Let's ask a Bostonian to say something about sports that doesn't involve a wrongdoing or cosmic humping that one of their teams was on the short end of and see what happens. Just like trying to get a girl to sleep with you by telling her you�ve got syphilis, unless you�re in a VD clinic, it's not going to happen. This is the reason bars in Boston close at 11:30 at night. It�s the reason any other sports fan would rather bob for apples in a bucket of AIDS than watch a game with a lifelong Boston fan. It's a virtual guarantee that, at some point during the contest, an excuse will be made. A reason will be found, outside anyone�s immediate control, for the outcome of that contest to be "fahcked." It could be Hai Lai or horses, Curling or Quarters. Sure as shit, someone
The arguments for the repeated and malicious singling out of Boston teams by every random and unlucky bounce in professional sports sound like a 99 Theses against the legitimacy of sport itself. Instead of finding their identity in the legacy of Larry Bird, or the mystique of Ted Williams, they have staked their territory and defend their ground as the largest single collection of cry-baby losers in recorded history. Their desire to make people feel sorry for them is a cultural phenomenon.
Now, in the wake of that colonial abortion of a town�s one shining moment, is the opportunity to enjoy a single season without a word of senseless banter about Nomah and Mahtinez lookin' wicked good in spring training. You�re city sucks and you�re very short and very bitter and feel that you�ve been wronged by God. We understand and we don�t give a rat�s ass. So Nomar's gay, let's go Mets and here's to a season of peace and quiet.