Title: the past affects us all Author: Fyre Rating: PG-13 Warning: Nothing really. Fandom: Harry Potter Feedback: loved. Disclaimer: JKR owns Harry Potter and all associated characters. This is written just for fun ... I will get no money from this. Chapter 1 From day one, things went wrong. At least, I'd like to think that. That sentence makes it sound like everything was out of my control and I couldn?t stop things from going wrong. It's very vague and you can only guess what day day one was. Was it the first day of Hogwarts? The first day I met Lucius? What about the first day I met James Potter and his crew? Or could it go as far back as my birthday? It's vague. That's why I like that sentence. It was wrong from day one. It wasn't my fault. Things just turned out this way. I had nothing to do with it. At least, I'd like to think that. I had everything to do with it. I could have made different choices, taken different paths and said different things. Of course I didn't. Peer pressure existed even back then, although kids nowadays seem to think they invented it--along with everything else. But no matter. This isn't about them at all. My situation with them is simply the effect of what happened. Everything is simply the effect. The first day of Hogwarts, after Father and Mother waved goodbye to me as I boarded the train, I knew one person. Lucius Malfoy. Of course I knew Lucius; I had known him since before I could walk. His father and mine were childhood friends and it just seemed right for us to be as well. It had never been told to me in so many words, but it seemed that for generations my family served as ... lackeys, if you will, for the Malfoys. Not lackeys as in we would do whatever they wanted. Maybe a sidekick would be a better word. No matter. This isn't important. What's important is that Lucius Malfoy was the only person I knew. So, of course, I wandered the train looking for him. I searched everything, but to no avail. Finally, in the last cabin I opened, I found, not Lucius, but a small brown-haired boy sitting alone. As soon as I opened the door to peek in, his face lifted and lighted, as if someone had lit a gorgeous, huge lantern in his skull. He stood up quickly and walked to the door before I could shut it and run, far away from this strange, grinning boy. The boy grabbed my hand and, smiling way too widely, said, "Hi! I'm Remus Lupin!" On pure instinct, I replied, "Nice to meet you." I told him my name, just as my etiquette and manners lessons that had been drilled into me dictated. He smiled even wider and pulled me down to sit. "Are you a first year? I'm a first year and I don't know anyone at all because my family didn't think I'd be accepted to Hogwarts so they didn't bother to introduce me to any kids my age that they knew but I was accepted I'm so excited and I'm really happy to meet you because now I know someone and what house do you want to be in? My family has all been in Ravenclaw so I'm guessing I'll be put in Ravenclaw too, wow your hair is so pretty and long, I'd like to grow my hair out but my mother is very strict--" he paused to take a breath. I was shocked. This boy, this Remus Lupin, was following no rules of etiquette I knew and I was thoroughly confused. It almost seemed he wasn't well-bred, but I recognized the last name Lupin and knew them as one of the few completely pure bred families left in the wizarding world. I had never heard of a Remus Lupin, though. Probably because, like he mentioned, he had been thought to be a squib. Before I could answer his questions, a knock came on the door. A boy with bushy black hair and glasses stuck his head in and briskly asked, "Mind if we come in? All the others are filled up. It's only Sirius and I." Behind the first boy, I could see more black hair, another boy. Remus nodded happily and looked at me with unmasked wild excitement. Well, good for him. More friends--something he obviously needed. Soon after, James Potter (the first boy) and Sirius Black were seated across from Remus and I. James and Sirius had obviously known each other for quite some time, but they didn't exclude Remus and I just because they didn't know us as well. In fact, I felt more comfortable with these three than I ever had with Lucius. As if my thought had conjured the blond boy, another knock came on the door. Cheerily singing out, James said, "Come in!" and in stepped Lucius Malfoy, looking as regal and stiff as usual. James and Sirius almost visibly tensed. Looking around, ice dripping from his gaze, Lucius solemnly intoned, "What interesting playmates you have chosen." Obviously, he was speaking to me, although I was sure the others didn't know it. Gulping and looking at the floor, I answered, "I tried to look for you, but I couldn't find you so I just sat here and ..." I felt ashamed, although for all the breath in me, I couldn't say why. Why would I be ashamed simply because I was meeting new people? The answer was clear--because Lucius hadn't approved this meeting. "Well, I'm so glad you've expanded your social circle. Come now, time to go and meet more ... suitable associates." His gaze seemed to linger on Remus, Lucius' gray eyes turning darker with veiled emotion. Numbly, my eyes stuck on the floor, I picked up my bag and started to follow Lucius out the door. I knew that if I even turned to say goodbye to the other boys, Lucius would not be happy. I felt, not for the first or last time, a wave of immense dislike bordering on true hatred for Lucius and all that he represented. Even though, even with that strong feeling boiling in my soul, I didn?t even attempt a revolt. I simply followed, always the faithful sidekick. I was wrong. Sidekick isn't the right word. Lackey is. |
