You
know You’ve been Watching Too Much Evangelion When...
...You
know that Shinji Ikari means Hatred of the Truth in Japanese.
...You
know what Gendo says to Ritsuko before he shoots her ("Watashi ai
anata"= "I love you")
...You’re
disappointed when the school guidance counselor says your not cut out for NERV
employment.
...You
watch Trainspotting and Eva 0:13 in the same session, run to the front door,
throw it open and scream: "CHOOSE LIFE!"
...No,
mom, you're not supposed to say 'Ohh, hi honey.' Here's how it works: I say
"I'm home" and you reply "Welcome home."
...You
sit in your chair with nothing to do and you say "I never thought that
doing nothing could be this exahusting"
...To
ask for an impossible favor you offer a steak dinner.
...You
notice that Yebisu beer is 100% alcohol.
...In
the Playstation game "Rival Schools" you always Use akira as your
back up character, because of her team up move.
...You
know the Names of all the NERV techs.
......You
send Evangelion postcards to everyone even though they don't know what
Evangelion is.
......In
ADV.(which stand for advisement in school)you think of Evangelion and ADVision.
......In
Social Studies class your teacher say to makeup an island.You name your island
Eva and put the capitol Tokyo-3.
......You
start acting like you favorite Eva character.
.......You
noticed Neon the beanie baby seahorse keep reminding you of NEON Genesis
Evangelion.
...Your
friends go to Japan and you throw a fit when they don't bring you anything back
that has to do w/ eva.
...You
get a Renault Alpine and try to park like Misato...and succeed
...You
take time to read this unbelievably long list (both pages).
...You
say, "It's hot" and your friend replies, "Yes."
...You
know you watch too much EVA when you start to bathe more frequently because it
cleans the mind and soul.
...Half
a maple leaf with the words "God's in his heaven, All's Right with the
World" appears in your dreams
...You
arrest your son when he doesn't come out of the car, and tell him that it is
against the law to use the car in a personal vendetta.
...Your
computer opens with Thesis of a Cruel Angel and closes with "Fly Me to the
Moon"
...You
cradle an injured girl, close your eyes and mumble "I mustn't run away"
over and over.
...You
keep on having flashbacks of yourself crying at age three when your mother
disappears.
...When
you wake up in a hospital, the first thing you think of is a giant eye
...You
get fired from your job as a street painter when you start painting the streets
with signs to warn motorists there is an EVA plug ahead.
...You
know the subtle differences between the translation of the Japanese version and
the dubbed version.
...You
saw Kaoru in Slayers Try.
...You
didn’t see Kaoru in Slayers Try because You were too busy watching Eva.
...You
see a window overlooking a large room and you avoid it because you're afraid
that Unit 00 will go berserk and try to smash it.
...You
blame passengers for creating "thought noise" when your car won't
start.
You get
in your friend's new Volkswagen and you begin thinking "bratwurst,
strudel..." and other German words so you don't mess up their
synchronization.
...Your
brother wants to name his daughter Angel and you say you'll name yours Eva, and
can't wait to see them fight.
...in
an awkward situation, you say nothing and stand perfectly still for an entire
minute.
...You
just start singing "Tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling dooooown"
...You
walk by Japanese people talking to each other, and look around for the
subtitles.
...When
asked to point Tokyo out on a map, you ask "1, 2, or 3?"
...You
arrive to the conclusion that Rei is not mentally insane.
...You
have an band, and then you realize that Evangelion has inspired you in most of
the lyrics of the tracks.
...Or
you do your own version of “Fly Me To The Moon.” (we did a Punk version. Riff
13)
... You
try to work out, genetically, if a 1/4 Japanese girl could have red hair and
blue eyes
...You
wish you could replace a V8 engine with an S2 engine
...Real
girls start to look less attractive
...You
start seeing lines, zig-zags, and other thickly drawn shapes in black on a
white background in your dreams.
...Every
time you dream, Shinji's voice repeats, "Enemy. Enemy. Enemy! ENEMY!”
...You're
pissed that your city doesn't have buildings that rise up out of the ground
like Tokyo-3 does.
...You
make a large hand-shaped indentation in you lawn and tell people that you narrowly
missed being crushed by a falling Unit 01 because you were between two of its
fingers.
...You
don't pay your power bill because you think that "all the power in Japan
is yours".
...You
slap anyone who hates their hard-to-know, emotionless father.
...You
go to driver training, and when the instructor asks the class to explain why
it's unsafe to pick up hitch-hikers, you scream, "You can't allow
unauthorized personnel into the entry plug!"
...Whenever
you kiss your boyfriend, you hold his nose because "it tickles my
face" then run off to the bathroom and start gargling madly.
...You
tell people that your computer was programmed using your mother's personality,
and it was divided into: Your mother as a woman, your mother as a parent/mother,
and your mother as a scientist.
...You
know almost all of the lines word perfect and when you watch an episode you can
speak along with it.
...You
make up an EVA drinking game
...After
you watch something you say "That was nothing compared to
Evangelion."
...You
take a psychology coarse just so you can better understand the mental
conditions of all the characters of Evangelion.
...You
learn to read Japanese just so you can play the Evangelion card game, or read
the imported manga you just bought.
...You
talk to someone for the first time and talk to them about Eva even though the
don’t even know what anime is.
You
sign everyones yearbook " Gods in his heaven all’s right with the
world"
...You
actually know that Robert Browning wrote that.
...You
decide to learn Japanese just so you can view the series in its unabridged,
undubbed, unsubbed glory.
...When
a girl complains she's on her period and you say "So? That shouldn't
affect your synch ratio."
...You
think about EVA more than you think of your Girlfriend/boyfriend.
...You
want to get the same walkman as Shinji.
...You
have dreams with subtitles.
...When
in a sticky situation you say " I mustn't runaway ... I mustn't
runaway" over and over
...You’re
doing a writing sample for school, you write one including every Eva character
you can fit, and Tokyo-3. Your teacher thinks it's highly original. You think
it's hilarious.
...You
convert your basement into an underground shelter just in case an Angel
attacks.
...You
realize that your friend CJ's name's closest translation in Japanese is Shinji.
...You
scour the nation's school uniform stores searching for Rei/Asuka's dress.
...You
take offense when your beloved calls you angel.
...Your
boyfriend tells you he's getting a second job, and you shoot him.
...You
buy a Frank Sinatra CD just so you have another version of "Fly Me To The
Moon".
...You
spend more money on Eva merchandise than on food.
...Someone
asks you to send them a .wav file for them to identify you by, and you send
Asuka shouting, "Are you an idiot?!"
...You
give someone a lecture on tenshi vs. shito and they say "Enough, I've
already heard it!"
...You
cried when you finished the last Eva movie.
...You
have ICQed people out of the blue because their nicknames were Eva-related.
...You
brag to your friends that you match more items on this list than they do.
...You
plan on getting having a baby in 2000/01 so that they'll be old enough to be
pilots, then kill yourself so they'll be "motherless children.”
...You
do your final paper in English class on Eva.
...Your
friends who have never seen the series start making up symptoms after watching
you talk about Eva
...You
do your psychology thesis on the psychological themes in Evangelion.
...You
legally change your name to one of the Eva characters
...You
realize that you'll be 29 and your best friend will be 30 in the year 2015.
(Misato and Ritsuko)
...You
realize that for every character in Evangelion you have a friend similar to
him/her.
...You
actually noticed it when, in Genesis 0:1, the roof of Misato's car was dented
and two seconds later it was perfectly flat.
...You
noticed when Ritsuko's earrings weren't attached to her ears.
...You
noticed Misato's earring change in Genesis 0:1 from suns to pearls, plus, she
never wears the sun earrings again.
...You
find it kind of funny that this page is on Angelfire.
...You make a costume and dress up as you’re
favorite Eva character.
...You
go to Project A-kon X, and pester Tiffany Grant to give you a sound byte for
your Too Much Eva page.
...Your
father hires you to work at his orginazation because he has a use for you.
...You
Make A Club Called Seele.
...You
start using NGE characters/situations anytime you are asked to make comparisons
in a Literature class.
...The
only discs that seem to be in your CD player are Eva soundtracks, and you have
a 6 disc changer.
...You
tell your (Female) classmates that they would make great mothers.
...You
sell pictures of a cute classmate to other students.
...Your
E-Mail has a user name related to Evangelion.
...You
only visit pages about Evangelion.
...You
have the scripts of the 26 chapters.
...You
have the scripts of the 2 movies.
...You
never get tired of visiting pages like this.
...When
you nitpick the series to create your own symptoms.
...When
angels don't seem heavenly anymore.
...For
fun you debate weather End of Evangelion's ending was death or rebirth.
...After
discussing above topic, people e-mail you and tell you how depressing you are.
...You
believe that your AT Field will protect you from anything.
....
you find this website so funny because you can relate with every SINGLE thing
(man, ain't that scary!)
....
your emotional outbursts include the words "antabaka", "bakat
nanikateneyo" and "kirai!" without you even noticing.
....
you actually time if it really takes less than 20 seconds for Asuka to destroy
each of the Eva series.
....
you hold group discussions to determine the true interpretation of the End of
Evangelion.
.... in
these group discussions, you can never never EVER agree
.....
these cartoon characters are more real to you than any person you will ever
meet
...You
play Rock/Paper/Scissors with your roommate to divide up the chores.
...You
understand exactly what is happening at any given point in the series. Even
during the psycho-babble!
...You
tell your unenlightened friends about Evangelion all the time, even though they
have no idea what your talking about.
...You
name your children after the pilots.
...You
refer to your basement/wine cellar as terminal dogma
...You
buy a purple car, just so you can get personalized number plates that say
"eva01"
...Volcanoes
erupt, and you tell your friends that an angel has awoke inside the magma.
...You
think its normal to have dreams about Eva characters, especially blue haired,
red eyed ones...
...You
refer to humans as "lilim's", cause you like the idea of being
"devil spawn", the sons/daughters of lilith
...You
have a dream about piloting you own Evangelion.
...You
go into a jewelry store and get upset because You can't find a cross like
Misato's.
...You
try to mix your own LCL in Chemistry Class.
...After
reading a list like this you realize that more than half of them describe
you...........and you're damn proud of it (I am)
...You
insist on bringing a video camera to school and taping everything in sight.
...You
are in withdrawal because you do not have access to new NGE material.
...The
millennium bug seems unimportant.
...You
are currently moving to the center of the continent to keep away from the
impending doom that second impact will have on the coast.
...You
have visited over 20 NGE sites in the last week!
...You
notice that halfway through the series Misato switches from Yebisu Beer to Boa
Beer.
...
your best pick-up line is "do you want to become one with me?"
...You
have tried to use "Do you want to become one with me?" as a pick up
line.
... you
stare at a complete stranger, thinking 'wow, he/she looks just like (fill in
character of choice)'
... you
try to figure out the Tree of Life and why the hell it's on Gendo's ceiling.
...You
start to hate your father. Immensely.
...You
check this webpage to see what symptoms you haven't come down with yet.
...You
start to fantasize about Asuka coming into your room, falling asleep beside
you.
...You
can listen to 'Fly me to the Moon' for, oh, say a billion times and not get
sick of it.(of course it helps when there's 20 different versions of the song.)
...The
world as we know it is about to end and you pick up a six-pack-a-Yebisu beer
and go back to watching NGE.
...You
write an email to Riff 13 to tell him about your symptoms of watching too much
NGE.
...You
cried when you saw the scene where Ritsuko destroyed the dummy plug.
...You
whacked anyone who even dared to say anything bad about EVA.
...You
go to the supermarket to look for Yebisu beer.
...You
start to clasp your hands together and rest your head on them like how Gendo
does it.
...You
run to the kitchen, grab something hot and burn your hands. Then you can tell
people about how you risked your life to save Rei's.
...You
don't wear your be drug-free button out of respect for Misato.
...Two
words: Instant food.
...You
automatically refer to your car as Unit 01.
...You
have trouble sincronizing with your car.
...Having
a penguin as a pet doesn't seem that weird to you anymore.
...You
think "God's in his heaven. All's right with the world." makes sense.
...You
actually understand what I'm talking about.
...You
dye your hair blue for no apparent reason
...You
know all the characters' birthdays.
...You
start calling your dog Pen-Pen and wonder why he doesn't like his new fridge
...You
would do absolutely anything for that Nerv jacket.
...You
do Misato's "oookay?? Oooookay." thing.
...You
think of Shinji every time you say "Yes, ma'am"
...You're
lying in your bed and you can't help but say "Another unfamiliar
ceiling"
...Your
teacher assigns you a research paper on your favorite city. You turn in a full
report on Tokyo-3.
...Beer.
Beer is good. 50 Gallons of it.
...Nothing
draws attention like evasive action.
...You
Convert to Christianity because of Eva.
...This
web page is an accurate reflection of your life.
...You
go scuba diving in a swimming pool.
...You
believe in A.D.V.'s slogan For Eva "Gospel for the New Century. The End Of
Man."
...Nothing
on this list seems that unusual to you.
...You
learn German just so you can understand what Asuka is saying. (this seems to be
a common symptom.)
...You
see the sun breaking through a batch of storm clouds and you avoid it at all
costs so the Angel can't unravel your mind.
...You
make a Too Much Eva page. (sigh)
...You
look at the dates on Yui's grave and get the chills because the birth year is
way too close to yours (if not the same).
...Your
electric razor comes unplugged and you wonder why it stops because the internal
battery should have 5 min. of power.
...You
design all of your Mechs in "Armored Core" to look like the Evas.
...You
grow watermelons.
...You
go to the UN to apply for a position in Nerv.
...You
spell "nerve" as "nerv."
...You
think you're best friend is an Angel because he acts like Kaoru.
...You
plan to go to the Ross Ice Shelf on Sept. 12-15 to witness Second Impact.
...You
want to make hundreds of blue haired female clones.
...You
have fantasies about Rei, Asuka, Misato, Ritsuko, Maya, or all of the above.
...You
start a small Eva following at your workplace.
...You
start picking out the cast to the live-action "Neon Genesis
Evangelion" series.
...The
thought of Church frightens you simply because they talk about Angels.
...You
would pick Rei (or any Eva female) over you current girlfriend.
...You
start asking pet shops what their prices are on penguins.
...You
write "EVA" on everything you own.
...You
have a female friend with short hair and you ask her to dye her hair blue and
get red contacts.
...You
wonder where you'll be and what you'll be doing in the year 2015.
...When
your teacher asks you to explain thermal expansion you ask one of the girls in
the class to warm her breasts with her hands, and then ask someone else in the
class if he thinks her breasts will get larger or smaller.
...You
put a small motor on your switchblade so you can have your own Prog. Knife.
...You
know who Mana Kirishima is.
...Your
father tells you to kill your best friend. Twice.
...You
refer to Eva as the German Heroin of anime.
...You
refer to your room as Central Dogma.
...You
want to trade places with Shinji.
...You
play with Eva toys and have them do battle with legos.
...You
get a Nerv tattoo
...You
get a fake Nerv ID card.
...You
have a small Eva following building at your school
...'Thesis
of a Cruel Angel' is your song of the day, and it's playing through your head
in both English and Japanese.
...You
start muttering nonsensical Eva-related things in a social situation.
...You
have a shrine dedicated to Rei, Kaoru, Kaoru and Shinji together, and the
entire cast.
...Eva
posters decorate your room.
...Your
birthday and Christmas wish-lists are more than 90% Eva-related.
...Your
computer software has a bug in it, so you initiate the self-destruct sequence
on your computer so that the two can "co-exist"
...You
hop into a friends car and fear that it might reject you.
...You
embezzle millions of dollars from schools and non-profit communities so you too
can have an Eva.
...After
a trip to Japan, you're crushed because you never found Tokyo 3
...A
German transfer student comes to live with you, and you question her about her
previous piloting experiences
...You
don't know who was the famous general in the war of 1812, but you know all the
details of Eva 04, which wasn't even completed
...You
noticed that in episode 12, Misato's eyes are one shade lighter than they
normally are.
...You
check episode 12 after reading the previous line to see if it's really true.
...You
have a physical and psychological addiction to Evangelion
...You
have enough Evangelion images to wallpaper your neighborhood
...You
still get tense wondering what will happen next, even though you have seen the
episode six dozen times
...You
seen every episode at least five hundred times, and it still hasn't worn thin
on you
...It
never dawns on you that others don't care about Evangelion
...When
you're feeling down, you ride the subway from dawn till dusk.
...You're
doing all you can to prepare for second impact in 2000.
...People
forget you exist because all you do is watch Evangelion
...You
fill your car with water and try to breathe through it while you drive.
...You
have a favorite version of "Fly Me To The Moon."
...You
walk out of the room in the middle of a conversation with out saying a word.
...Your
head hurts.
...You think
the Maji are a computer system.
...You're
Waiting to hear news reports about a comet smashing into Antarctica. (Second
Impact.)
...You
own all 26 episodes plus both movies.
...You
think it's a good idea to watch the entire series in one sitting.
...You
own more than one Evangelion CD.
...You
have a friend who looks exactly like your mother.
...You
think that the conspiracy in The X-Files is no big deal.
...You
have a pet penguin.
...You
believe that Angels are evil.
...You've
read the Dead Sea Scrolls just because of Eva.
...You
press a button on your left wrist to tighten your plug suit, and realize that
you just reset your watch.
...You
forget that there is such a thing as an American cartoon.
...You
understand what Shinji is going through.
...You
greet your friends with "I am the (your name here) that exists in your
mind."
...Your
fiends return your greeting with "And this is the (friend's name here)
that exists in your mind."
...You
refer to yourself and your siblings as 1st child, 2nd child, 3rd child, ext.
...You
use Twister mats to syncronise your movements with others.
...You
and a friend of the opposite sex dress exactly alike.
...You
think of Eva whenever you hear Handel's Messiah.
...You
have a dream about having a conversation with yourself on a train car.