Kill Bill Vol 1
Overview: After being in a coma for four years, former assiasian The
Bride awakes and is out to get those who betryaed her.
this includes her former boss Bill.
My Rating: This movie has a lot of action I'll say that. Lots of
action and lots of blood. At times the blood being lost is
almost comical. Behind all the action is also a great story of revenge.
More Detail: Where to begin. This movie is a trip. it is action packed and fast moving.
We open up with the Bride (Uma Thurman) on the ground, severally
beaten. The Bride, aka Black Mamba, is a member
of a group of assiasians. It looks like it is her wedding day, but
her group has turned on her and beaten her. As she lay
beaten a gun is pointed at her head. She starts to say "Bill
it" and then is shot.
She is presumed dead but it turns out she is in a coma.
After the opening scene, The bride arrives at the house of Vermita
Green (Vivica Fox), aka Copperhead. She was one of
the girls that beat The Bride and left her for dead. A huge fight
ensues with great action. The two stop when Vernita's
daughter arrives home from school. She is four. I missed an important
point. The Bride was Pregnant when she was
beaten.
The two stop and play it cool for the young 4 year old. Vernita asks
her daughter to go to her room. Black Mamba
tells copperhead that she is not going to kill her in front of her
daughter, but she is going to kill her. They agree to a
night fight. Just then copperhead tries to strike with a gun but
misses, Black Mamba puts her down with a knife
to the throat. Her daughter sees this. Mamba tells her she is sorry,
but trust me, she deserved to die.
The movie now takes us back to the attack. The police are at the
scene with 9 people dead, I believe. Just then the Bride
spits up on one of the officers. She remains in a coma for four
years. Elle Driver (Daryl Hannah), aka California Mountain
Snake, does try to kill the Bride in the hospital, but Bill calls and
says they will not kill her in her sleep. If she survies, then
we will kill her.
Four years later, The Bride comes to. She realizes she has lost her
baby. At the hospital a worker is making money
by letting people sleep with the comatosed victims. The Bride hears
them coming and lies back down. As the man
gets on her she bites out his tongue. She tries to leave but has no
muscle in her legs. She attacks the worker and gets his
keys, she uses a wheel chair to get out to his car.
Her first kill included a trip to Japan. She visited Bill's teacher
and got him to make her a sword. She then went after
O-Ren Ishii (Luci Liu), aka Cottonmouth. Ishii is the head of
Tokoyo's underground. Her body gaurd is a 17 year
old fighting machine, Gogo. She also has an army called the crazy 88's.
The Bride strikes in a night club. Using Ishii's lawyer as bait,
before chopping her arm off. Next she goes through everyone.
tons of fighters from the Crazy 88's including Gogo. She then has a
battle with Ishii. She comes out battered but victorous.
She drops off the lawyer at the hospital with a message for Bill. She
is coming after the California Mountain Snake,
Sindwinder (Michael Madsen) and Bill (David Carradine).
The movie ends with Bill asking the Lawyer, does she know her child survived?
Bring on Kill Bill Vol 2.
Scary Movie 3
Overview: This edition of Scary Movie combines scenes from Signs, The
Ring and 8 mile. Mysterious crop circles
and a killer tape provide the story line.
My Rating: Pretty funny. Some of the stuff was overkill funny, but that's what you have to expect after the first two.
More detail: Anna Faris returns as Cindy. This time she is a reporter
for a television station. She wants to cover a story
about mysrerious crop circles in a small town. He boss is more
interested in stories about breats implants, it's sweep
week.
The movie starts out with Jenny Mccarthy and Pam Anderson. The are
watching TV, ala the Ring. Pam starts to talk
about this tape she heard about and Jenny asks if it is the one with
the guy and girl on the boat making out. Pam says
not that one the one that you are suppose to die after seven days.
After a brief cat fight and a phone call, Jenny is found
dead by Pam, who despite the fact her head has fallen off, keeps
asking if she is ok.
The Crop circles are on a farm owned by Charlie Sheen, a former
priest. His brother George (Simon Rex) is a wanna be
rapper. George meets Cindy at school. Cindy's nephew, who she cares
for since his mom died, and George's niece attend
the same class. Their teached is Scary Movie alum, Brenda (Regina
Hall). Brenda and Cindy agree to go see George
perform in a rap copetition ala 8 Mile.
George stuns the crowd by laying down an ill (sorry couldn't resist)
rhyme against rapper Fat Joe. He would have won
except he put on his sweatshirt hood and looked like a member of the
KKK. He was tossed out, through a window.
Brenda tells cindy that she saw the video. Several times she fakes
dieing to scare Cindy. She goes into the living room
and the TV turns on, out crawls the girl from the well. She and
Brenda get into a fight. Brenda dominates early but losses
and dies, all the time yelling for Cindy who assumes it is another
prank. George and some of his Rap boys show up at the
wake with Tabitha, George's niece to pay their respects. Well one
things lead to another and they try to use CPR to bring
Brenda back. Her parents are shocked as George gives her mouth to
mouth and his buddy Mahalik jumps on top of
her to pound her chest.
Cindy finds the tape and watches it. George and his buddies send her
to Queen Latifah's house to get more information
on the tape. She sees the light house and goes to it. Inside is
George Carlin He has a bunch of TVs with hidden video
of Cindy. He tells Cindy that the girl belonged to him and his wife
but she was pure evil. She drove the horses crazy
and hide the remote. It was his wife that decided to kill her, he
thought a time out would do.
Back on the farm George and his brother board up the house the Aliens
are coming. After seeing the news about the
aliens and killer tape, the President (Leslie Nielsen) decides to
contact Cindy.
At the farm, Cindy and her nephew Cody are there hiding out with
George, Tabitha and Tom (Charlie Sheen). The aliens
land and are friendly. They too saw the tape and need to kill the
girl before they die.
In the basement, Cindy recognizes some things from the tape. This is
where the girl is. Under the house they find the well
and the little girl is behind her. The girl is about to kill Cindy,
George and Cody when the president opens the door
and wishes them good luck, knocking the girl back into the well.
Underworld
Overview: For centuries, the war between Vampires and Lycans
(Werewolfs) has raged on. Selene, a Vampire and
death dealer, has uncovered a plot that will bring to an end all
Vampires. But who is behind and who really started the
war?
My Rating: I thought this was a great movie. There is a small plot to
follow, but the effects and action are amazing. Then
you also have Kate Beckinsale as the star in skin tight leather most
of the movie, what more could you ask for?
More Detail: The movie starts out with Selene (Beckinsale) and a few
other Death Dealers tracking a couple Lycans. The
battle takes place in a subway station and car. She kills one Lycan
and injuries another. Underground she hears
several Lycan.
She returns to the mansion and reports her findings to Kraven, the
lead elder. Kraven tells her that most of the Lycan are
wiped out and what she heard could not be true. Kraven and Selene do
not get a long. The former Elder, Victor, saved
Selene from the Lycan's as a child and made her a vampire so she
could avenge the death of her parents. Victor left
Kraven in charge as he lies in dormant waiting to be awaken.
Selene studies some pictures from the battle and notices the Lycan
seemed to be after a human. The human is Michael
Corvino.
The Lycan after after Michael for his blood. His ancestory has ties
to both Lycans and Vampires. Selene tracks down
Michael. She gets to him after he is bitten by the head Lycan,
Lucian. Lucian is suppose to be dead, according to
Kraven. Kraven claims to had killed him, he even brought a patch of
skin as proof, which is why he was left in charge.
Kraven and Lucian are involved in a plot to make Kraven the overall
ruler of the Vampires and bring an end to the war.
Kraven approaches Lucian to ask about the human and he is toldit is
none of his business.
Selene awakens Victor for guidance. She is not suppose to do this.
Victor is concerned by her claims but she is to be
punished for breaking the code. She is locked in her room to await
the council. The other clan of Vampires is arriving
by train. they are set up by Kraven and Lucian and slaughtered. One
of the Lycan takes the blood of Amelia.
With the help of another vampire, Erika, Selene escapes and goes to
Michael who she has hidden away. She is met by
Lycan. They kidnap Michael and take him to Lucian, He is beginning to
become a werewolf.
Selene goes to Victor with an injured Lycan who tells him of the plot
to combine Werewolf and Vampire blood. Because
of Michael's blood line, he is the only one who can survive this.
Kraven leaves realizing he has been found out.
In the final battle, Kraven turns on Lucian and kills him with silver
bullters laced with liquid nitrogen, or something.
Through the memories of Lucian, which Michael has been seeing since
he was bitten, he sees that Victor murdered his
own daughter Sonja, who was pregnant with Lucian's baby, they were
married and Victor was against mixing the
species. Victor also murdered Selene's family, not the Lycan's.
Selene reminded him of Sonja so he let her live.
After being bitten by Selene, Michael becomes a hybrid Lycan and
vampire who battles Victor. In the end it is Selene
who kills Victor. Now she is on the run as she knows that the final
Elder will soon be awaken and she will become
the hunted.
End of movie, roll credits. Do I smell an Underworld 2?