Jock Poem
(I know this one isn't my best work, being that I wrote it at 3 a.m. with a severe headache, but I've decided to post and publish it anyway so that I may help people see things through the eyes of Jocks.  Those poor souls...)
This morning, when I awoke, my body was already sore
Probably from the cheerleaders I'd nailed the day before. . .
Anyway, after much debate,  I stumbled out of bed,
and DAMN IT ALL!  When I stood up, my chandleer hit me on my head.
Later, while I was eating, my butler tripped, fell and broke his nose.
The sad thing about it is, he landed on my toes. 
Then, he had forgot to ask if I had been okay!
So I fired his ass and made sure he was out that very day.
By continuing with my life I knew I was just tempting my bad luck.
And sure enough, one of my girlfriends denied me an unprotected fuck.
Before I got around to breaking her jaw, she pulled out some of my hair!
This flawed my god-like appearence!! DAMN! Life just isn't fair!
Fate is oh-so-cruel. . .It seems I never get a break.
All I ever do is give.  And all the world does it take.
For instance, one day I leant a dollar to a bum.
When he refused to pay me my interest, I was forced to break his thumb.
Oh it's tough being such a great, but unlucky guy. . .
I guess Scott was right, as he always is, It'd be best if I would die.
(7/25/03) [Written 7/21/03]
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