A Shakespearian Tragedy of Modern Telling
Act I - Scene I
Buttox Then I shalt decree thou eateth thyne pantaloons.
Pygskyn Thou art not a gentleman, thou art an ass.
Buttox I knoweth, Pygskyn, alas thou art a Pansy.
Pygskyn Oh, that were beloweth the belt. Thou art a WITCH! Thou shalt burneth
on the stake!
Buttox Alas, Pygskyn, I caneth not be-eth a witch for I be-eth a nobleman, with
riches and other worldly goods.
Pygskyn Ha! Thou art not rich. Thou liveth in the dytch.
Buttox I doth be-eth a nobleman, THOU art a beggar and THOU liveth in a dytch.
Enter Fygget
Pygskyn Oh looketh, it doth be-eth Fygget!
Fygget Oh dear noblemen. Thou be-eth at war?
Buttox Yeseth, alas Pygskyn hath starteth the war.
Pygskyn Nay, thou starteth the war. Thou art an ass!
Fygget Halteth! Both of thou art asses.
(Buttox turns to Pygskyn)
Buttox Shouldeth we?
Pygskyn Yeseth, Fygget thou art deadeth!
Buttox Pygskyn, where art thyne machete?
Fygget Alas, do not killeth of me, I art thyne king.
Buttox King?
(Pygskyn turns to Buttox)
Pygskyn King?
Fygget Yeseth, and I decree that thou shalt die-eth!
(In a rush enter about 50 machete armed Chinese Warriors)
Warriors DIE - ETH!!!
Pygskyn & Buttox Runeth for thyne life-eth!!
Fygget No-eth, I art thyne king and I decree thou shalt DIE-ETH!!!
Warriors They shalt not get awayeth!
Pygskyn & Buttox AAAAAAAAAAARGH - ETH!!!
(exeunt Pygskyn and Buttox)