| PAPERS as REMINDERS... Lest I Forget (written on august 1, 2006) |
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Only two days left before the Nurse Licensure Exam and some of my very important documents were missing! About 5 PM of Friday, June 9, 2006, right after the closing moments at Northcap Review Center – Manila, I went to PRC to check my test center. To my surprise, the street along PRC was jampacked with fellow nursing students who will also be taking the exam. I pushed my way, as I was also being pushed by the others, to the board where my name was posted, not realizing that my big envelope was accidentally opened, and that my stapled Official Receipt, Applicant’s Stub and mailing envelop fell off. While walking along Nicanor Reyes, my instincts told me there was something missing. I looked for the said documents but could not find any. I decided to drop by Jollibee – Recto so I could make myself more comfortable while searching for the papers inside my big envelope. Still, there was none. Various thoughts now surrounded me. My mind traveled back to my college years – to my graduation and to the time I started my review (for the December 2005 board exam). Experiences how God led me all through those years intruded my thoughts. To mention a few, I was then an incoming third year student in a state university. However, we had to be screened based on GWA (60%) and panel interview (40%). My average, I can say, was not competitive, so I was hoping my interview would somehow compensate. But then, it was scheduled on a Saturday. Being a Seventh-day Adventist, Saturday is our day of worship. I opted not to go to the interview. My mother wrote a letter to the level coordinator requesting for a non-Saturday interview schedule. Without much interrogation, it was granted, in as much as Sunday was really for the other section. Sunday came. I put on my semi-formal attire for additional points, and on the bus, I prayed. The interviewers, both Clinical Instructors are non-SDAs. The questions were: Why can’t you make it on a Saturday? Why don’t you eat pork? What is the SDA belief? Do you believe that SDAs are the only ones who will be saved? No questions on nursing topics came out; instead, the rest of the questions were all about our Adventist faith. While answering, I noticed my CIs were nodding, as well. I made it to the 3rd year level and I believe God paved the way for that Sunday interview not only to gain extra points, but most importantly, to share to the interviewers about us – Seventh-day Adventists. The other experience was a bit frustrating. I pushed through with my review for the December 2005 board exam only to find out after spending a large sum of money that one of the exam dates falls on a Saturday. Previously, I was informed that exams will be held on December 4,5 (Sunday, Monday) so I enrolled for the in-house review which started June 2005, and again for the intensive course, October 2005 at Baguio City. With barely six weeks left, I learned that the previously announced Dec. 4,5 dates were really Dec. 3,4 (Saturday, Sunday) in the PRC schedule. For two nights, I just cried. Ang daming nasayang ‘di rin naman pala ako makakapag-exam. My batchmates kept on persuading me: Minsan lang naman. Maiintindihan ka ng Diyos. Magpaalam ka sa pastor niyo, para din naman sa future mo yan. I often thought, “Per-haps God has a better plan for me in His own time. I just can not grasp it yet. Not now.” Question is, when would the ”NOW” take place? The day after tomorrow? June next year? Another year of delay?!? Thinking what to do next while sitting on one of the chairs at Jollibee-Recto, I felt like crying again. For a year, I waited but it seemed that long wait would not again materialize. Not losing hope, I stood and asked one of the crew, “Asan po pinakamalapit na CR?” “Nasa 3rd floor pa. CR ng Mall,” was his reply. I took my first step and off I went to the escalator. It was not working at that time so I just made use of my legs. I went inside the CR, to the cubicle nearest the door. There, with humility, I uttered a fervent prayer— Lord, if it is Your will that I take the exam the day after tomorrow, show me my missing documents (which of course if gone, will not allow me to take the test). It’s already 5:30 PM, the PRC is closed and it’s ONLY YOU that I could cling to. I do not know where to begin my search, but before the sun sets, at exactly 6:00 or even prior to it, You must have shown me my papers. Teach me where to find ‘cause I trust You. Thy will be done, not mine. In Jesus’ name, Amen. I laid everything to Him. I was about to stride out of the mall when I received a txt message from my boardmate asking me to look for her testing center so I went back to PRC. While walking, my eyes were very alert looking for papers on the ground, but nothing familiar came in sight. Upon reaching PRC, I tried to go back to the board where I copied my venue. My eyes still on the floor, I caught a glimpse of a familiar paper. Without a doubt, it was my Official Receipt, almost torn into half and obviously stepped on by different footwears. Next came in view my Applicant’s stub, folded with my picture on the upper surface. I even saw my picture being stepped on unknowingly by a student. A few steps away was my cedula/ Community Tax Certificate which also fell off minutes ago. With the staple wire already detached, I was no longer able to find my mailing envelope, but according to two PRC personnel who were about to go home, it could be replaced. That was about 5:50 PM. Yes, God answered my prayer back in the Mall CR. I could not help but thank Him right there and then. With such a big crowd, recovering those documents was impossible. On my way home to Pasig that Friday afternoon, tears were rolling down while remembering the recent experience. With only a few inches from the gutter and perhaps a gentle breeze, the papers could have been blown to the stagnant water. Indeed, it was a test of faith. At the same time, it was an assurance that God will be with me during the exam. At home, I read the card my sister left for me before she went to Cebu that week. Here’s the message: God’s plans for you will succeed for you were uniquely designed to do wonderful things for Him. May He continue to bless your life and your work and all that you do in HIS name... I knelt beside my bed, not to have another request, but to express my thanksgiving. He made me realize that I am nothing without Him, that He knows everything, and that I need to trust His Heart. ALWAYS. It was a very refreshing experience because He alleviated my rising anxiety brought about by the pressure of the upcoming licensure exam. It was His unique way of conveying to me “Relax. Fear not for I am in control. I will be with you always.” On July 19, at about 3:30 AM, I noticed there was a new text message from a former classmate at Northcap. Still with half-opened sleepy eyes, I barely read the line “May result na.” Hair uncombed, I immediately proceeded downstairs. While booting the computer, my heart contractions were gaining momentum. I could say this was the moment when my heart beat the fastest. It was not on the eve of the exam. Not during the test, either. But now?! When you already know the results have just been released? And you are now only a click away to knowing whether you passed or otherwise. Ah! The most heart-pounding part really! While dragging the scroll bar down to the list of letter “E” surnames, I could see myself staring back from the monitor. I was praying real hard - Thy will be done Lord, not mine. After more than a month of waiting for the results, He again blessed me by including my name in the list of successful examinees. God is really good! We might not have realized it yet but we should always claim His promise in Proverbs 3:5, 6, now one of my favorite verses. It states – Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. His leadings direct us to better paths and “when we do not understand, when we do not see His plan, when we can not trace His hand, let us trust HIS heart”. And, oh, before I forget, He also spared me from an accident three weeks ago. The glass of the steel window at the 2nd floor of my aunt’s house dropped while I was doing the laundry downstairs. In my subconscious mind, He might have whispered, “Baning, move a bit farther” because it landed on the same spot where I was originally seated – only a foot away from where I transferred. God is trustworthy. Otherwise, I would have been a victim of a broken glass that night, and up to now, I might even be waiting for June 2007, still wondering where my OR, stub and cedula are. One thing is certain though. These papers now have a special corner in my room always in view to remind me of God’s trustworthiness. Lest I forget. - jhenny gaile/ baningkin |
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