Author: Fyre Rating: NC-17. Secretly. >>; <<; Pairing: I haven't decided yet. Notes: Fans demanded it ... The muse inspired it ... And the author cringed. More notes: I agree that this seems like it should rhyme. I agree a lot. Sadly, um, I'm not so hip at the rhyme thing. Yet more notes: Well, there is a tad of rhyming courtesy of Peeves. And I'm being made to confess that my friend Jessie actually wrote the last line of the rhyme. I had "Maybe next time in the pool". Neville the Horny Pig Boy sat up in his bed. He was the only one in the dorm and so decided to masturbate. This was actually quite out of the ordinary for Neville. He usually never had to masturbate anymore, not with all the people clamoring to help, but none seemed to be here at the moment, so Neville decided to settle for his hand and some lotion. Just as he was getting ready, though, Percy burst in. He was looking for Ron, but instead saw Neville sitting pants-less on his bed. Percy said, "Oh dear. Hello, Neville. I thought you didn't do that anymore since you usually, er, don't have to." Neville nodded happily in reply. "Yes, I usually don't. I guess I'm lucky," Neville replied. "Are you busy right now, Percy?" "Well, gosh, not really," Percy blushed. "Seeing as I already have the lotion ready ..." CENSOR!! CENSOR!!!! CENSOR!!!!!! Trevor hopped out of the bathroom right as Percy started to button his shirt back up. Neville abruptly sat up and told Trevor, "Oh, dear, I'm sorry! Did you want to be involved as well?" Trevor's gut bulged. "Gosh, I guess I'm up to it again," Percy thought out loud. CENSOR!!! CENSOR!!!! CENSOR!!!!!!!!!!!! All three lay on the floor, Trevor in the middle. Percy sighed. "I didn't even know that was possible," he murmured. Neville the Horny Pig Boy glanced over at the older boy and solemnly told him, "I have much to teach you." And so they went out. Right outside the Gryffindor dorm entrance, Percy, Neville and Trevor met Peeves the poltergeist. Neville smiled at Peeves. "Hello! How are you, Peeves? I haven't seen you around lately." Peeves hummed and threw a toilet paper roll at Percy. "Neville, Neville, the horny corny pig boy! Neville, Neville, he's everybody?s boy toy! Neville, Neville, he's been around the school! Neville, Neville, I wanna ride him like a mule!" "Silly Peeves, you're a ghost! You can only watch--not actually participate," Neville gently corrected. Peeves looked sad then, so Neville continued, "But you're always welcome to watch! In fact, we're off to find Professor Snape right now, if you'd to join us." Peeves grinned insanely and tried to pinch Percy's butt. When he failed, Peeves contented himself darting around and screaming. Percy leaned toward Neville and whispered, "Snape? Are you sure?" Neville the Horny Pig Boy grinned knowingly and replied, "More than sure. He can teach you things you'd never imagine." Later, Neville knocked on the door to Snape's chambers. A disgruntled yell told him to come in and be quick about it. Neville ushered his companions in before him, then happily called to Snape, "It's me! Here to serve my detention!" Still grumbling, Snape came out to the main hall, where Neville, Percy, Trevor and Peeves were. He brightened up as he looked over the group. "You brought friends." Neville edged toward him. "Oh yes. And they need to be punished as well." CENSOR!!! CENSOR!!!!! CENSOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Snape fixed his collar. "I got an owl from Hagrid earlier today. He told me Fang needed to be fed." Neville snuggled into Percy's chest more as he sniggered. "Fang is always hungry, isn't he?" Neville asked. Peeves danced and said, "I like watching Fang get fed." Percy looked disgruntled and asked Neville the Horny Pig Boy, "Am I the only one that doesn't know what's going on?" At that, Neville jumped up and exclaimed, "Gosh, that reminds me! Professor Flitwick also wanted to be taught!" "Flitwick?" Snape said, looking skeptical. "Ooooh, Flitwickky-foo!" Peeves squealed. "I'll go get him! Meet you in the Great Hall!" And with that, Peeves was gone. Trevor croaked a long croak. Neville scolded him, "Oh, don't you say that. Professor Flitwick is a nice man and is simply interested in more than McGonagall can give him. I'm happy to help him out, as I'm sure Snape and Percy are and as you should be too." Trevor looked appropriately admonished. Neville helped Percy to his feet and they were soon on their way. Making sure to stay far away from Snape, Percy asked Neville the Horny Pig Boy, "Doesn't this type of ... activity ... interfere with your school life and how teachers see you?" "Oh, not at all! This is strictly a mixture of business and pleasure. We know where to draw the line," Neville strongly said. Snape said nothing. Professor Flitwick and Peeves were waiting in the Great Hall. Neville bounded over to them and hugged Professor Flitwick, slipping his hand underneath his robes for a split-second. "Oh, Professor Flitwick, I'm so happy you decided to join us! Percy is new too and we're just about to join up with Hagrid. It will be fun." Neville walked to Hagrid's hut with Flitwick, Percy and Snape behind them and Peeves everywhere. Neville started to respectably knock on Hagrid?s door, but it swung open at his touch. Hagrid's voice drifted out to the people standing by his door. "I've been waiting for you, Neville ... and whoever's with him. Come ... in so many ways." CENSOR!!!!! CENSOR!!!!!!!!!! CENSOR!!!!!!!!! Trevor farted. "Aw, Trevor, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you wanted to be the only animal involved," Neville sympathized. Fang barked. |
