From the master, David Lettermen, CBS Late Show
Top Ten Signs you Had a Lame Thanksgiving
10. More than once, you deliberately tried to choke on a turkey bone.
9. Turkeys were sold out, so you ended up with a butterball
frozen monkey.
8. The thing you were most thankful for? Everyone leaving.
7. Local shop ran out of pilgrim costumes, so people dressed
as astronauts.
6. While you were stuffing the turkey, your brother was
stuffing your wife.
5. Everyone else was sluggish because of tryptophan, you were
sluggish because of salmonella.
4. You ended up being thankful for the attractively priced
combo meals at Taco Bell.
3. Instead of "white meat or dark meat?", you were
asked "bone or gristle?"
2. Mom couldn't get any cooking done because of all the phone
calls from Bill O'Reilly.
1. Just as you were sitting down to dinner, your family was
beaten by Ron Artest.