We start this month off with a correction.
Last month I talked about Lisa's tattoo. I said it was an angel. It turns out it is a Fairy, not an angel.
Of course I knew this all along, I just wanted to have another look.
****
So I had my moles removed. What a pain. Not so much the removal but the treatment after.
What does god have against me? Last year it was a pionidal cyst that
had to have the dressing changed twice a day.
Needless to say it was in a location that I could not do the changes.
So I spent several weeks with my parents for care.
Now this. At first I figured no big deal. He cuts them out and
stitches them up. I didn't feel a thing during the removal which
was nice. Then they tell me I have to change the bandage once a day
and put bacitracin on the stitches each day. It's the
middle of my back. How am I going to do this?
Back to the folks for care. Luckily, the surgery was on a Thursday,
Friday I got the ok to work from home. Monday was a
Holiday and Tuesday is my normal work from home day. So Wednesday and
Thursday I showered the night before and
went to work without the am shower. Man I don't function well without
a shower in the morning.
Friday I went and had the stitches out. They now have Terry Strips on them which will fall out some time.
Here's the kicker. The doctor tells me, you have two more we should
watch but you should be ok, let me take one more
look at them. One on my tailbone and one on my butt. He reconsiders
and figures we should remove this one. Guess which
one it is? Why me?
Last week I asked this girl I kind of like if she wanted to come to
my house and play doctor. She agreed. We get to my
house and she takes off her clothes. I was shocked, I said hold that
thought, I need you to change my dressing first,
bada bing.
****
This is a new section, I may stay, it may go.
The Headlines:
In response to the abuse of Iraqi prisoners, US President George W
Bush went on Arab TV to tell them the abuse was
abhorrent. Millions of Americans flocked to their dictionaries to
figure out what the hell abhorrent meant. Mrs Bush
regretted giving her husband 365 obscure words dictionary for Christmas.
Los Angeles - A builder fell off a roof and landed on his co worker
who was using a nail gun. The result for Isidro Mejia
was six nails in his face, neck and skull. Three nails penetrated his
brain and one entered his spine below the base of the
skull, just missing his Brain Stem and serious Injury. He is expected
to make a full recovery.
His Family is calling for a ban on all semi automatic Nail Guns.
A doctor at John Hopkins is saying a simple cure for obesity is to
cut out meat one day a week. For example Meatless
Monday. Why this may be a good idea, why Monday? Aren't Monday's
depressing enough? End of the weekend, Back to
work and now I can't have Meat. Don't even get me started on the
effect Rainy Days on Monday have on me. Why not
Tofu Tuesdays?
In response to the Democratic National Convention being in Boston
this year, Both the Bruins and Celtics, who play at the
Fleet Center, did their part by losing in the first round of the
playoffs to give security time to set up.
****
What is Irony? Irony would be me having my Hot Water Heated replaced
per Condo association mandate and then my
parents Hot Water Heater Breaking. It may not be Irony, but it's something.
****
Well, with time comes change.
One of my girls has left Nellos.
My Saturday night Bartender Karen has gone to another bar.
I wish Karen the best of luck, I have a lot of good memories from Saturday Nights at the bar.
I still see her at her new job from time to time, but Nellos is my
place. I still have Karen number 2, who I guess is number 1
now, Lisa, Debbie, Jen, and Loni to name a few.
****
I got to break in a new Bartender at Nellos a couple Saturday's ago. Cindy is a Nello's waitress turned Bartender.
I was nice to her, I didn't order any complicated drinks like Sex on
the Beach or a Slippery Nipple. I stuck to my Captain
and Coke and Coffee. I also keep the jokes to a minimum.
So welcome to the fold Cindy.
****
Warning, This next story is disturbing and may, no will, contain vulgar language.
What the fuck is wrong with people?
Up in New Hampshire, two bitches, Erin Wylie and Shannon Walters, are
accused of drowning a 2 year old Dachshund
puppy named Dewey. What would make someone do this? According to the
police, Jealousy.
The dog belonged to Erin's boyfriend, probably ex boyfriend now.
According to friends, The Dog was this guys baby,
he loved his dog, as most dog owners do.
Feeling jealous, Erin and her soon to be cell mate, staged a break
in. The slashed a screen, took his computer and dog.
Erin was kind enough to help put up wanted posters and consoled her
heart broken boyfriend, all the time knowing
She and her bitch friend, filled a tub with water and drowned the
dog. They then put the dog in a trash bag and in the
back of Walter's truck. Luckily the two "masterminds" were
caught when some emails between the two were
seen. They were going to bury the dog and police met Walter's at the location.
What the hell was going through your freakin head? Are you PMSing or
something? It was a dog. You killed a defenseless
dog all so your boyfriend would pay more attention to you? You and
Shannon should move to the Bay State and get
married, because no guy is going to want a dog killer for a wife.
Good thing he didn't have a two year old son from a
previous relationship.
I don't know what the maximum penalty is for what you did, I know
it's not enough. I can only hope that for the rest of
your lives, this never leaves you. Where ever you go, people will
remember what you did.
****
Identity theft. Identity theft scares me. Not so much the wrecked
credit but just the fact that someone could be living a
better life as me then I am. Think about it. Some guy could be using
my outstanding credit to travel the world. He could
be buying expensive gifts for his fiance and his girl on the side.
The guy could be getting more tail then me, but the girls think it is
me. That's the part the scares me the most. What if the guy
is terrible in the sack and has a small general? The girls go around
telling their girl friends that this guy George is a lousy lay
and has the equipment of a twelve year old. Now all of a sudden as I
meet new girls, they're like, oh your George I hear
you have the dinky of a twelve year old.
That my friends is why Identity theft makes me nervous. Please God,
If someone is going to steal my name, let them be great
in the sack and of above average size. Thank you, Amen.