| Jocks: A mere annoyance, or the bringers of armageddon? |
| Jocks. . . does any other word make you feel like spewing vomit and intestinal fluids from your mouth more than this one word does? I think not. I hate jocks. Don't get me wrong, I hate everybody. . .but jocks take the giant bullshit cake. I don't mean to suggest that all people who play sports suck (though most of them do.) I am writing this solely on JOCKS, the slang for those meat-head guys who are good for nothing but sports, and bullshitting. These incompitent neanderthals are generally the heiarchy of any school in the Middle School-High School grade level. Why you may ask? Because People suck. The popularity aspect of any school is nothing but a superficial contest of beauty, physical strength, and ass-hood*. Currently, my life consists of school and home, so I have had numerous opportunities to observe these pathectic jocks in their daily activities. These are the kind of people you see bumping chests with each other, shoving smaller kids into lockers, or copying homework of other (stupid) students. Also, there is another stupid habit I find common among jocks. . .Shoulder bumping in the hallways. You are trying to get to class (or some other place on campus) when a jock that you don't get along with passes you in the hallway. Instead of just moving past you or bending his body ever so slightly, he rams his shoulder into yours, to get you to move. WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THIS? You think you're a man because you bumped me with your shoulder? A jock bumped me with his shoulder the other day. I spun around and kicked his ass. I hate jocks. . . Perhaps you think I'm being sterotypical. If so. . .Newsflash critics! They are stereotypes for a reason! If there weren't countless high school sports junkies who can't pronounce words of more than 4 syllables, the stereotype wouldn't have been created in the first place. Jocks suck, and they've sucked for a long time, and they will continue to suck for a long time. . . However, jocks do more than just make me vomit, this idealization of jocks is severely distorting the views of the young (stupid) and impressionable, Middle School students for example. I've surveyed a few acquantances of mine a while ago, asking what they would change about themselves if they could. 9 out of 10 said they wanted better athlectic ability. (The tenth wanted to be a woman, I will post his e-mail here later so you can harass him.) That means that all of my STRAIGHT friends would prefer physical prowess over mental accuity. Perhaps you think my friends are satsified with their intelligence because they are smart. WRONG! My friends are complete idiots, and have already been favoring athlectics for too long. What is wrong with my friends you may ask? Do they honestly think that athlectic skill, physical strength and outwad beauty are going to get them far in life? Gee, I wonder why. . .Perhaps they just picked up on the fact that the average NBA player makes more yearly than the president of the United States. Or maybe they figured out that a successful model makes more than a High School Teacher. (but then again, who doesn't?) Now I wouldn't be complaining about jocks so much if I didn't have a solution. . .Every sports player in the world should be thrown into a giant rat maze! To make it fair we'll give them a map. Just in case, one of them has an IQ point though, the exit will also need to be blocked off with an electric fence. They will wander around that maze for years before one of them is hit with the idea of going back out through the entrance, and by that time, most of them would be dead, from having pissed on the electric fence. (I, personally will hang up a sign on the fence reading, piss here, It's the latest fassion) |
| 4/28/03 |
| *ass-hood - The condition of being an ass. |