okay, so some of us have been running around like chickens with our heads cut off... except prettier and less bloody. anyway, i've been at school for about two weeks now. not that i don't enjoy my friends here or want to bash God's plan, but i wish i were still in summer mode. actually, i wish i were still in senior year of high school mode. but ya know what? ecclesiasties (sp?) tells us to not sit around and reminisce and live in the past, comfy like an old tennis shoe though it is. so anyway, now i'm here. there're a few issues that really have me in a... thoughtful (who could've guessed) mood. but actually, it's more of a quiet "let's stop and think and be a little depressed b/c life isn't set out exactly how i want it to be" mood. which is silly and selfish all at the same time, i know. God knows best, and i'm sure of that. i just wish that what's best for everyone else made me happy. ah, well. i'm still not letting God control my emotions completely i guess. although - that's not quite right... God has given us the need and ability to grieve. so He made us, and He knows our moods better than we do. that's kinda cool, i guess. and it is reassuring to know that Daddy knows best. anyway, kudos and love to tp green, who recently began her college career. and to the hermanita, i say that grieving is normal and God is in the middle of it. so fret not. (like those Christmas angels say) so... iv is having a complete makeover - iv = InterVarsity Christian fellowship - and that and normal planning and publicity has kept me on my toes. classes have just started, and it looks like i'll have my nose in one book or another every day of the week. praise God, though, b/c it's an education, and God has already blessed me in so many ways this year. i love Him, but i still miss all my family and friends. and even my friends' families! ah, well. ya know what? (prepare yourself for randomness) maybe i've said this already, but i've always wanted to die a hero, or at least someone who was brave b/c i'm secure about where i'm going. but then a few nights ago, i had a dream where some guy came up and shot me. no reason, not even a familiar face. but i remember the terror - absolute terror - i felt when i saw the gun. and i realized that if i ever gain any courage, it'll be straight from God. i've been realizing that about a lot of things lately. "every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights." this includes, but is not limited to: grades, grandmothers, friends, iv attendance, my job, faith, faithfulness (to God and friends), concern for others, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. God is good. dragonflies come from Him, too. so do roommates and sisters. and family. lots of family. i love you all, just in case i haven't told you lately. and God, i thank You for the people in my life. the ones You've allowed to influence me and the ones You sent to love me. and thanx for the good and perfect gift of Jesus. august 30th
okay, so some of us have been running around like chickens with our heads cut off... except prettier and less bloody. anyway, i've been at school for about two weeks now. not that i don't enjoy my friends here or want to bash God's plan, but i wish i were still in summer mode. actually, i wish i were still in senior year of high school mode. but ya know what? ecclesiasties (sp?) tells us to not sit around and reminisce and live in the past, comfy like an old tennis shoe though it is. so anyway, now i'm here. there're a few issues that really have me in a... thoughtful (who could've guessed) mood. but actually, it's more of a quiet "let's stop and think and be a little depressed b/c life isn't set out exactly how i want it to be" mood. which is silly and selfish all at the same time, i know. God knows best, and i'm sure of that. i just wish that what's best for everyone else made me happy. ah, well. i'm still not letting God control my emotions completely i guess. although - that's not quite right... God has given us the need and ability to grieve. so He made us, and He knows our moods better than we do. that's kinda cool, i guess. and it is reassuring to know that Daddy knows best. anyway, kudos and love to tp green, who recently began her college career. and to the hermanita, i say that grieving is normal and God is in the middle of it. so fret not. (like those Christmas angels say) so... iv is having a complete makeover - iv = InterVarsity Christian fellowship - and that and normal planning and publicity has kept me on my toes. classes have just started, and it looks like i'll have my nose in one book or another every day of the week. praise God, though, b/c it's an education, and God has already blessed me in so many ways this year. i love Him, but i still miss all my family and friends. and even my friends' families! ah, well. ya know what? (prepare yourself for randomness) maybe i've said this already, but i've always wanted to die a hero, or at least someone who was brave b/c i'm secure about where i'm going. but then a few nights ago, i had a dream where some guy came up and shot me. no reason, not even a familiar face. but i remember the terror - absolute terror - i felt when i saw the gun. and i realized that if i ever gain any courage, it'll be straight from God. i've been realizing that about a lot of things lately. "every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father of lights." this includes, but is not limited to: grades, grandmothers, friends, iv attendance, my job, faith, faithfulness (to God and friends), concern for others, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self-control. God is good. dragonflies come from Him, too. so do roommates and sisters. and family. lots of family. i love you all, just in case i haven't told you lately. and God, i thank You for the people in my life. the ones You've allowed to influence me and the ones You sent to love me. and thanx for the good and perfect gift of Jesus. |
