| Girls: The Universe doesn't revolve around you! It revolves around me! |
| Ok, today sucked. It was rainy, so I couldn't head out to my usual perch at the side of the field. For a while I wandered around campus trying to find the people I usually hang out with. (By hang out with I mean, watch from afar, pretending to be one of them.) Eventually I saw a familiar face, the clear face of a girl who's been in almost all of my classes for the past three years, a girl who I generally get along with, a girl who laughs at my jokes and (I would assume) respects incredible intelligence. I called out to her to ask her as to the whereabouts of our mutual friends. She turned and literally cringed. Now she was walking with a friend, and her friend sped up immediately. This is not because I am not a fun person to talk to. . .I mean come on. . .Damn do I rule? Oh yeah. The reason they sped up was because, like all girls, they assumed that if I was trying to talk to them outside of class, or our (emphasize OUR) group of friends, I am obviously trying to ask them out. It's just so apparent because who wouldn't want to ask out such a perfect human being such as her, nobody, especially not a lowly peasant kid like me. Oh please. I know exactly what she was thinking so don't try to hit me with that. I've spent my entire life reading people, and girls have little to no depth so they are specifically easy. (AVERAGE girls) Anyway, back to my story. When her friend sped up I also sped up and the girl was forced to...CONVERSE with me. I caught a few warning glances from her friend as if to say "Hurry, get out of there now, he's obviously going to grab you and kiss you and you're going to catch a bad case 'ugly!'" (for those morons out there, yes I know that ugly is not a noun, I was doing to to furhter illustrate the idiocy of the girl) Now I'm sure I should've thought of a better lead-in sentence for my question but I said, "Hey, I need to ask you something." A look of dread immediately wiped her face clean of any remnant of her dignity. She stared in horror, ghastly afraid that a troll such as I dare speak to her in a non-platonic manner. She just kinda turnd and walked away saying "I gotta go." before I had a chance to say anything more. WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Now I'm no idiot, I said I can read people, and I can read myself just as well. I know my limitations all too well. I know that I am probably destined to be miserable and alone until I'm rich enough to attract gold diggers and prostitutes. (currently highschool cheerleaders) However, if I WERE to decide to throw caution to the wind, what makes ANYBODY think that I would go ask out someone like her (or anybody else at my school, for that matter) You know the type I'm talking about. Girls that have spent their entire life trading off of their looks to get what they want, or sometime just to tease guys. A good appearance really is a GREAT advantage in life. It gives you the right to totally devoid yourself of anything resembling opinion, personality, or intelligence. Do you know what the sad thing is though? Beautiful people pity me. HA HA! PITY!...ME! I deserve NO pity, a good appearance is exactly wehat I stated earlier, a GREAT advantage. Appearance will help you a lot in life, girls. Keep those skirts short, those shirts white, and those bras lacy. No matter how much of an advantage you have in life, you will NEVER surpass ME, or anyone else for that matter. Cheerleaders: I will always look down on you, and not just because your tits are always hanging out, but because I'm superior to you. Now I am not talking to every beautiful girl, or EVERY cheerleader, I happen to know some very human beautiful people, but odds are, if you are reading this, and are offended, you are not one of them. I could write SO much more but I am running out of spcace. . .So, I will end this with a difinitive statement followed by a comprehensive guide to girls. Most girls suck. You may use the following guide to find out if you are one of them. You suck if: You've ever pitied me (note difference between sympathy and pity) You're blonde inside and out You constantly break dress code just because you like the attention You've ever rejected me You've ever rejected me twice You've ever rejected me three times (yes it has happened) You are the girl in the mall who rejected me by laughing hysterically You attend Hoover Middle School in Merced California You list your friends in your profile (You such even more if you apolagize to the ones you left out) You have an N'SYNC cd You think 'ugly' is contagious You've ever gone out with Darrick Parker or David Marsh and havn't washed out your mouth with sulfuric acid. You wear provacative clothing but have never allowed a guy to second base You are offended by anything on this page |
| 5/2/03 |