| well, happy birthday to steven's hannah, first off! then let me tell you about my weird, weird, good, bad, and pretty day. well, it all started last night... i guess i've heard the song "who needs sleep?" one too many times. but, it was really cool all the same (for those of you that don't know, i hadn't done an all-nighter in a while and it was coming) anyway, i've discovered that i can play guitar in the laundry room and not really disturb anybody, so i sat and played in there. all the songs i had, some i didn't, and a few newbies :) anyway, so that was great worship and... confession, almost... sort of like the "God, i'm dirt, what makes You think i'm usable?" speech. anyway, that was really nice until the door opened - scared me half to death (hey, at 4:30 in the morning, almost anything'll scare ya half ta death) - a hand reached in, and flipped off the light. well, i know i was sitting where they couldn't see me, but it was still funny. so... i debated sleep, then decided against it once more. (yes, ladies and gentlemen, except for occasional headnods in calculus, i have been awake for over 24 hours! and i have yet to kill anyone!) well, i played in the dark for a minute or two, actually kinda cool, 'cause i couldn't really focus on things that i might usually. then i went and sat in the lounge and wrote. i wrote po-e-try! i haven't done that since... goodness. and THEN! just to scare y'all even more (i'm picking up tim's y'alls... he's from maryland, he's not supposed to say that!... hi tim!) anyway, i attempted poetry in...FRENCH! ack! isn't that terrible? i know the poem was ;) so... then the clouded sunrise made for great shades of blue with black silhouetted trees - it was great! well, i kept writing... found some words for my chords, i think... then it was time for the prayer meeting :) now, this may make you question if it's really me writing this... it is. i REALLY enjoy having prayer group early in the morning! for me, mornings are usually a race out the door event. but now, on thursdays it always starts the day right. coming before God and at least saying hey, as well as asking Him to use you and mold you and teach you, etc. oh! on the way to the chapel (where our three-person prayer group meets), i saw clouds. grey clouds (in the skyyyyy). they were a weird pretty grey, too... and when i looked to my left, there was sun streaming through creating that enviable "silver lining" that always sounds so nice and actually really is! anyway, so prayer is always good... then breakfast which is always... breakfast, we'll leave it at that. then talking with tim in the lounge about life and life and a dash of life, just ta throw you off. ;) anyway, so then... sat around, waited for the can't keep my eyes open phase soon to be followed by my hysterics phase... didn't come. instead, for some reason, i went into an upset phase, and that was annoying! but, i went to calc, caught a few winks, then came back, still being angry and grrrful. so, i decided a nap was in order. history? who cares? not in the mood, 'bout to hurt someone (trisha, where are your hands to punch when i need them?) anyway, so, nap didn't come... God and tears did. it was very good though, i love tears from God! they just make your day so much better! honestly, it let me get rid of a lot of the anger and annoyance. but it wasn't all gone yet. so... hmmm, i need a pick guard, how 'bout a nice walk to the guitar place hefting my guitar the whole way? sure, GREAT way to burn off steam, i HIGHLY recommend it! so, talked to God the whole way there, saw robins along the way and nice blooming foliage :) so, get to the place, they say, ummm, yeah, we don't have the material to make clear pick guards right now, so... come back later next week? ugh. okay, so good workout, not what i had in mind as a habitual trek. so, as i ponder my dilemma, God gives me another idea - ask them to figure out the proportions NOW, then i won't have to bring the guitar back! so, i asked if it could be done, and the guy pulleed out a pick guard, and it was the PERFECT FIT - praise to God, amen? amen! anyway, so then i'm chipper all the way back to campus... until i get on im with my mom... and she tells me that jack, my grandmother's really good friend and almost a boyfriend, if old people still call it that, has died... on my grandmother's birthday. not fun. so, of course, since i've had an upset day anyway, and i was just on a happy high, i cried. sort of for losing jack (and we think he was a Christian, praise to God for that!... some people from my aunt's church apparently talked to him or something), but more for my grandmother, because i've caught myself looking for steven or heather in the caf, even when i know they aren't there. and i think it's gonna hit her hard every time. but, God is her helper and strength and comfort... i have every confidence in His abilities. and just to reassure me, a mockingbird just piped up outside. so, then there was history, and now i'm here, writing, wondering what in the world God will do next. Father, i pray for less stress, wisdom for tim in all he does, i praise you for trisha's cool story, i thank you for the time we've all had with that lovely guitar, i pray for alison, i pray for boundaries of judgment, i pray for ways to tell people they are wrong, i pray for beth and her zillion things to do, i pray for chris and jed and julie, that You would touch them this week and let everyone around them clearly see Your brilliance. i pray for ben and steven and billy and anyone else who may be having a bad day or issues or struggles. i pray for lindsay and katy and jennie, and i thank you for encouraging friends that you have blessed me with. in Jesus' name... |