"My lad," the old man began, "I'll bet you think we old timers don't know what we're talking about." He knocked back another shot of rye. "But we're not as stupid as you think we are."
"Right," I said. I tried hard to ignore the old fucker.... but he wouldn't shut up.
"Well, listen well," he called for another glass. Like he needed more. When he got his drink, he continued. "Why, I remember, when I was your age, I was good friends with Adolf Hitler," Drunk talk, of course. The man wasn't even old enuff to remember seeing Hitler.
"Really?" I asked, not caring.
"You betcha," the man chuckled. "Why if it wasn't for me, all them dirty Jews would still be running loose, causing all sorts of troubles, like they always did,"
"Why?" I was only being polite.... I was waiting for him to pass out. It couldn't take much more... "Didn't you order a drink?" I motioned at his glass.
"Ah, yes..." He downed the shot, and continued his story, "Well, one day, I says to Adolf, I says 'Adolf. Them Jews. They're baaad news. You should be rid of them.' Now, of course, ol' Adolf. he listened to my suggestion. He always did. If I had told 'im to kill Germans, he'da listened, I reckon."
"I'm sure," I wanted out. But my drink was too fucking good to guzzle, so I sat, feigning interest.
"Look here, kid," the old coot growled.. he was really red-faced, but I didn't think he was that angry, yet. "Don't you believe me?"
"Not really, no," No point lying.
"Here, I'll prove it, then," reaching into his coat, I prayed it wasn't a gun. Who can tell these days? The old guy pulled out a wrinkled photo. "There. See? Me and Adolf, in Paris."
I looked at the picture. Something was wrong... "Hey.. Why are you in color, and Hitler's in black and white?"
"Umm........" The old man was caught in his lie. No way out, now.
"And why did Hitler just fall off the picture?"
"Well, you see...."
I peeled the old man's likeness off the picture, too... "This is a postcard!!"
"No it's not!!"
"Fuck you, old man," I twisted the postcard into a cone, and rammed it into his eye. He screamed. I drank. Then, I got up and left.
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