A/N: Warning again! This chapter has many references to music, movies, and Pietro-sex! If you can guess them all, then... neato! Also, we’re running low on creative energy (well, hey, look at how long it’s taken us to churn this chapter out. Okay, it only took us an hour, tops, but uhh we had been working and... Christmasbusycrap!) so send any ideas you have to: [email protected] Okay, we love you, buh-bye!

Scott awoke with a groan as a most terrible noise made its way into his room.

“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie--!!”

“What?” Scott murmured to himself, shoving Pietro off of his bed to make his way over to the source of the noise: the window. Oddly enough, the little speed demon didn’t wake up after colliding with the floor. Well, that wasn’t surprising, considering the five hours of... Scott shuddered. If it hadn’t been for Alex Trebec, Scott didn’t know what he would’ve done. No, no, not in that sense. Scott had been watching “Jeopardy” while Pietro had been speedily... well, Scott wasn’t really sure what the guy had been doing. Actually, he hadn’t even noticed Pietro-- all he had been thinking about was Jean. Jeeeeeaaaan...

Oh, Jean...

“That’s AMORE!!”

“Who IS that?!” Scott demanded to... no one. He opened the curtains and saw, a few windows down, Magneto floating before a window singing-- quite horrible, in fact. It was just then that the almighty climax occurred! Professor X opened the window and stuck his head out. The moon glinted romantically against his bald head.

“Why, Erik, I never knew you cared,” the Professor practically purred.

“Uhh...” came the Master of Magnetism’s ever articulate response. “Wrong window.” He turned to see Scott’s head poking curiously out of a window a while down. “Scott, my LOVE!”

Scott hurriedly slammed the window shut with an “Oh crap”-- so hurriedly, in fact, that he almost smashed his head. He had done that with his locker once, and it had been very painful. In fact... almost as bad as when Jean had dropped him into a swimming pool.

“Oh, Jean...” he lamented for the hundredth time (the other 98 times are hidden!). Suddenly, there was a slam as Magneto crashed into a window much like a bird crashing into.. a window!

“Allllll you need is loooove!” Magneto crooned.

“Please leave me alone.”

“Alllll yooooou neeeeed is looooove!!”

“Just go away!”

“Allll you neeeed is loooOOoovveee!!”

“I won’t ask you agaaaaiiiin!” Scott found himself singing. He slapped his forehead. It was just spreading, wasn’t it?

“Come whaaat maaaaay!” Pietro suddenly sang upon becoming conscious. Scott jumped and turned to face the very naked--

“Put some clothes on!”

The white-haired boy ignored him, staring out the window with startled eyes. “Dad?”

“Uh oh.” Magneto quickly looked away. “Pay no attention to the man outside the window!”

“I saw that movie, Dad!”

Scott took this moment to attempt to sneak away.

“I’m so mad at you, Dad, that I could just-- Steal all of Summers’ clothes!!”

“This is awkward; I should leave now,” Magneto announced from outside.

Scott stopped in his tracks. This wasn’t sounding very good... When he turned around, his room was... well, empty. Almost completely, in fact. The fiend had even taken his bedsheets! Well, he had never really liked his curtains anyway, so this was the perfect excuse to ask Professor X for money to redecorate. He had had his eye on the periwinkle satin things with the-- oh, nevermind! The only thing left on the ground (well, besides the furniture. Pietro had tried to take a chair or two, but they hurt his arms) was...

Oh God...

Pietro’s clothes.

Scott stared at the ceiling and shook his fist, shrieking a curse to the sky. At that precise moment, Jean opened the door to ask Scott for homework help. When she saw him, she quickly blushed and closed the door, running down the hall as fast as she could. This didn’t look like a very good time to bother Scott, since he seemed to be in the middle of his yoga practice. If she wasn’t mistaken, that was the “Angry Highwayman” pose.

Anyway, back to our hero. After he finished swearing at the poor, defenseless ceiling, Scott decided he had to improvise. He had some clothes in the laundry room, but that would require him going downstairs in his birthday suit, and God knows what would happen then.

Okay, this should be no problem. All he had to do was get downstairs-- with all those people waiting to do horrible, unspeakable things to him... And Logan was home!

Umm...

He had to find an alternative. Did Kitty have any clothes? No, that was preposterous. Even if she did have extra clothing, there was no way he’d be able to fit in those capri pants! Besides, they made his thighs look fat, and his butt-- well, that was an entirely different story!

Surveying the room one last time, he found nothing he could use to clothe himself. With a sigh, he picked up Pietro’s strange ensemble of clothes and put them on. He felt... cheap... and dirty, and at the same time... oddly, thrilled! It was... liberating and then... Jean walked back in. She had decided that Trig was very important. Yes, even moreso than yoga and inner-peace.

“Scott!” she cried, horrified.

Scott turned around, eyebrows raising over the frames of his sunglasses in an expression that could only described as “shock”. “Jeeeaaan?!”

“What are you doing?!”

“I’m sitting in the middle of Fourty-Second Street waiting for a bus,” he said flatly.

“What? Well, what are you doing with those clothes?!” She seemed to disregard his little comment.

“These aren’t my clothes!”

“Well, where are your clothes?”

“I can’t find my clothes!”

“Well, why are you wearing these clothes?”

“Because... I just went GAY all of a sudden!” he declared irritably, leaping into the air for emphasis.

“I can’t talk to you when you’re like this, Scott!” the object of our hero’s affection cried, running from the room before he could actually explained what was going on.

Great, now she thinks I’m gay... And I feel like an extra in “Rocky Horror Picture Show”. Now all I need is a wheelchair-bound mentor-- wait a second...

With a sigh, Scott exited the room and began te perilous journey towards.... the laundry room.

Somewhere on the Road...

Scott Summers’ Corvette had been lying, abandoned, at the scene of the accident (you know, when Scott hit the tree in the last chapter? Yes, we had to re-read it, too)-- well, it doesn’t really matter how long it’s been there, the point is that there was something myseterious lurking in the trunk. Kitty Pryde. You see, when Scott set out to go for a drive, she decided it was the perfect chance to phase into the trunk then catch him while he was alone on the road! Unfortunately, that trollop Kurt had gotten in her way and beaten her to the prize! How she hated him at the moment. Him and that Lance guy, too!

But she would get even. Oh yes. In fact, Kitty was in the process of cooking up a scheme when the car collided with an unfortunate tree. Kitty took that moment to take a nap, and only now did she wake up. Quickly phasing out of the car, she found that she was alone, at night, with trees and no people for blocks! Whatever was she going to do?

A/N: Will Kitty ever escape the trees? Will Scott find some clothes? And what the hell is Lance doing, I thought he was coming back in this chapter! And just WHERE did Kurt poof to? And who else are we going to throw at Scott?! Find all this out and more... when you email us with suggestions at: [email protected]! (you see, [email protected] doesn’t work because SOMEONE was too lazy to check her account for months so it got shut down! Anyway...) Tune in next time (hopefully a little sooner than last time)!