| People like me kill people like him. |
| There are people in my school. They should die. Among the people though is one complete and total dipshit. He shall remain nameless however so that you, the reader, may liken him to whomever you wish. There are one of him in every school, you should have no trouble. Let's start with a little backround on this imbecilic twit. He's a jock. Not just any jock however, the difinitive jock. Girls consider him "hot", guys consider him intimidating. Everybody likes him. The reason for this is the human race itself is superficial beyond remedy. From hereon I will refer to the subject of this article as Moron McDipshit. Moron is rich, he dates cheerleaders, he copies ALL of his homework from fellow dipshits and still can't manage to get decent grades. He receives an ill-deserved, high allowance and has girls fawning over him constantly. He goes out of his way to be a complete asshole, and people love him for it. Now you may have just thought to yourself, "HEY! Scott, you're an asshole!" Well if so, fuck you. You're right of course though, I am an asshole, but people hate me, so I have immunity from my own criticism. I am not writing this article just because I'm a bitter no-life with a jealousy complex, that's only part of it. Moron makes me physically ill when I think about him. A special informant of mine has given me access to a few conversations with him, which has further opened my eyes to how much he should die. Time for some anecdotes. In sixth grade he went out with this extremely hot (suprisingly hot for a sixth grader) girl, who was probably a cheerleader. They never kissed, and they broke up in seventh grade I believe. She broke up with him about the time she started developing real breasts, so naturally Moron was hurt. He started acting suicidal and depressed as a pathetic attempt to get her back. I have to admit at this time I did feel sorry for him, no matter how stupid you are, losing the privalege to breasts is a heavy blow. I really did do my best to comfort and be nice to him during the initial 3 months of his depressive mood. Eventually though I saw what he was doing. He was FAKING DEPRESSION!! Why, to attract girls of course. Why is depression a turn-on you ask? It's not, but girls are astoundingly more superficial than guys, so it doesn't matter. Girls see weakness of emotion as an excuse to get close to a person. Now, I am a very tolerant person when it comes to these type of things, so at this point I did still get along with Moron. It doesn't end here though. We have to run the mile on a weekly basis at our school. I happened to be running alongside Moron, as well as some other people. While we were running he decided it would be a good idea to trip some seventh graders. Now we all know. It is ALWAYS a good idea to trip seventh graders. I usually leave it there though. Moron thought it would be even funnier if he beat them to the ground, the small ones anyway. I actually found that quite amusing as well until I saw the immense bruises on the teary-eyed seventh graders. I talked to Moron about it later. He meant to make them cry. He meant to hurt them, because he could. This is the type of thing he does on a daily basis. I may not be the most ethical person in the world, but I don't take pleasure in other people's suffering. People laugh at Moron's jokes. Moron's jokes are not funny. Moron's idea of a joke is farting, and then saying loudly, "I farted." I am not exagerating, it has happened. It is people like him that have destroyed my faith in the human race. People should die. |
| 5/30/03 |