I've been preoccupied lately for the things that was going on with my life. However, I am happy and contented with the result because it brought me tremendous improvement of myself. Now I dont feel alone, I regain my strength and the power of positive thinking to rise after the downfalls. I am stronger, I am renewed and I see the lighter side of me leaving yesterday behind. No looking back of the past failures, no turning back to a place where i fall.
My daily routine has change a lot, although my computer routine never change because its always open but i am glad i able to take myself away from here instead, I make my time useful for me and my kids. I spent quality time with them, I admit, I was so depressed before. There are times that I want a company of friends even a stranger just to keep me away from thinking about my failures in life, about the death of my father, about the hard times and about feeling of being alone. Being alone is the hardest thing I ever experienced, Its the worst enemy of myself when I feel it because I tend to self-pity and I cant move on to the life I want. There are moments when I require solitude, remoteness,uninhabited place where i can hide away from the suspecting stare of people around me, from all the questions they want to ask and from all their misjudgements. Contrary to these, i found an object that brought me to be oblivious of something. In the first year, I enjoy it so much because it really help me overcome my loneliness. Honestly, I was addicted to computer as an option where i can pour some of my ideas, thoughts and emotions. I gain some friends and i loose some friends. It brought me pain, sadness, and it makes me happy at times but it help me to learn some lessons in life as well.
I go with the ebb to lessen the intensity or pressure i have had. I learn to take life lighty and i learn to give myself more loving than loving others. I have tried hard enough in life and love, seemingly forgetful about the real essence and purpose why I live.. I just want to be happy in love but there are people who cant understand you because they are blinded by the rage that develope their impulses. They will take advantage of your weaknesses and they didnt know that they hurt. However, it doesnt stop me for what i am inclined to do. Yet, I started to reap what i sow and I am quietly happy about it now. Love is really greatest of all.. despite of trials and tribulations that try to hinder your way. if you inject love then you will get love.
Love is like a wind.......you cant touch it, you cant hold it, you cant see it but you can feel it. But you cant feel the real thing if you dont have conviction and passion that could intensify or overpower your emotions. True love will find way, it will be forever and it will be an honest feeling you feel from your heart.
