| Diary entries & Photo journal These are selected portions of my writings and pregnancy pictures. *Remember, some things were written almost 5 years ago; when I was just 16. |
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| Novemeber 2, 1998: It's already November! It's hard to believe that I will be 17 in just two months, I'm 4 months pregnant, Matt & I have been going out for 10 months and I've lived here 8 months. We've heard the baby's heartbeat and in 2 days, I go in to the Dr.'s office for an ultrasound- our first sight of the baby...how exciting!!! I doubt we'll be able to find out if it's a boy or a girl yet, but it'd be awesome to know now. November 3, 1998: Well, I'm upset! At my Dr.'s appt. 5 weeks ago, my doctor told me he wanted me back in 5 weeks for an ultrasound, so I made the appt. for tomarrow. The doctor didn't give me any specific instructions for the ultrasound- so I called today to get some info. To my surprise, they told me I wasn't schedualed to have one; that tomarrow was just an O.B. appt. I am so mad! I called the hospital to check. Sure enough, they didn't have me listed. Someone screwed up! I'm so disappointed now. I was so exicited and now I feel let-down. I told everyone about my appointment; my friends, family, Matt's family. Oh boy, this has been a bad day. First, the news about the ultrasound, then I had to go to the bank. I was coming out and grabbed for the door handle to Matt's truck...I broke my thumb fingernail off and it really hurt! I was so upset. I guess I thought that someday when I was pregnant (& married w/ a house), that everything would be just perfect and everything would be just right and go smoothly (I guess almost like a fairy tale). I guess some things don't go quite as perfect as we'd like. I'm so worried about a million different things- most I guess are petty. I'm worried that the nursery won't be ready in time (5 months). We're going to have to race to get everything bought & done. It scares me. I'm worried that we won't have everything done: getting a car (instead of the truck), getting household stuff that we need to buy, fixing everything up, doing the baby shower. I'm so worried we won't have enough money to get stuff we need for the apartment and the baby. I guess I'm just in a hurry to get everything done a head of time, so we won't be pulling our hair out in April. I'm worried about being able to drive when the baby's born- I'll need to go to a bunch of Dr.'s appointments, my orthodontist appointments, the store, run errands. It would be practically impossible to be a mom and not be able to drive. That worries me often. I'm sure it could take a long time to sell the Porsche and pick out a good family car. (Matt's truck & the Porsche are stick shifts and I'm not very good at driving them. It makes me a little nervous.) We need to start getting things done and out of the way and not put it off. November 5, 1998: I went to my O.B. appt. yesterday. They took a urine sample, charted my weight and blood pressure & gave me some more pamplets. They asked me a few questions and the doctor went over my test results. All were fine. He listened to my baby's heartbeat. I heard it. We made an appt. for Nov. 17 (Tues.) at 3:00 pm (in 2 weeks) for my ultrasound. This time it's for sure. I can't wait! I guess I have so many mixed feelings about the baby. Every minute of the day, I have different emotions about the whole thing. Right now, I'm thinking of all the wonderful & exciting things about having a baby. When it's born, it will be so tiny & fragile. I can't wait to hold the baby, play with him or her, take care of it. Babies are so adorable and I know I won't be bored anymore! November 7, 1998: I went to the orthodontist yesterday, so my teeth hurt really bad. I had a hard time sleeping. Having braces is misreable! We went over to Matt's parents house last night (they went to Las Vegas for the weekend). We rented a movie and ate pizza. I had the hardest time eating the pizza. I had to use a fork and that sure didn't work very well! I was still hungry, but gave up after the second piece. I didn't feel good this morning. I absolutally hate mornings like this. I felt like I was going to puke and I couldn't eat, although I knew food might make me feel better. November 10, 1998: (4 months pregnant) ......The baby has started doing something new and strange. When I lay down, most of the time I feel something weird in my stomach, so I put my hand on it & I feel a ball sticking out. The baby must be active! It does that when I lay on the couch, lay down for bed, all night long & in the morning. If I put my hand on the baby, 30 seconds or so later; it moves away- so it's not sticking out anymore. November 11, 1998: Matt didn't go to work today because he's sick with a cold. This evening, we went to KFC. One of the biggest cravings I have now; is for KFC's BBQ chicken & their potatoes & biscuits. Isn't that strange! Before, I hated going there & I didn't much like their food either. Also, before- I loved macaroni & cheese, I could eat it everyday; now I don't even want to think about it- yuck! November 13, 1998: Today is Friday the 13th. Spooky! Although I'm not supersticious. I've had a long, tiring day. I cleaned a lot before Matt came home from work, I cooked spaghetti for lunch, I cleaned the guinea pig cage & later (for 3 long hours); I cleaned the nasty algea-infested fish tank. It was exhausting! But at least it's done and I won't have to clean it again for about 4 or 5 months; about the time the baby's due. The fish really seem to like their clean and brighter-looking tank. ...... November 17, 1998: Well, I had my ultrasound a little while ago. In fact, we just got home. It was extremely uncomfortable with a huge, full bladder. It hurt. But a little while after they started, they said I could go & empty half of my bladder. That was nice! When I came back into the room, and seen more of the baby, they told me to go & empty the rest of my bladder out; so the baby would move into a different postion. They looked at every part of the baby's body & everything is fine. The baby was moving a lot! They gave me 4 pictures. One is the top of it's head, and the 'footprint'- you can even see the tiny toes & the others were of the face & features. One picture is showing the baby's hand under it's chin, as if actually posing! It's a girl!!! I knew it! It's time to go shopping & also pick out her name. I called some people & told them about the ultrasound. They all seemed happy & excited. Matt's G-ma screamed. She had said the baby would be a girl all along...... I hope Matt isn't disappointed the baby isn't a boy. Maybe the next one will be! Ha Ha! I just know she'll be the most beautiful baby girl ever. I'll have a daughter in just 4 1/2 months! It's hard to imagine! |
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