Get To Know MC
Do you know who I am
Never been to Vietnam
And I am a garbage man
I love the game Candy Land
Do you know who I am
If you can�t figure it out my name is MC Dan
Hi, I�m a guy
Wearin a fuckin bowtie
In the middle of July
With my red berey
�The faggot�s gay�
Hey, shut up you punk
I got a little suttin that you might call spunk
I may not be a hunk
But when it comes to funk
I�m number one, tons of fun
I�m a blast, I�m a gas
I look like cheap ass
You know I like to rap
I�ll always make you laugh
Like my man Lewis Black
Yo, plenty of time to go
And you know I go slow
In the middle of the snow
Or at the end of the snow
I�m telling y�all what nobody knows
Do you know who I am
Never been to Vietnam
And I am a garbage man
I love the game Candy Land
Do you know who I am
If you can�t figure it out my name is MC Dan
Hey, don�t go away
I got lots more to say
And you know it�s okay
So why don�t you stay
I don�t mean to bore ya
But wait there�s still more, yah
So go grab a pilla
Filled with some feathas
I�m watchin Godzilla
Doughnuts will fill ya
Stay outta the water cuz Jaws�ll kill ya
Woah, now hold on there fella
You dressed like Cinderella
Pip�s loving Estella
Well she can go to Hell-a
With Keenan and Kell-a
But I don�t need to tell ya
Do you know who I am
Never been to Vietnam
I work in the kitch-i-en
I�m red in Candy Land
Do you know who I am
In case you still don�t know my name is MC Dan
Alright
Carbonite
There�s a light
In the sky
I don�t mind to die
But don�t ask the question why
I�m actin real fly
Dressed like a sharp guy
I�m never gonna stop
With my awesome hip hop
Like a fat cop
I�m phat to the top
I should charge a fee
For listenin to MC
So get to know me
Why am I in Delivery?
My rapping skill is sweet
I�m rapping to the beat
Being white�s a tough feat
My dad don�t eat meat
Write rhymes in the bathroom
I�m beyond what you can fathom
MC�s hip, my friends say if you ask �em
I take the red pill
I hate Big Will
The fucks on Capital Hill
Eminem I�d love to kill
Course, you know I�m gonna chill
Like on Halloween night
I�ll give kids a li�l fright
I�ll punch them if they bite
Damn man, their faces are a sight
What up my fans
It MC Dan
M means that I�m the man
C stands for can
King of Cool is what I am
I love the ladies though they all hate me
I want time for nakey
You gettin to know MC
Do you know who I am
No I ain�t Antony Langd-an
No I ain�t no Julianne
I beat blue in Candy Land
Do you know who I am
If you�re really that dumb my name is MC Dan
Shit I�m being hit
Chased like I�m in Bullitt
I�m not that fit
Whore without the sex bit
That means I get paid
But never get laid
My rapping�s so good you need first aid
I�m as good as lemonade
That�s what I say-ed
This rap thing is just a phase
Don�t you find it ironic
How a gin and tonic
Is great with Hooked on Phonics
I only speak in ebonics
Playin Sega Sonic
Hicks say �dog garn it�
You know it�s all true
I rap for all of you
Now MC be here no need to feel blue
Please no boo-hoos
My bow tie from my box
Put it on and I�m a fox
And I strut out with my date Goldie Locks
Do you now know who I am
Do we need to do this over again
Are you as ugly as sin
Did you ever win at Candy Land
Do you know who I am
If you�re retarded my name is MC Dan
Boy In The Boat
Get out the nachos get out the beer
No need to fear cuz MC is here
I don�t mean to boast
I just wanna roast
A pig, a chicke, and a kid goat
You eye my girl and I�ll cut your throat
Now I�m stuck in this world like the boy in the boat
See him everyday
He�s got nothing to say
We know he ain�t real but we wave anyway
He�s okay, small like he�s from Oz
Just slightly smaller than Garrett Venasse
He must get cold during the Ides of March
When the weather is cold and the weather is harsh
By the side of the road in his little pond
Of him we are fond
007 James Bond
Just not quite as cool
The oar is his tool
Seem him on the way when my bro speeds to school
The boy in the boat is all alone
If he will build it then they will come
But until then what�s he gonna do in between
The time, five to nine, and you know he ain�t mean
George Foreman�s Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grill Machine
Can�t travel like Costner in Field of Dreams
Playin that stupid game called Quidditch
Just like you bitch, you fuckin biznitch
Spacing out like 2001 Odessy
King of the world and the name is MC
What is the key to unlock the mystery
If he falls off the boat
Will he sink or will he float
Where�s that pig, that chicken, and kid goat
It sucks to have a hole
It�s like watching The Mole
Go get me something to drink
Beer or soda, no water from the sink
The boy in the boat wishes he could fly
What is this shit, tastes like Canada Dry
Oh me oh my, really dig this apple pie
I don�t mind to die if you slip me twenty-five
I�m the lord of the land
All the girlies want my hand
Rappin about the boy in the boat and my name is MC Dan
The boy in the boat is all alone
If he will build it then they will come
But until then what�s he gonna do in between
The time, five to nine, and you know he ain�t mean
George Foreman�s Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grill Machine
Can�t travel like Costner in Field of Dreams
Stop by my crib around quarter to seven
I�m roasting that pig, kid goat, and chicken
I see her finger lickin
You know what I be thinking
Don�t you be stickin your frickin in my Dickens
Try to get higher on the payroll
Like what�s his face from A Christmas Carol
I wonder if the boy will come to my house
Or if he�s trippin out like Mickey the Mouse
Up the blouse, I�d like to fondle
Using words that don�t make sense, like grundle
Oh fuck there�s a brook leading to his lake
It�s too late, there he goes
Floating away and blowing his nose
And now he feels great cuz he�s goin site seein
Just like in European
Vacation
Without hesitation
Leaving his home without his mama
Just like that faggot Harry the Wonder Llama
Shit I pressed that button
Now MC Dan be Stray Cat Struttin
Into deep space deep into nothing
Gave my rhymes for a dime
And some Robotussin
The boy in the boat is all alone
If he will build it then they will come
But until then what�s he gonna do in between
The time, five to nine, and you know he ain�t mean
George Foreman�s Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grill Machine
Can�t travel like Costner in Field of Dreams
The boy in the boat is all alone
If he will build it then they will come
But until then what�s he gonna do in between
The time, five to nine, and you know he ain�t mean
George Foreman�s Lean Mean Fat Reducing Grill Machine
Can�t travel like Costner in Field of Dreams
Jawz
Come and go skinny dippin
I�m waiting here trippin
You flippin and skippin
Why not take a dip in
The Atlantic
You don�t panic
Don�t get frantic
You go swimming at night
Get a thrill and a fright
Alright, you in my sight
Stop thrashin and crashin
I only want a bite
I�m starving and carvin
My teeth in you thigh and head
Leaving only and arm and a leg
On the beach to teach
Hey guess what, you�re dead
Tell me who need claws
When you�re the master of disaster Jawz
With teeth like saws people I will gnaw
Hey, what�s up your craw
Better get your daughter outta the water
Cuz you�d hate to hear I got her
Look at the remains
I�m insane, publicity I gain
But anyway, back to the remains
Aren�t they just a little grody
Why get involved, Chief Brody
You don�t know me
You don�t owe me
But you keep tryin to kill me
But I chill, got strong will
Take my vitamin pill
And I�m hangin like Mr. Cooper
Tough like a Super Trooper
Get outta my way y�all
I�m comin after Hooper
Seeing now that you can�t win
Freakin out when you see the shark fin
You get me, better get my next of kin
I�m coming after you next, Quint
And your little boat of tin
It�s nothing, it�s a sin
You chasing me
You gracing me with your presence
I think I�ll turn on you
It was nice to meet you
You see, I defeat you
I�m gonna eat you
You�d better hope that I don�t
Bite your throat
I could eat a goat
That fell into my moat
I think you know
Gonna need a bigger boat
That will always float
When hit the high note
You�d better book
I don�t cook
Now look as I go back to the hook
Tell me who needs claws
When you�re the master of disaster Jawz
With teeth like saws people I will gnaw
Hey, what�s up your craw
Better get your daughter
Outta the water
Cuz you�d hate to hear I got her
My favorite part is the rump
My place is a dump
Here I come
Dah dum dah dum dah dum
I am mean, senses keen
I eat meat, play that theme
Joke all you want
Drink all you got
Talk all the talk
The Orca I haunt
Human race I taunt
People get off my case
Oh now it�s a race to the place
You call the beach
Sorry, it�s outta reach
Just when you thought it was safe
To bathe in the lake
Here I�m gonna take
To my fave, human cake
So now it seems
Everybody screams
But you haven�t been able to see the cut scenes
The movie soon done
Well it�s been fun
Look I ate someone
Ah, now Quint is gone
I could eat till dawn
I could eat a fawn
I will not be a pawn
On Spielberg�s lawn
Watch it I�m a loan
Compare me to a toad
Who are you, David the gnome
Well my reign had flowed
Now Brody glowed
So to end the flick
Shave it with Schick
I continue to swim
Uh oh I just explode
Tell me who needs claws
When you�re the master of disaster Jawz
With teeth like saws people I will gnaw
Hey, what�s up your craw
Better get your daughter
Outta the water
Cuz you�d hate to hear I got her
Like I�m Al Capone
Some people say I�m hip, some people say I�m phat
I say I�m Sammy Sosa with a corked baseball bat
Well look at that, I�m a snack, I�m back in black
I�m bad for you like a heart attack
Or a Frido-Lay
Hey, so watchya gonna say when MC saves the day
I�m mysterious just like Mysterio
So high not even Spider-man would know
I blast my stereo and melt Frosty in the snow
And just like Dominos
I deliver in the middle of the night
But the kids are all right
Except they block my line of sight
Which is important to me
As anyone would see
Don�t want to hit the tree as I drive my Mercury
You know who I be, MC, that�s me, Whoopi in Sister Act 2
Damn that movie blew
When I say blew I don�t mean the color, I mean the movie sucked
Like a hillbilly driving his red pickup truck
Like the Trix rabbit I am out of luck
And like Pam Anderson, I keep getting fucked
Damn, go Tommy Lee you earned the jealousy of the best MC
They call me MC Dan and say I fuckin own
Cuz I smuggle shit just like Al Capone
Can you hear me now though I�m not on the phone
I smuggle the goods like I�m Al Capone
They call me MC Dan and say I fuckin own
Cuz I smuggle the rhymes just like I�m MC Gold
Can you hear me now though I�m not on the phone
I smuggle the goods like I�m Al Capone
Some people say I suck, some people say I�m a geek
But at least I don�t call a three prong fork a fuckin threek
Watchin the Sox and I can do the freak
But only in the middle of the seventh inning
So motherfuckers, how �bout that for skill
If I had propane I�d be the King of the Hill
So come on Bruce Lee try to break my will
Tell me what�s wrong with me like I�m on Dr. Phil
Oh what�s this, oh you can�t
Maybe that�s cuz I am just the fuckin man
I�m to you what Jesus was to Mary Magdolin
I�ll steal oil just like I was France
�Oh no, did he go there?
Hold on, MC, I think you�re being unfair.�
Well guess what motherfuckers, I don�t really care
Why not go and fuck in clouds like you were Care Bears
They call me MC Dan and say I fuckin own
Cuz I smuggle shit just like Al Capone
Can you hear me now though I�m not on the phone
I smuggle the goods like I�m like Al Capone
They call me MC Dan and say I fuckin own
Cuz I smuggle the rhymes just like I�m MC Gold
Can you hear me now though I�m not on the phone
I smuggle the goods like I�m Al Capone
Some people say I rock, some people say I rule
But I say I�m hotter than a firefighting Jewel
I�m a crazy fool like Will Farrell in Old School
But unlike Elf I�m just too fuckin cool
When I put on my shades I look like Elwood
Or his buddy Jake who was up to no good
Of course John Belushi is the very best man
Which means a lot coming from the one MC Dan
Sporting a Sox cap and two Puma wrist bands
I�m too sexy for my own fuckin hands
Although I�m a rapper I�ll never commit a crime
Maybe cuz I�m white and the next Optimus Prime
God I hate Time and I despise lemon-lime
But I got some phat rhymes that make the ladies cry
I�m a fuckin lullaby, all the homies love my style
I still rock at hip hop after such a long while
�That�s not a knife, that�s a knife�
I got more blade Dundee and Cloud Strife
If you�re a pretty bitty then get into my life!
They call me MC Dan and say I fuckin own
Cuz I smuggle shit just like Al Capone
Can you hear me now though I�m not on the phone
I smuggle the goods like I�m Al Capone
They call me MC Dan and say I fuckin own
Cuz I smuggle rhymes just like I�m MC Gold
Can you hear me now though I�m not on the phone
I smuggle the goods like I�m Al Capone
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