| 1. If the marketer says they are Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, Marian asks them to spell their name, then asks them to spell the company name, then asks them where it located. He continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary. 2. This one only works on females: Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel services.... Marian: "Hang on a second." (Few seconds pause) "Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?" 3. Marian cries out, in a well simulated tone of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!! Is this really you? Oh, my God! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where on Earth she could know Marian from. 4. Marian says, "no", repeatedly. He is sure to vary the sound of each no, and he keeps an even tempo even as they are trying to speak. This is Marian's favorite if he can keep going until they hang up. 5. If MCI calls trying to get Marian to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, he replies, in as sinister a voice as he can muster, "I don't have any friends...would you be my friend?" 6. If the marketer is a rug cleaner, Marian says: "Can you get blood out?...you can? Well, just goat blood or HUMAN blood too?" 7. He lets the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional "uh-huh, really", or "that's fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, he asks them to marry him. 8. Marian tells them he works for the same company the marketer works for. E.G. Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Mantermills." Marian: "Mantermills!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?" Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas." Marian: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya." 9. Marian answers the phone. As soon as he realizes it is a telemarketer, he sets the receiver down, shouts or screams, "Oh, my God!!!" and then hangs up. 10. Marian says to the Telemarketer, "Sorry, I can't talk right now but if you'd just give me your home phone number I'll call you when I'm not as busy." When they say in a flustered way that they can't give out their home number Marian says, "Oh, I see...you don't want strangers calling you at your home! Now you know how I feel." Back to SirMarian. Back to Top 10 Lists Page. |
| MARIAN'S TOP 10 FAVORITE WAYS TO GET RID OF TELEMARKETERS |