yeah, you do that.”

Lance pulled out his wallet, grabbed some bills, and handed them to Todd, who eyed him warily before snatching the money. Before he could pocket it, Lance said: “For the pizza man, in case he arrives before we get back. And be sure to tip him generously.”

The suspicion on Todd’s face was quite apparent as he said, “What’s with you guys today? Something’s definitely up. We never tip the pizza man.”

Pietro looked at Lance, then at Todd, then laughed. “You keep thinking that, Todd.”

“I... uh... will then!” he retorted.

Lance shrugged. “Think what you want.” He turned to Pietro and said, “Come on.”

As the two walked out of the house, Todd could see them exchange smiles. Oh yes, there was definitely something up, and Todd Tolensky was going to get to the bottom of it.

“I haven’t seen a good movie in ages,” Pietro remarked as he strolled between aisles of tapes.

“Anything in particular you want to watch?” Lance asked, eyeing the movies as he walked by.

“Yeah. Something I haven’t seen since I was in elementary school...”

“What is it?”

Pietro turned to Lance and smiled. “You’ll see. Go find something you want to rent.”

Lance shrugged and went in search of the horror movie section. Hell, watching movies at home with Pietro would be, in a way, their first date, and Lance wanted to pick a very special movie. He stopped in front of the horror movies and looked over the many boxes.

Too many choices. Damn it! Lance hated to choose between his old favorites. Was Jason more important than Freddy Kreuger? Was the creepy clown-thing known as IT any better than Dracula? And what about “House on Haunted Hill” versus “The Haunting”?

Lance looked from one box to the other. And then another and another. He couldn’t choose. All of the movies were special to him. Sighing in defeat, he started away from the Horror section, and it was then that he bumped into it, gleaming at him from the Drama section.

“Fight Club”.

Lance reminded himself not to drool as he rushed over and snatched it. Yes, “Fight Club” definitely beat all of the horror movies he had such a hard time choosing between. Pietro would love it, and if he didn’t, well, he would be stuck watching it anyway. Ha.

He glanced around for Pietro and wondered if he had found his tape yet. A frightening (yet strangely adorable) squeal of happiness from elsewhere in the store indicated a “yes”. The ferret returns.

Lance walked out of the section designated to “Drama”, and made his way to the counter to wait for Pietro, who was there shortly after, his hands clasping something behind his back.

“What’d you get?”

“Erm... nothing. I mean something, but I’ll pay for it.”

“You don’t have a Blockbuster card. I do, so give it here.”

“Fine, but don’t laugh,” Pietro grumbled, grudgingly handing the box over to Lance, who looked at the name on the box.

“’The Nightmare Before Christmas’?” Lance questioned, stifling a rather unmanly giggle.

“Hey! Don’t laugh! It’s a childhood fave of mine.”

“I see... You have strange tastes.”

“Yes. You’re a perfect example of that. Besides, haven’t you ever seen it?”

“No, I tend to avoid dancing clay skeletons.”

“Jack doesn’t dance... much... I don’t think so, anyway, it’s been a--”

“All right, all right. I won’t mock your movie if you promise to watch mine with me.”

Pietro shrugged in agreement to the compromise. “What is it?”

“Observe it in all of its beauty!” Lance thrust it in Pietro’s face, causing the teen to back away a bit in fear of getting hit in the face by the box. “‘Fight Club’!”

“A little excited, are we?” Pietro asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Hey, at least I didn’t squeal when I found it.”

“I didn’t squeal!”

“Okay, you shrieked with all the excitement of a preteen girl who just saw the Backstreet Boys.”

Pietro suppressed a shudder. “Just get the tapes checked out, Lance.”

“Sure thing,” Lance said, setting the movies on the counter. The Blockbuster employee stared at him with a funny look on her face. Apparently, she had heard the strange little conversation.

“What?” Lance asked defensively as he pulled out his wallet and handed her is card.

“Er, nothing. Is this all?”

“Yeah.”

She grabbed the tapes and performed the usual procedure of checking them out. “That’ll be seven dollars.” Lance gave her the necessary amount of money. “These are due in five days. Thank you,” she said almost mechanically, handing the tapes over to Lance, who took the videos and started for the exit.

He then stopped without warning, causing Pietro to bump into him.

“What is it?” Pietro questioned curiously after getting a faceful of Lance’s back.

“Parking lot,” Lance growled.

“Yes. Where your car is parked. What’s the problem?”

“Them,” Lance simply said. Are the X-Geeks following us?! I still haven’t even come up with a rock pun for them yet. Damn it! Just when his day was all perked up, the X-“Men” (and Lance used that term very lightly) had to show up. Again.

“Huh? Oh, forget them,” Pietro said dismissively, once he noticed that Evan wasn’t with them. “It’s only Summers, Blue Boy, and that little valley girl. Let’s go.”

“Look at them, so stupid and happy and stupid. Who the hell rents movies on a Sunday, anyway?!”

“Us, apparently. Let’s go,” Pietro urged, grabbing Lance’s arm. Wow, he feels tense. Maybe I should give him a massage later. Mmm... gah! No, not now. Think of that later when we’re in the confines of our own home and allll alone.

“But, I promised myself I’d do something bad to them!”

“The video girl is staring at us again. Let’s. Go,” Pietro said through clenched teeth. “We’ll get them at school or something.” He practically had to forcibly pull Lance through the exit. “Just play nice for now.”

“Do I have to?” Lance whined.

Pietro was about to say something, when he quickly released his hold on Lance’s arm. “Hi, guys,” he said, forcing a smile.

Xavier’s kiddies almost visibly recoiled at his uncharacteristic kindness.

“Wow, like, you were right when you said they were acting freaky, Kurt,” Kitty commented. Lance scowled at the bunch, though it seemed to lighten a tiny bit as his eyes passed over her.

Grr. Hiss. Lance better not being looking at her. Pietro quickly reprimanded himself for having slight feelings of jealousy towards her. How could he have had a crush on her?!

“Look, don’t try to start anything,” Summers said coldly.

“Must you always assume that we’re up to no good?” Pietro asked, his voice dripping with a disgusting amount of sweetness. “We were just about to leave. Right, Lance?”

“Oh, yeah. Right.” Glare. Scowl. Lance looked so cute when he was mad.

“Good,” from Summers.

The three walked past Pietro and Lance, and it seemed that they had just avoided their second fight of the day. Pietro sighed in relief. Crisis averted.

Suddenly, however, craziness ensued as the ground began to tremble just enough to knock the three X-Men off their feet. They toppled over each other in a mass of angry curses and limbs.

“You idiot,” Pietro hissed, promptly kicking Lance in the shin.

“Ow! Fuck! You kick hard!” Lance howled with pain. He hopped about on one foot, and the quaking was abruptly cut short.

“Vhat vas that for?” Kurt groaned, rubbing his head.

“Oh my God! Get off!”

“Huh?” He looked down, saw Kitty pinned under his weight, and grinned sheepishly. “Sorry, Kitty,” he apologized, rolling off of her (and feeling very pleased with himself).

Meanwhile, Scott fumbled around, eyes closed, searching for his sunglasses. I am so gonna get them. Vengeance. Grr. Gonna get them. Kill. Destroy, were the thoughts running through Scott’s head. Needless to say, his thoughts were very un-X-Men like.

“We should probably leave now...”

“Yup,” Lance nodded.

Pietro grabbed Lance’s arm and ran to the car at a pace that Lance could handle. At the same time, Kurt had retrieved Scott’s sunglasses for him, and the very peeved X-Men leader found it safe to open his eyes once more.

“Hey! Get back here!” he shouted at them, knowing full well that they wouldn’t. Their response was Lance’s crummy car screeching away from the Blockbuster video store.

“Like, what a bunch of jerks!” Kitty seethed.

“Vhat’s their problem?”

“I don’t know,” Scott said, narrowing his eyes as he stared at the spot where Lance was once standing. “But I’ll bet Mystique has something to do with this. We’d better not let our guard down again. Who knows what their plan is...”

“IdiotIdiotIdiot!”

*smack!*

“Hey! Watch it, I’m trying to drive!”

Pietro huffed angrily and slouched back in his seat, arms crossed.

“What’s wrong with you?! Normally, you’d jump at the chance to fight those dorks!”

“What’s wrong with me? Mystique is very adamant about us not using our powers in public, and you just had to shake things up in that parking lot!”

“That’s not what’s bugging you,” Lance pointed out.

“No, it’s not what’s bugging me,” Pietro admitted. “And why do you have that weird helmet-thing?!”

“Huh?”

“Well, I used to think that if you didn’t wear that helmet-thing while using your powers, your head would explode or something. But you can obviously create your little earthquakes without it, so why do you wear it?”

“I... don’t know,” Lance said after thinking for a moment. Maybe it was there to protect his head from falling rocks. But if it’s glass and it totally shatters, that’ll hurt worse than rocks, wouldn’t it? Is it even glass? I don’t even know what my own helmet... thing is made of! Silence followed, then Lance shook his head angrily. “Wait! You were changing the subject!”

“Yes, I was. Aren’t I good at that?”

“Whatever. Why’d you get so pissed off?”

“I just... I don’t know, I didn’t want anything to spoil the day,” Pietro said with a shrug. “I wanted to fight, sure, but not there and not today. Personally, I’d rather fight them at school so that if something does happen, we only have to deal with Mystique and not the police. We got the upper hand that way.”

“Oh, yeah.” More silence. “I think you bruised my shin.”

“Good.” Pietro cracked a small smile. “You deserved it.”

“You know what?”

“What?”

“You’re cool.” In Lance speak, that was the equivalent of saying: “I like you a lot!” Or, if you want to extend it to its full meaning, it’s: “I like you a lot! You’re hot and I want to sleep with you. I hope I can sleep with you. I really like you. This is my way of saying that I like you.”

Pietro blinked. “Thanks... I think.” He couldn’t think of anything more to say, so he simply returned the compliment. “You’re... cool, too, even if you are a big doofus sometimes.”

The car pulled into the driveway, and Lance leaned in close to Pietro until their faces inches apart. “At least I’m your big doofus,” he said, smiling broadly. “Yours to hug, to cuddle, to kiss--”

“Kissing sounds nice,” Pietro whispered in his ear, tracing his tongue along Lance’s earlobe.

Lance was expecting an all-out kiss, tongue and everything. Instead, he got a peck on the nose. “Huh?”

“Don’t want the pizza man to see us making out, do you?”

“What?”

“Check the rear-view mirror.”

Lance did and saw the Dominos car parked at the curb, the pizza man struggling with the rather large order. “Damn him! Now I really don’t want to give him the tip,” Lance said, sulking.

“We should probably help him.” Pietro was already out of the car after saying this, and Lance followed, tapes and keys in hand.

“Todd! Money!” Lance commanded as he set the last of the pizza boxes on the kitchen table.

“Geez, Lance, where’d you get all this money?” Todd asked as he grudgingly handed the cash to the exhausted delivery boy. “Here you go.” He then shut the door in the boy’s face.

“Duncan Matthews’ wallet.”

“A fine source of income,” Pietro smirked.

“Freddy! Rogue! Dinner’s here!”

“It’s not quite dinnertime yet,” Todd observed, looking at his watch. “It’s only 4:30.”

“Only?! Man, this has been a long day,” Lance muttered, sitting down at the table.

“What’d ya rent?” Todd picked up the two tape boxes and read the titles, then blinked. “‘Fight Club’ and... what the hell?”

“Don’t mock the movie,” Pietro said, prepared to defend his childhood favorite.

“I love this movie!”

There was a collective “Huh?” from Pietro, Lance, and Freddy and Rogue, who had just walked into the kitchen.

“But we still have to watch ‘Fight Club’!” Lance reminded. “We’re going to watch it no matter what!”

Freddy grabbed four boxes of pizza and strolled into the living room. “Fine by me. I got dinner to last a little while.”

Rogue set a few slices of pizza on her plate and promptly went back upstairs. This didn’t surprise anyone, considering how the girl was becoming more and more elusive lately. Ever since she had the fuzzy kid zapped into the other realm (or whatever happened), she’d been even more unfriendly and evasive toward her teammates, assuming that was possible.

“She’s so friendly,” Pietro observed as he grabbed his own dinner with slight disgust directed at the greasy meal.

Lance shrugged. Oh well, one’s gone, two to go, then I’ll be all alone with Pietro. Hehe. “It’s a shame. And stuff. Yeah.”

Todd and Pietro looked at him funny, then nodded with some baffled agreement.

“Let’s just start the movie,” Todd said. The sooner the movie started, the sooner Lance would shut up and stop acting creepy.

They were finished with “The Nightmare Before Christmas” and were about forty-five minutes into “Fight Club” when Todd excused himself. Claiming he had homework and other things to do, he went to his room. Fred had already left five minutes into the movie because he found it dull and couldn’t understand it. This meant that Pietro and Lance were alone.

Lance grinned wolfishly. Excellent (he could almost hear the voice of Mr. Burns in his head). Once he was absolutely positive that his semi-amphibian friend had left, he leaned closer to Pietro and put an arm around the slender mutant’s shoulder.

“Hello, there,” Pietro murmured, leaning back into Lance. “I like Brad Pitt’s pants.”

“Why?”

“Look at the way they fit on him, hugging those sexy hips.” He tilted his head and looked at Lance with an impish grin. “Do your pants do that?”

“Would you like to find out?”

“Yes-- wow!” His attention was drawn away from Lance and back to the movie as something more interesting than Lance’s pants occurred on screen.

Curse Brad Pitt and his pants! Lance yearned for the attention that Brad Pitt had stolen from him, and tried to think of some way to get it back. I could always stop the movie, but then Pietro would beat me to death with the remote control. Damn... Well, I could just take my shirt off and jump in front of the TV in hopes that my pants do the same thing as Pitt’s.

To Lance, that sounded like a good plan, until he realized that his pants were too baggy to do the hip-hugging thing. What to do? What to do... Ahh...

He cupped Pietro’s chin and tilted his face up. “Hey, this is a good sce--” Pietro started to protest, but it was all for naught as Lance captures his lips with a kiss. No pizza man to get in our way this time, thought Lance with triumph. He pulled away, licked his lips, and smiled.

“Does the rest of you taste this good?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Pietro returned with a smirk.

Lance lowered his head and licked the crook of Pietro’s neck. “That’s nice,” he noted before proceeding to suck on the soft skin of the slender boy’s throat.

“Mmm,” Pietro moaned, tangling his long fingers in Lance’s hair and pulling him closer. The movie blared on in the background, the sounds of flesh hitting flesh (and, consequently, flesh hitting concrete) masking the noise coming from Pietro and Lance.

Meanwhile, Todd was horror-stricken as he watched on from the staircase. Well, he had told himself that he would get to the bottom of the problem, but he never really thought that the two had the hots for each other. Of course, it did explain Lance’s strange behavior and Pietro’s... being himself.

Still, Todd couldn’t help but be shocked and confused. Should he tell them to stop? Leave them alone? Tell the others about the affair? Todd silently crept back upstairs and left the two teens to their groping and their kisses.

A/N: Hehehe. I don’t know if this chapter’s good or not, but I had fun writing the X-Men in the parking lot scene. Plus, I got to make references to my two favorite movies! :D Anyway, I got a comment from my beta reader (Morwin Weird ^^;) saying that Lance is a lot like Dee from “Fake”. I find this amusing. Hehe. That and now I see how there are some parallels between Lance/Pietro and Ron/Draco. ^_^ This makes me want to write Ron/Draco slash, but alas, I must finish my insane Snape story first...

Oh yeah, and Chapter 4 is already done and should be up in a day or two.