(We see two dudes in the bathroom. Marvin is sitting on the toilet. Drake is standing and leaning back against the sink. There is just silence and a bit of tension. They are both sort of staring at the ground. One of their watches beeps.)
Marvin:
Switch.
(Marvin stands up and switches positions with Drake so that now Drake is sitting and Marvin is standing. There is still a bit of tension.)
Di�did you try the knob?
Drake:
(sarcastically) Oh! The knob! No, I didn�t even think of that. (bitter) Of course I tried the knob. It won�t turn. You idiot!
Marvin:
You, sir, have insulted my honor.
(Marvin turns around to face the sink. He starts washing his hands. He takes a long time doing so. Then he sort of dries his hands with the towel, but they are still wet, so Marvin turns around to face Drake and flicks the water on his hands at Drake.)
Drake:
(confused and angry) That�s it?
Marvin:
Y�yah. Wha�what did you expect?
(Cut to just a moment ago when Marvin is washing his hands. It is the same scene playing all over again, except when he dries his hands on the towel and turns to face Drake, he doesn�t flick. Instead, a boxer comes out from offscreen and punches Drake in the face. Then cut back to real-time in the bathroom.)
Drake:
I don�t know. (pause) Listen, we�ve been here for a while now. We need to find something we can eat.
Marvin:
(excited) Oh! I know just the thing!
(Marvin turns around to face the sink again. He turns on the water and we see him fiddle with something. We can�t see what he�s doing though. Cut over to Drake who is watching Marvin do whatever it is he is doing. After a little while, Marvin turns around and points to the sink.)
Marvin:
Ta da!
Drake:
(stands up to look at what�s in the sink.) What is it?
Marvin:
Soup!
Drake:
Are those Q-tips?
Marvin:
Well�I had to improvise a little.
Drake:
It looks like you just took some pills from the medicine cabinet and threw them into the sink.
Marvin:
That�s not true. There�s also hemorrhoid cream to spice it up.
(Marvin takes a cup and scoops up some of the soup. He looks at Drake and hands him the cup.)
Here. Try it!
Drake:
(He takes the cup from Marvin. Without taking his eyes off of Marvin, he grabs the cup and pours it into the toilet. After it�s all out. He hands the cup back to Marvin)
Oh yah. That was great! Thanks!
(He flushes the toilet.)
Marvin:
(waits until it�s done flushing.) So�you like it? (Drake flushes again.)
(Cut away after about half of the second flush to two people sitting at a table inside a little caf�.)
Alyssa:
Where are they?
Doug:
Don�t know. Must be doing something important if they�re not here.
(cut back to the bathroom. We see a string of shots that sort of blend together before transitioning shots. It shows the two dudes changing positions. It shows time passing. It ends up back as it was before, with Marvin standing and Drake sitting.)
Drake:
(Frustrated) Gah, this is worse than the time we got stuck on the escalator.
(cut to a flashback of them going up an escalator. Then the escalator stops.)
Flashback Drake:
Ah, now I�m going to be late!
(Cut back to them in the bathroom)
Drake:
Or the time we got stuck in the canoe.
(cut to a flashback of them in a canoe. The shot is at an angle so that you can�t see the ground, just the canoe and the sky.)
Flashback Drake:
I told you, PORT means left!
(The camera pulls back to reveal that they are sitting in a canoe in the middle of a baseball or soccer field.)
Starboard means right! We should have went right! I told you right!
Flashback Marvin:
(out of it) Hmm�did you remember the bait?
(cut back to real-time of them in the bathroom.)
Marvin:
Or the time we got stuck in the bathroom.
(Drake gives him an evil look. Then someone knocks on the door.)
Steve:
Hey, you okay in there?
Marvin:
Yah, we�re fine. Thanks for asking though!
Drake:
What?
Steve:
Whoa, we? Why are you both in the bathroom together?
Drake:
We�re stuck in here!
Steve:
Okay�why are you both stuck in the bathroom together?
Marvin:
Because I can�t go without help.
Drake:
Shut up!
Short-Term Steve:
Okay, so really guys, how did you both get stuck in this bathroom together?
Marvin:
Don�t ask questions, just go for help!
Drake:
(directed at Marvin) Shut up! (directed at Steve) Hey, listen man, go tell the guys of our situation and tell them that we will be a little late.
Steve:
Okay, dude, you got it. (runs off to get help.)
Marvin:
Eh, say, you think it was a good idea to send Short-Term Steve to go get help?
Drake:
Oh come on, we just told him. His memory can�t be that bad.
Cut to Steve on the phone in a different room
Steve:
Yah, I don�t know where they are!
Cut back to the bathroom
Drake:
Okay, it looks like we�re going to be in here for a while. We need to do something to pass the time.
Cut to them in a different room playing ping-pong for just a moment. Then cut back to the bathroom where they are.
Drake:
Well, that was fun.
Cut back to the caf�. Doug looks at his watch.
Doug:
Uh, I have to go to the bathroom.
He gets up to go to the bathroom. Cut to a front shot of him walking into the bathroom.
Doug:
Sorry I�m late, Gentlemen.
The camera swings around to see a bunch of men in suits standing around. Then someone else walks into the bathroom, to use it. Doug turns to him.
Doug:
Excuse me, sir, this is a private meeting.
Cut to Steve sitting and watching television. Next to him as a large, empty cup, a Big Gulp. He is sitting and moving in such a manner that you can tell he has to go to the bathroom. He keeps shifting. In a shot of him from the front, you cannot see what is on the television, but you can hear what the program�s narrator is saying.
Program Narrator:
The Hoover dam is one of the most impressive structures ever constructed by man. Built during the Great Depression, it took five years to build this impressive dam. The dam holds back thousands of gallons of flowing and crashing water from wetting lands that need not be wetted. The Colorado River flows 1,400 miles before reaching the wide, open area of water, which is the Gulf of California. The reservoir covers about 28 million acre-feet. That is 28 million acre-feet covered with that beautiful, flowing water. And after it rains, it then includes the falling rain and the little droplets that land on its calm surface.
As this is being said, you can see Steve continue to squirm, making it obvious he has to go to the bathroom. Steve looks like he is in pain.
Steve:
(Hurt) Uh�.. (thinking) Oh! (he runs to the bathroom but can�t open the door because it is stuck. He remembers) OH! (he runs off to another room)
Cut to Marvin and Drake in the bathroom.
Drake:
(frustrated) Up, well, I was wrong.
Cut back to Doug walking back and sitting down at the table.
Alyssa:
(worried) Doug, where were you? You were gone for three hours! Steve called about ten minutes ago; Marvin and Drake are stuck in their bathroom again!
Doug:
Relax, Alyssa. They�re just in the bathroom. How much trouble can they be in?
Cut to the bathroom with Drake and Marvin staring at a fire in the toilet.
Marvin:
Uh-oh�.
Drake:
See? I told you.
Cut back to the caf�.
Alyssa:
Well, I guess you�re right.
Doug:
Yah, but knowing them, they�re probably trying to kill each other. Like remember the time they fought in the elevator?
Cut to Drake and Marvin fighting on an elevator with other people on it. After a little while of this, cut back to the caf�.
Alyssa:
Maybe we should go help them?
Doug:
Yah, maybe.
Doug takes a sip of his coffee. He looks down at it and after a long pause of the two just sitting there drinking coffee
Mmmm�This is good coffee.
Cut back to Marvin and Drake in the bathroom. They are fighting.
Marvin:
No, I won the fight on the elevator! I knocked you out!
Drake:
No�you knocked out that old lady.
Marvin:
Yah�well�you sat on that baby!
They continue to fight for a while. Then they hear a loud splash and the stop and stare at the camera. Then, after a little while, the camera swings around to show what they are really staring at, which is a large shark fin in the toilet. Then there is a transition from the scene with the fighting to a scene with them in just normal, calm positions, both are standing. Time has passed.
Drake:
Okay, we need to work together. Yes, we�ve had our differences in the past: I�m a Celtics fan, you�re a Lakers fan. I�m a Coke guy, you�re a Pepsi guy. I did pot, you did play-doh.
Marvin:
Yah, until I got caught.
Cut to Marvin in his room sniffing play-doh. After a moment of him doing this alone and in silence, a bunch of detectives burst in and knock him down and hold his hands behind his back. Then we see a detective wearing gloves cautiously putting play-doh into a ziplock bag. Then we see two detectives examining some other play-doh. One of them rubs his finger against the play-doh and then licks his finger.
Detective:
It�s pure.
Cut back to Marvin and Drake in the bathroom.
Drake:
I�m a die-hard Sox faithful, and you (there is a loud noise from the toiled) forgot to feed the Toilet Shark!
Marvin:
It�s not my responsibility!
Drake:
We were taking turns feeding it!
Marvin:
(Preparing for a fight) Oh, you want to go? Come on, let�s go. I took out that old lady, I can take you out too!
They start to fight again. Then, out of the shower, comes a girl. Marvin and Drake stop fighting and stare at her. She has a name tag that has her name on it, which is Michelle.
Marvin:
Oh, great. Another person is in here! We�re never going to get out of here!
Drake:
Who are you?
Michelle:
Locksmith.
Drake:
(surprised but calm) �huh�Can ya�can you open this door?
Michelle:
Sure.
She walks to the door and starts to fiddle with the knob. Then she just stops and looks over at the toilet.
Is�that a Toilet Shark?
Drake:
Yah.
Marvin:
We named it Boner! (NOTE: can change to a more appropriate name if we find this is too inappropriate for the festival.)
Drake:
Shut up!
Michelle:
(goes back to fixing the knob.) �huh�. (the door becomes unlocked and she opens the door.)
Drake:
Cool, thanks.
Michelle:
No problem.
They all start to leave the bathroom.
Drake:
Say�what were you doing in the shower, anyway?
Michelle:
Sleeping.
Drake:
Oh, yah, okay. (Michelle exists the scene)
Marvin:
Hey, we should meet Doug and Alyssa at the caf�.
Drake:
Yah, good call. Hold on though, I want to change first.
The two go into another room. Drake goes into his closet to find something to wear. Marvin follows him in and the door closes. The camera holds on the door so that you can just hear them through the door.
What are you doing, Marvin?
Marvin:
Just seeing what you were going to wear.
Drake:
Marvin�get out.
Marvin fiddles with the knob, but he can�t open the door.
Marvin:
Um�.say, Drake?
Drake:
Get out!
Marvin:
I can�t! The door�s stuck!
Drake:
Oh god no!
There is a fairly long pause
Marvin:
Heh heh�hey�..hey. Isn�t this funny? Isn�t it? It�s pretty ironic, wouldn�t you say? It�s pretty ironic? Really, who was expecting this, huh? Pretty ironic. Pretty funny. I mean, what are the odds? Huh? Huh? Drake? What are the odds?
Drake:
�Shut up�
Marvin:
Okay, okay. (long pause) Tag! You�re it!
Drake:
Eh�stop that. Stop that! (another pause) Um�What are you doing?
Marvin:
Looking for a locksmith.
Drake:
Oh god�.
The camera zooms out and then pans to the left. There is a western looking man standing there looking at the door. When the camera stays still on him, he looks directly at the camera instead of the door.
Western Man:
And that�s the story of how them two crazy boys kept gettin� stuck together. Just goes to show that ya can�t test fate. Well folks, I�ll see y�all next time. (slight pause) Now enjoy the next program, a documentary about the Hoover Dam.
The credits roll as we hear the narration from the program Steve was watching about the Hoover Dam.
Narrator:
The Hoover Dam was built in less than five years, during the Great Depression. Some 16,000 people worked on the building of the dam. People were desperate to make some money during the economic hardships. They lived in shacks next to the Colorado River with their wives and children. About 96 people died in industrial accidents and several dozens died from heat or carbon monoxide. Many of the workers� family members also died from the heat, polluted waters, and diseases. But after all the hard work, farmers were finally able to receive a dependable supply of water in the desert areas, and thousands were given a dependable source of electricity that was inexpensive. And the dam today still stands as one of the wonders of the modern world.
END
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