Gackt: *still locked in the stairwell* Alright...I’ve gotta do something... I’m going in! *remote gasping noises* *tries to open the door but it’s magickally locked from the outside* GR! LET ME OUT!
Everyone else: *stare at the door*
jo: Who’s in there?
Sarah: G–
Yuki: The killer.
jo: KILLER?!
Ken: But I thought it was Ga–
Yuki: *covers Ken’s mouth* The killer.
Hyde: No, it’s Gac–
Yuki: I said the KILLER!
jo: GACKT!
Yuki: No, it’s the killer! Not Gackt, the killer!
jo: What? It’s Gackt?
Yuki: NO! KILLER!!!
jo: A KILLER? GACKT!
Yuki: Stop saying GACKT! IT’S NOT GACKT IT’S A KILLER!
jo: GACKT IS A KILLER?! OH MY GACKT!
Yuki: What?
jo: What...
Ken: Huh?
Sarah: Um...
Tetsu: Who?
Hyde: Gackt...
Yuki: No...
jo: But I thought...
Sarah: Apparently you thought wrong.
Hyde: Apparently.
Yuki: Yes.
Ken: Yes.
Tetsu: Yeah.
Sarah: Yup.
Gackt: Uh huh.
jo: OH MY GACKT! It’s Gackt!
Yuki: Why does she keep saying that!?
Hyde: Did she have a bowl of stupid for breakfast?
Sarah: Who knows?
Gackt: STOP THIS POINTLESS INSANITY! *blasts them with the hose* (AND THIS IS NOT A WATER FIGHT!)
Tetsu: Oh damn.
Hyde: Gackt~! There’s no need for cold water! We’re normal now.
Gackt: Normal...? NORMAL?! I’LL GIVE YOU NORMAL!!!
jo: WOW HE’S HOTT!
Sarah: You can say that again!
jo: WOW HE’S– *gets shot down by a huge, forceful stream of water*
Tetsu: Oh no! He’s peeing on us!
Sarah: Damn! We should end this episode here...
jo: You’re right, it’s getting boring.
Hyde: But it’s too early to end it here...
Ken: I know! We’ll make commercials!
Yuki: Oh boy, I’ll get the camera!
Sarah: I’m camera girl!
Tetsu: Commercials? YAY!
Gackt: Did someone say commercials?!

~~~

Yuki: Ok...ok, this is me doing a pocky commercial... *laugh* Ok, this is...um, some pocky! *shakes the box* Green Tea flavored! ...Buy it at Yukihiro’s Store!
Hyde: *from off camera* CUT!

~~~

Gackt: *standing next to Hyde*
Hyde: *standing next to Gackt*
Gackt: Trojan! The condom you can trust! *pretends to hold it up*
Hyde: *busts out laughing and falls over*
Sarah: *drops the camera so it’s now filming people’s feet*

~~~

Ken: Hi, I’m Johnny Knoxville, and you’re watching Jackass.

~~~

jo: I PPPPUT A THPELL ON YOU!

~~~

Sarah: Ok, this is me interviewing Ed Sullivan...
Ed Sullivan: Well Sarah, we’ve got a great show for you tonight!

~~~

Gackt: *the macarena comes on and he starts dancing*
someone off camera: CUT! Take 5,409,294...

~~~

Hyde: Oops, don’t touch the sides! ...Butter fingers!

~~~

Tetsu: And, there you have it folks. The lesson in this episode is as follows: COFFEE BAD! POCKY GOOD! *Sarah throws the camera at his head and everything goes fuzzy*

~~~

Yuki: *holding a sign in front of his face that says ‘The End’* *gets pummeled with various household objects*

~~~

And that’s all she wrote! Probably because she was mother fucking tired of typing. But anyway, don’t miss the next episode of Bpass: Backwoods Retards!