"What do we do now?" Chip asked, his voice wavering.
          "Dig a hole and bury the body," Ryan perked. "Got a shovel?"
          "Have to be a big hole," Greg mused as his heart began to beat at a normal rate again.
          "I don't want to be an accessory to murder thankyou," Colin huffed.
          "Oh come on, we murdered heaps of people in Nam," Ryan grinned, still waving the steering wheel lock about.
          "Captain Billy, killing in a war is completely different from killing someone through senseless driving," Colin countered.
          "They still end up dead, I see no problem," Ryan shrugged.
          "I think we should check to see that she is actually dead," Greg announced, "and not just horribly disfigured."
          "Like you could tell," Brad sniggered as he pulled the car to a stop. The five men eased themselves out of the car with Brad leading the way. They crept over to the silent police car, where the lights were flashing like a disco.
          "Well, go look," Greg ordered and poked Brad with his walking stick.
          "Ok, ok," Brad grumbled and eased his way forward. His trembling hand gripped the door handle and he pulled it open. Cheryl the Nazi was slumped on the steering wheel.
          "Shit, she is dead," Chip breathed. Suddenly Cheryl sat bolt uprigh,t a trail of blood smeared on one side of her face.
          "Oh no she's not," Ryan gasped.
          "RUN!" Brad shrieked and the five men hobbled as fast as they could back to the car as Cheryl tried to hoist her podgy frame from behind the wheel. Greg, who was last to ease himself into the backseat, barely had his legs in when Brad pressed his foot down on the accelerator and left Cheryl in a cloud of dust. Ryan stuck his head out of the window.
          "YOU'LL NEVER CATCH US QUEEN OF THE DRELKS…NEVER!"
          "We should have left him behind," Colin muttered.

          "Why is there never hits for the over 60s on when you want them," Jeff mumbled as he fiddled with the radio tuner in the cab. The fact that when he found a station he never tuned it in properly had caused both Wayne and Drew to have the desire to scream.
          "Just put it on a station and leave it there," Drew ordered.
          "I don't want any of that modern garbage, can't understand a word of it," Jeff huffed.
          "Looks like an accident up ahead fellas," the cab driver announced as he saw the flashing lights of the police car in the distance. "I best pull over and check." Both Jeff and Wayne squinted to see a figure waving down the cab as they got closer.
          "Oh no," Wayne breathed.
          "What?" Drew asked.
          "You don't need to stop, keep going…Please I beg you to keep going…" Jeff pleaded to the driver.
          "What? What's happening?" Drew asked more impatient.
          "I can't do that, there's a distressed woman," the driver huffed as the cab slowed.
          "That's not a woman," Jeff declared. "In fact I'm sure she was spawned by several large African animals."
          "CHERYL, CHERYL'S HERE!" Drew yelled hysterically.
          "You've only just noticed?" Wayne grumbled.
          "How could I notice? I'M BLIND," Drew hissed.
          "Always the same excuse with you isn't it," Jeff scorned as the cab stopped next to Cheryl.
          "What happened to you, love?" asked the cab driver.
          "Don't ask," Cheryl grumbled as she noticed the three men sink down in their seats in an attempt to look inconspicuous. "Can I get a lift with you, I'm going in the same direction as those three?" she added.
          "Sure," the cab driver enthused as Cheryl opened one of the doors and made Drew squish Wayne against the window, so as to accommodate her large frame.
          "My hip has locked," Wayne breathed.
          "Your hip, my testicles," Drew groused. "The only good thing is I can't see her."
          "Please don't let us turn any sharp corners," Wayne whimpered as the cab started to move again.

          "Cheryl's going to be furious," Chip whimpered.
          "She'll have us all medicated like zombies," Colin grumbled.
          "I like being medicated, it’s one step closer to being dead," Greg perked and received annoyed looks from everyone else.
          "I'm not letting her anal probe me," Ryan growled.
          "Now there's a thought," Colin sighed.
          "This has been the best birthday ever," Brad perked as the sky started to lighten.
          "Best, the best birthday? We're going to end up having needles in our butts and this is the best birthday ever?" Greg scorned.
          "Damn anal probes, rip me open like…"
          "Captain Billy!" Colin snapped.
          Ryan muttered something and then went back to keeping watch.
          "And just think we can do it all again next year," Brad perked. "I'll be 80 then."
          "Please, please let me die before then," Greg begged.
          "Hey, don't cry buddy," Chip soothed and patted Greg's leg.
          "Or let him die," Greg mused with a grin.
          "Don't be horrible," Colin sighed, his knees creaking loudly.
          "I don't like pie," Chip huffed.
          Greg raised an eyebrow at Colin. "I still think it’s mean," Colin scorned.
          "Pie and cream?" Chip muttered confused.
          "I need to pee," Jeff announced.
          "Now?" the cab driver asked.
          "Well it will be if you don't find me a bathroom," Jeff declared blankly.
          The driver pulled to a stop at the next gas station, the driver announced he had to go as well and slid out of the car and headed inside.
          "Gee Cheryl that's a nasty cut you've got, you should clean that blood off. Don't want it to get infected," Jeff announced kindly. Cheryl looked at them suspiciously.
          "Ok, I'll be five minutes," she scowled and pulled herself out of the car. The second she disappeared. Jeff clambered out of the car and scurried round to the driver's seat, which he fell into.
          "You sly bastard," Wayne gasped as Drew moved back over and let out a groan.
          "Are we ready?" Jeff asked.
          "Just go, will you," Drew ordered.
          Jeff put his foot down and they sped away from the gas station.
          "I can't believe you did that," Wayne gasped.
          "I can't believe I'm driving," Jeff perked. "It’s been twenty years since I last sat behind the wheel."
          "Oh my god," Drew breathed as he felt the car swerve, Wayne let out a shriek as the cab narrowly missed a large truck going in the opposite direction.
          "Glad I'm wearing my poop pants," Jeff perked.
          "Too late for mine," Wayne whimpered as he and Drew grabbed onto each other in the back seat.

          "I'll be glad to get a cup of tea when we get back," Brad sighed as he guided the car through the streets of LA to the retirement home.
          "I'll be glad to get to bed," Colin yawned, his head still a little fuzzy from his drinking binge earlier the previous day.
          "I'm going to have to check for spy cameras…I've been away too long. They'll have my room bugged again," Ryan snorted.
          "I'll be glad when he's taking his pills again," Greg sighed as the home came into view. Brad pulled into the car park and eased the car into the parking spot as a cab flew past them and mounted the curb.
          "What the fuck?" Greg gasped.
          "Hi guys," Jeff waved as he wound down the window.
          "How did you catch up so quick?" Colin asked as he gingerly got out of the car.
          "Jeff drove like 100 the entire way," Wayne swallowed as he appeared, bug eyed from the back of the cab.
          "What happened to the driver, man?" Greg asked.
          "We lost him and Cheryl at a gas station not that far away. We'd best get in and hide," Drew declared.

          The men shuffled into the quiet reception area and descended to their different rooms.
          "Thanks for the great birthday guys," Brad whispered. Drew fell onto his bed exhausted and was asleep before he'd managed to take his glasses off. Chip and Greg headed into the entertainment room where they took their places in front of the television. Greg could no longer lie flat without his lungs filling with mucus and Chip simply couldn't remember which room he was in. Wayne took several painkillers and tried to ignore the throbbing in his squashed hip. Jeff pulled on a couple more cardigans and a hat and slid under the covers. While Ryan went about hunting spy cameras and tiny microphones from his room and Colin fell face down on his bed and planned to sleep for a week, before his dodgy prostate decided that he had to go to the bathroom.

          Cheryl was dropped off a few minutes later and marched past the car and obscurely parked cab and into the reception area, where Suzie who was first on duty looked at the blood stained, dust covered woman in shock.
          "Cheryl what happened?" gasped Suzie, rushing over to dust her off.
          "I'm going to kill those bloody men," Cheryl spat.
          "Men? They're all in bed asleep," Suzie replied.
          Cheryl pushed past her and raced around the home, shocked to see all the men accounted for and resting, she narrowed her eyes. "Next time," she muttered.

          After a trip to the bathroom Brad, grinning inanely sat on his bed and started rifling through a draw for some clean underpants. He switched on the radio and hummed as he searched.
          "And now the weather for this 24th day of November…"
          Brad's ears pricked up and looked at the radio in disbelief, he'd celebrated a day early. Then a wry smile spread across his face, oh well looks like he'd get to do it all again earlier than he'd hoped. He just hoped the guys would be up for it…