| This is Your Brain on Sugar By Kristen Galiano Late one afternoon I was galloping through the woods on my horse, Mocha Punk. We crossed a bridge over a small stream surrounded by trees and entered a clearing. Twilight had come and it was very dumb to be there. Suddenly, I heard the putter of an old broken down car. I looked up and there was a giant banana coming straight down. It landed with an incoherent babble about television commercials. I was laughing so hard I almost fell off Mocha. �I�m seeing a big chicken walk out of a giant banana, it has to be some kind of freaky UFO,� I told myself. I told Mocha to move closer. I tried to touch the chicken�s rubber gloves with my shoe, but my gum bounced off a straight jacket that surrounded the suitcase the chicken was holding. Then a triangle opened in the banana�s side. A pair of baggy pants was lowered. Out came a tiny turkey with a nametag that said, �Hello, my name is Wheeznak, I come from the planet Zergon, you do not, so ha.� It had a hat like that of a fish. In two of it�s many hands it carried a machine that looked like a VCR. I think it took my underwear. Then the turkey, named Wheeznak, and the chicken, whose name I hadn�t caught, we�re taken up into the banana again. There was a squeal and the banana shot up. Then it changed course and hovered over my P-Brains CD. Suddenly, it was gone. On the ground where it had been was a single song lyric, �I know a girl named Suzanne.� I skipped home and told my neighbors about the Yankees game I had gone to that day. They said, �Fred, you�ve been reading too many romance novels!� But I decided to report the cheesy soap plot to my dog, Bob, anyway. And the moral of this story is: Don�t go looking for gold in a pool full of pudding, or you may have your favorite squort taken by a surfing ape from the Mediterranean Sea. This Is Your Brain On Sugar (Or Mine At Least) |