Chapter 2 I sit here now, solidly looking at them as they glance around and stir and look uneasy. They have no idea what they're doing. Is it wrong to feel so powerful? I wonder if this is how Lucius felt around ... everyone. I wonder if this is how he still feels. He always had charisma, enough to spare, enough to throw around like knuts and pocket lint. I always despised that of him. The charisma and power he exuded that day, that first day, for example. That might be one of the strongest examples I can remember of. With just a look, Lucius pulled me away from some potentially great friends. With just a couple words, I turned away and never looked back. Before I had left for Hogwarts, I told Mother I wanted to be in Ravenclaw. I always liked reading and learning. When Remus told me he wanted to be in Ravenclaw as well, my heart soared, to use a horrid clich�. Even after I left them, when I was with Lucius for the rest of the train ride, I thought in the back of my mind, what if I am put in Ravenclaw and Remus is too, and then I'll have another friend. Lucius seemed to know I was thinking these things and he kept on fixing hostile glowers on me, which caused me to shrink into my seat and my robes. The new, starchy black robes easily hid me. I was a small boy and these big garments seemed to grow into my long black hair to create an all-encompassing cloak to hide me from everyone. The sorting ceremony went quickly. I made it through on pure adrenaline. I was the last of the people I knew. Lucius, of course, went to Slytherin. James Potter and Sirius Black were sorted into Gryffindor, something they didn't seem very surprised with. Remus, also, was put into Gryffindor. When his house was announced, my heart dropped to my ankles. There was no way I was going to be in Gryffindor. There was no way I would be with that nice boy, who honestly wanted to be my friend and had no ulterior motives. I wasn't brave, I wasn't Gryffindor material. My friendship with Lucius proved, quite simply, how spineless I was. I glanced behind me at the house tables. I was standing right in front of the Gryffindor table. Remus, James and Sirius were sitting together, smiling happily, obviously content with their lot. Not one looked toward me. I was part of their past, someone they had forgotten the moment I had walked out the door. My look turned back to the stool in front of me. There were only a few children left. Soon, my name was called. I walked up, hoping that some miracle happened and the Hat saw some hint of bravery deep down, something that would redeem me. I wanted to be with them, I wanted to be in Gryffindor. 'Gryffindor, Gryffindor ...' I thought into the Hat, as strongly as I could. A buzzing voice entered my skull, "Gryffindor, you ask? It doesn't seem like you'd be fit for Gryffindor. Not Hufflepuff either, oh no. Maybe Ravenclaw ... wait, what was your name again? Ah, yes, I forgot. Of course you'll be in ..." "SLYTHERIN!" And the hat was lifted away from me. The new Gryffindors still didn't look up at me. In fact, the only recognition I got was loud clapping from the Slytherin table. I suppose that was to be expected, but an odd disappointment invaded my senses. I wished Remus or James would at least look up, sad that I wasntt with them. I numbly walked toward the Slytherin table and, of course, sat next to Lucius. Always next to Lucius, always behind Lucius. I suppose I should have learned early on that was what I was called to do. |
