By: Pepper2000

A story.  By me.

Jackson would rather go by Jack.  Not that it matters,
because everyone is in agreement that it doesn't.  Well,
Jack lived in a fairly wealthy area and had nothing to
worry about.  As the opening credits roll, friendly music
plays to subconsciously reinforce the idea of peace and
tranquility in Jack's world.

One day, Jack went out for a walk near his anonymous
place of employment.  He met a girl he had never seen
before.  We'll call her Alicia.  Jack suddenly fell in
love with her and vowed to talk to her someday.

Decades passed.  Finally, Jack mustered up the courage to
talk with Alicia.

"How's it going?" He asked.
"Great."  Alicia replied, and quickly added, "I'm off to
meet my boyfriend, Big Joe."

Jack was heartbroken.  But oh well.

The next day, Jack went out to the supermarket, Friendly
Market.  You see, it was a very friendly place.  Jack
ambled down the warehouse-sized hallways looking for
food.  He spent a lot of time and money in the store
today, because he read on the Internet that the world was
going to end the next day and he wanted to be prepared.
He bumped into his good friend Rudy.

"Hey Rudy!  What's up today?" Jack asked.  Not so much
that he genuinely cared but needed something to distract
himself from imminent death and the loss of the girl of
his dreams.

Before Rudy could answer, the store's loudspeaker kicked
in.  "This is just a reminder, we love you very much here
at Friendly Market."

"Awwww!" exclaimed all the shoppers in unison.  But the
manager of the store left the speakers on.  "Lousy,
ingrateful customers."

"Hey, that's a good one." said Jack.  He obviously did
not understand the manager was serious.  The camera
zoomed in on Rudy's face as he began a more serious
statement.

"Jack, what do you think?"

"You can't ask what I think until I know what you want to
hear me say what I think about what."

Rudy agreed and left the store.  Jack shrugged and said
"hmmm".

Jack decided he was bored shopping and stocking up for
the upcoming apocolypse, so he decided to head down to
the local skating rink to unwind.

"Ah, I think I will go to the local skating rink to
unwind."

Not very coincidentally, Jack's friend Emily was also at
the skating rink.  Emily approached Jack and began to talk
up quite a storm.

"I sent you some e-mail, and then I left a phone message
to tell you about the e-mail, and now I'm telling you
about the message.  It's important, believe me."

"Isn't e-mail wonderful?" Emily continued.  Afterall,
e-mail is new so it must be wonderful.

"Yes it is.  You probably sent that message a week ago,
but at least I received it in seconds."

Oblivious to the sarcasm, Emily continued.  "Anyway, I
sent you some important e-mail."

Suddenly the sky darkened.  Everyone in the skating rink
looked up in horror.  A cloud had passed over the sun and
blocked the light.  But within moments the cloud passed
and the world was again safe.

Everyone sighed in relief.  Jack decided his career did
not lie in skating and decided to go home.

********MEANWHILE*************

Evil Bob sat in his office and laughed an evil laugh.
"Ha ha ha ha ha!  Soon, you will be mine!"

Evil Bob gazed over the city of New York from his 99th
story window.  "You pathetic creatures will do my bidding
or die!"

The fly on the window continued to crawl undaunted.  "So?
You think you just do whatever you want, huh?"  Bob
pulled out his fly swatter and swung at the fly.  He
missed, and the fly escaped through the air duct.

"You win this round, but I will kill you yet!"  Bob
laughed and laughed and laughed until his stomach became
sore and he had to get back to work.

*********************************

Jack came home that day and checked to see if he had any
homework to do.  "C'mon.  No homework, no homework, no
homework, no..."

"Dangabbit!"  Jack's assignment pad indicated a biology
paper due the next day.  He fired up his old computer to
get to work, but with any luck the phone would ring.

Well, the phone didn't ring.  Jack was a bit disappointed
because he wanted an excuse to stop working on his
homework.  It's just as well, the paper was short and
might as well be finished quickly.

"So, you must be the befabled 'Big Joe'".  Jack looked at
the taller, smarter, and more attractive person before
him.  "You think you can outsmart me?"

Jack pulled out a rubber band and shot Big Joe in the
forehead.  Joe fell down dead.

"Oh, my hero."  Alicia ran up to Jack and the two
embraced.  The rest of the scene is unfit for print.

The alarm clock rang, distracting Jack from his midnight
reverie.  "Oh no!  I fell asleep and never finished that
Biology paper."  Jack finished the paper in the five
minutes he had before school.  For the record, he got a
B on it.

Mrs. Snickerpunkle stood up in front of Jack's history
class.  She must have been at least 150 years old in
Jack's estimation.  And perhaps the most boring person on
earth.  "All right class..."  But before she could say
"Pull out your history books and open them to page 6"
like Jack assumed she would say, Mrs. Snickerpunkle
pulled off her wig to reveal "she" was in fact Jack's
long lost father.  And you thought this story wasn't
going anywhere.

Well, it isn't.  Then Jack went home because he became
bored.  "Isn't there anything interesting to do in this
town?"

Suddenly a voice appeared.  "What's wrong Jack?  Is my
world not good enough for you?  I gave you a school, a
bunch of friends who even have personalities, and I gave
you all the plot twists you could ever ask for.  What
more do you want? 3-D accelerated graphics?"

Jack was a bit surprised to speak with his writer, but he
answered the question.  "I want some sort of conclusion.
This story has been going on and on, and there is no sign
of any kind of underlying plot.  It's just a stupid
collection of random events."

"Very well" replied the writer.  "You can have your
'conclusion'.  But don't complain to me if you don't like
it."

Alicia, Rudy, Emily, Big Joe, Evil Bob, and Mrs.
Snickerpunkle appeared.  They stood around Jack in a
tight circle and confronted Jack.

Alicia started.  "So, you think I'll go out with you?
You are ugly, don't have a clue about combing hair, and
leave much to be desired in the hygiene department."

Rudy went next.  "You advice is completely useless.  You
just came up with a way to confuse me with you speech.
Though I will admit it was funny..."

Emily went next.  "You never reply to my e-mails.  I was
going to tell you that you could already be a winner, but
I guess it's too late for that now."

Big Joe went next.  "You are a sick-minded, little
pervert.  I won't explain any further."

Evil Bob wasn't a real character and had nothing to say.

Mrs. Sinckerpunkle spoke up last.  "I'm 137, not 150.
That was not funny."

Everyone closed in on Jack and killed him.

THE END

Story by            Michael Goff
Original concept by     Michael Goff
Original screenplay by      Michael Goff
Music composer          Michael Goff
Visual effects          Michael Goff
Lighting and camera     Michael Goff
Published by            Michael Goff
(C)opyright 1999 by     Michael Goff

Look for "A Story II: More Insanity" sometime in the
future.