October Rants

I played Paintball for the first time on August 21. The place was Friendly Fire in Uptown MA. The occasion was my
brother-in-law to be's bachelor party.

First off I just want to let everyone know I am OK. No permanent damage was done body, I still look as good as ever.

I wasn't sure what to expect. Most of the guys had played before. The last time I shot a gun was in Tomb Raider on the
playstation. Before that was a BB gun as a young teenager. So needless to say, I sucked. I couldn't hit the broadside
of a barn as they say. Hell I went into the target area and I had to come out and ask someone how to turn off the
safety. 

All I had heard about paintball was the sting and bruises. The way they run things is two teams. Blue and Red. You
play different games like capture the flag and such. So in the first game I had my problems. The face masks kept
fogging up because of the humidity. I couldn't see much. I was behind a tree that proved to be too skinny and got nailed
on the inner thigh. Pretty close to the family jewels, good thing I tucked them in to the left.

In all it was a fun day. I got hit one time in the leg and as I was declaring my self hit and out I took another to the chest.
I left the combat area and walked over to some of my group. The paintball was still hanging from a button on my shirt.

As the day ended, it poured out. we got soaked, which took care of most of the paint.

After paintball we all cleaned up and meet up for a nice dinner at O'Tooles in Hopkington. Highly recommended. The 
steak tips where awesome, dare I say as good if not better then Nellos? Nello's still has the prettier staff though.

****

On September 4 my youngest sister got married. 

A co-worker of mine was looking at some pictures from the big day and noted she couldn't be my sister, she was too
beautiful.

And while I know this person was just busting my chops, I mean come on, I'm dead sexy, she was right, Alison was
very beautiful that day. As a matter of fact there isn't much about that day that wasn't perfect. The ceremony was 
outdoors and the weather held up. It was a little too warm out I should say, I was one of the groomsmen, so I was
nice and toasty in my tux.

So welcome to the family Greg.

I did fall at my sisters wedding. This was prior to any drinking, honest, wellmaybe one beer in the limo heading over.
after the ceremony, we all (the wedding party) had to go back outside for pictures. So as I mentioned it was warm. We
took a ton of pictures. Finally the guys get the all clear to head in. So I walk by a couple groomsmen who ask what
we are doing and I say we can go in. I start walking backwards and talking to them and step on a large rock. I start to
fall back. It was almost slow motion. Attempts to catch myself failed. I landed on my ass and was saved by Pete who
kept me from going all the way over. Good news, no rip in the Tux. Of course my friends and some others saw my
stumble from the patio and declared I was cut off. 

One more note, I highly recommend being in a wedding if you get the chance. Your outfit is picked out for you, you
get a limo ride to the place, and at the head table you get served first. It's like being a king. 

****

Acclaimed actress Paris Hilton's Baby sister, Nicky, got married on August 15.

The 20 year old hotel heiress married 33 year old Todd Andrew Meister in a 2:30 AM Las Vegas Ceremony, ala Britney.

Who is Todd Meister? According to the paper he is a Manhattan money manger and "Man-about-town".

I don't get it. I'm 35, where are all the 20 - 22 year olds in the Boston area looking for an older man?

I'll tell you the difference between Todd and I, two words, Money.

****

We have some new blood at Nellos. Cindy's friend Megan is now working there. 

I had met Meg a couple times when she came in on Saturday's to see Cindy. Meg's first night was a Saturday. I had to ask 
her if she took the job for the money or the Saturday night entertainment.

I also asked her if she had broken anything yet. Her answer was no, but not for long.

She was putting away some glasses and bang, her first break. She accused me of jinxing her. It was just a small break, 
that was nothing.

Speaking of Nellos, I went in the Sunday after the wedding with a couple friends. Jen asked me how the wedding was 
and how did my sister look. I said something to the effect of she looked very nice. This got me in trouble. What she 
wasn't beautiful. She's my sister. But yes she was beautiful, my bad.

The next Saturday, one of the girls said awesome chocolates, Jen said they were just OK. I think that was a shot at my 
lack of beautiful comment.

****

Have you tried the Dialectizer? If you go to http://rinkworks.com/dialect/ you can type in the URL of your favorite web 
page, mine for example and choose what Dialect you want it in. For example, I wrote this a couple months ago,

We have a new dress policy at work. Business attire Monday - Thursday. Basically a shirt and tie for the guys. Not sure
what it means for the gals. I think it means heels and skirts, of course I could be wrong.

Word of the new code came down on a Friday, which meant we all had our weekends planned, clothes shopping.

I didn't mind having to buy new shirts and ties for work. After all the raise I got, oh wait I didn't get a raise. Well the raise 
I got the year before was more then enough, no wait, I did get a raise then either.

This is how it reads in Elmer Fudd

We have a new dwess powicy at wowk. Business attiwe Monday - Duwsday. Basicawwy a shiwt and tie fow the guys. Oh,
dat scwewy wabbit! Not suwe what it means fow the gaws. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! I think it means heews and skiwts, of
couwse I couwd be wwong.

Wowd of the new code came down on a Fwiday, which meant we aww had ouw weekends pwanned, cwothes shopping.

I didn't mind having to buy new shiwts and ties fow wowk. Aftew aww the waise I got, oh wait I didn't get a waise. Weww 
the waise I got the yeaw befowe was mowe then enough, no wait, I did get a waise then eithew.


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