Colin, Greg, Brad and Chip waited anxiously at the airport. Every time the electronic doors swished open, they looked over hoping to see Ryan.
          "Maybe he's chickened out," Brad shrugged.
          "Ryan would never do that," Colin scorned.
          "Well he does have that rampant phobia of flying…it’s not impossible," Greg stated.
          "I agree with Greg," Chip sighed.
          "I'm telling you Ryan would never do that," Colin insisted.
          "Ryan would never do what?" Ryan mused.
          The others jumped, and were shocked they'd been too busy arguing to notice Ryan arrive.
          "Well?" Ryan repeated.
          "Never mind…we've got to get on the plane before it leaves without us," Colin said, changing the subject.
          "Sorry I was late," Ryan perked as they headed toward the check in desk. "I was conjuring up a good excuse to tell the kids."
          "What did you tell them?" Chip asked.
          "That they should ask their mother," Ryan chuckled.

          Several hours into the flight the former "Whose Liners" were nothing less than bored to tears. The in flight move was The Lord of the Rings, which was sending them all into a comatose state.
          Ryan had taken to getting as drunk as possible; this in turn was increasingly annoying to Colin, who was trying to read a novel someone had given him for Christmas, but had to contend with Ryan's continual drunken interruptions, which involved various explanations of everything from how to properly use a sick bag to what was making his head itch.

          Greg had been given a seat closer to the back of the plane. He was sitting next to a young woman who was making him feel increasingly uncomfortable. He couldn't decide if the fact her breasts were just about hanging out of her barley there top was more unsettling than the way her hand kept creeping under his blanket and onto his thigh. There was no doubting in Greg's mind that this woman was attractive but he was very much a married man and he was determined he was not going to enjoy the attention. He had to think un-sexy thoughts:
          "Rosanne…the President…Clive Anderson naked…a Colin and Ryan porn movie…Mom and Dad doing it…oh that's it…stick with that one."
          Greg looked gingerly over at the woman as she licked her lips. It was going to be a long flight.

          Brad meanwhile had been given a seat next to an elderly woman. Why couldn't he get a seat next to some young thing like Greg? He just hoped she didn't start a conversation.
          "Long fight isn't it?" the elderly woman smiled.
          "Yes, insanely long," Brad smiled and then winced.
          "I'm Flo," the elderly woman continued.
          "Brad," Brad sighed.
          "I know who you are…you're that lovely young man from TV…now what's the show called…" Flo perked.
          "Whose Line," Brad suggested.
          "That's it…you and that coloured boy have wonderful voices," Flo said wistfully.
          "Thanks," Brad mumbled.
          "I don't like the tall one though…he's a bit rude for my liking…and I don't think the bald one is right in the head," Flo stated.
          Brad couldn't help but laugh. "I'll pass that on."
          "Ohhh no…don't do that," Flo blushed.
          "Oh why not…they're only over there," Brad smiled and pointed to Colin.
          Flo looked mortified but soon cheered up and decided to tell Brad all about her family, 22 grandchildren and medical history. Brad found himself ordering copious amounts of alcohol with the hope that he might pass out and be saved from old lady hell.

          Chip was in his own hell, with his seat being between a warring brother and sister. Not only did they insist of squealing at each other but they seemed to enjoy having a food fight as well. Chip loved kids but these two were obviously spawned from the loins of Satan himself.
          "I hate you," squealed the girl. "Skank," retorted the boy.
          "Moron."
          "Cow."
          "Fatso."
          "Bitch."
          "Yak butt kisser."
          "Toad licker."
          "Porker."
          "Fart head."
          The more the kids insulted each other the more Chip felt his blood boil. Eventually he could take no more. "WILL YOU TWO ANNOYING LITTLE INBRED FERALS SHUT THE HELL UP," he yelled.
          The kids looked petrified.
          "Excuse me," snapped a voice.
          Chip looked up to see a woman standing near the girl.
          "What?" Chip grumbled.
          "They are my children…how dare you insult them and me," hissed the woman.
          "Well maybe if you disciplined your kids once in a while they wouldn't be so god damned uncontrollable," Chip scowled.
          "Is there a problem?" asked a stewardess who appeared near the boy.
          "This man is upsetting my children," announced the woman.
          "ME!" Chip squealed. "I want these kids muzzled and locked away."
          After some intense negotiations, Chip swapped seats with the children's mother and found himself seated next to a young man who was more camp than Ryan during "Hats."