You know you're obsessed with Gabrielle when...
~Your least favorite episode? Key to the Kingdom.        
~Why? No Gabrielle! And no explanation!
~You legally change your name, have your best friend cut your hair with her chakram, get crucified and come back, pick up a pair of sais, and travel your neighborhood as a kick ass do-gooder.
~Come on! We all know who the
REAL show star is...
~The only websites you go to are Gabrielle related.
~Any site that has a single bad word about the great and wonderful Bard Goddess is 'mysteriously' hacked into and destroyed.
~You subscribe to every Gabrielle mailing list you find, no matter how much mail.
~Your former best friend is now your worst enemy because she said that Iolaus makes a better travelling companion.
~You have carried a grudge against Xena since third season because of the Bitter Suite, and then she goes and Chaks Gab in Motherhood!!!
~Someone says "You're certainly gabby today," and you thank them profusely.
~One of your nicknames is The Bard of Murrieta (or whatever your town name is)
~You petition your towns mayor and all the citizens, begging them to change the name to Poteidaia.
~Your boyfriend constantly questions your sexuality because of your obsession.
~You think Gabrielle should be declared a national hero with a day- no, a whole week!- devoted to her. After all, if Columbus is a hero for getting lost and 'discovering' the inhabited America, why shouldn't the Gabster be one?
~You insist that your girlfriend change her name to Gabrielle and tell her that if she won't, you'll find someone who will!
~You often dream of seeing Gabrielle replace Aphrodite as the Goddess of Love (No offense Dite!)
~You've been thrown in jail more than once because Renee believed you were stalking her. (It wasn't
entirely true!)
~You are proud of this accomplishment because it means Renee knows you exist, at the very least!
~You're at a track meet. During the pole vault, two things go through your mind: Gabrielle's jump through the window in Gabrielle's Hope, and her leap to pull Hope into the pit at the end of Sacrifice II.
~During the javelin throw, two more events come to mind: our beloved Bard throwing her Gabwhacker into the river during The Way, and the Gabinator obliterating the Romans at the end of Ides of March.
~You're convinced that you're Gabrielle reincarnated.
~You insist that people call you by a shortened version of The Bard's name.
~You write songs about Gabrielle based on Joxer the Mighty's tune.
~Friends seem to think you know more about Renee than Renee does.
Have any ideas to contribute? E-mail them to me!
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