He hated times like these. Times when he had nothing to do, when his conscious had the time to add up what had happened. He could kill, and kill very efficiently, but the deaths always seemed to haunt him. He tapped a button on his implant, and a vidscreen appeared on it. Nothing, still the same black empty space that he had been looking at since they left Earth six hours ago. He would have tried talking to N�tn�see or William or Jean, but they had all decided to use the time to catch up on some well-deserved sleep. He should be doing the same, but he simply had too much on his mind. A deep stab of regret tore at him from all directions, as if to make sure he didn�t forget Hisheena�s sacrifice.
He decided to walk up to the recreational deck. He headed for the Gym, and approached the bench press. He put a hundred and fifty pounds on each side, and layed down on the bench. The adrenaline still ran through his blood, so the bar seemed strangely lighter to him. He put his energy into the bar, hoping to relieve himself of this tension. He put the bar back, disappointed. He went up the stairs to the running track, and sprinted for two hundred meters. At fifteen seconds, he crossed the 200 mark. Nothing was working; this feeling would not leave him. He fell to his knees and screamed, let his anger transmit through his lungs. He let the last of the air in his lungs out, and placed his head in his hands. He wanted to rip his hair out, but a hand grabbed his shoulder.
He looked up, and N�tn�see looked back. Normally this wasn�t something he�d want his squad members to witness, but N�tn�see was different. N�tn�see was a very close friend of David�s, someone he could trust both on and off the battlefield. His eyes were full of acceptance and caring, his hand gave a firm squeeze on David�s shoulder. He rose to his feet, and looked N�tn�see in the eyes.
�Sir, there was nothing you could have done. Hisheena�s sacrifice was the only way for you to ensure the safety of the rest of your team, not to mention the countless civilians that would have been left unprotected. She died a death most of us can only dream of, and it is our duty to make sure that her service to her people and the Alliance is honored.� David considered his words. They seemed to lift his guilt a little, and he regained control of himself. He drew in a deep breath and exhaled. He looked up, and saw that N�tn�see was still studying him.
�Thanks, N�tn�see. I just can�t get the feeling off my mind that I may have somehow failed you, my team, as a leader. A leader gets his men home.�
�No sir, a leader makes sure that his team fulfills their duty. You�ve done more than that, and Hisheena just saw her opportunity and took it� he paused. He looked David over, then back into his eyes. �You need rest. We won�t be on Mars for at least another week, and you need to be restored to full health by then.� David agreed with him, and his words seemed to calm him further. They walked to the end of the room to the elevator, and it dragged them down to the living quarters. He stopped at his bunk, and turned to N�tn�see.
�Thanks, I must have just let too much build up. Perhaps some sleep will help.� For the first time in his life, David saw N�tn�see show the slightest twitch of a smile. He turned and continued down the hall to his bunk. David hoisted himself onto the bed that sat five feet off the ground. He swung his lower body over the rail and onto the bed, and layed down on his back. His muscles� aches were finally catching up with him, but his guilt seemed to leave him. He closed his eyes, and let the bliss of unconsciousness take him.
Almost twelve hours after leaving Earth, the dropships had finally regrouped and docked. Their interlock hardware allowed them to dock with a theoretically infinite amount of ships. The cluster formed a 3-D honeycomb shape, with the few surviving military ships leading the front.
The ships, though quiet as ghosts, were restless. People just couldn�t sleep; the thought of leaving Earth behind, along with family and friends, was eating away at everyone�s consciousness. David couldn�t stop thinking about what might have happened had their peace mission succeeded. He switched his attention, knowing what-ifs were a waste of time. What he needed to focus on now was helping the last of Earth�s survivors make it on Mars. Then, the enemy would pay.
They would take back Earth, push the enemy back, and annihilate their planet. It wasn�t fair, damn it. Too many innocent lives had been lost, and David made it his personal goal to make sure they did not die in vain.
David began to dream again. He saw Hisheena, hanging over a cliff edge, begging for his help. Her grip was slipping, and David stood right there with her at the top of the ledge. He knelt down, patted her on the head, and stood. He turned to leave off into the infinite green plains, and didn�t wake until he had heard Hisheena�s final scream. He shot up out of his bed, knocked his skull against the ceiling, and drifted back into another dream.
