(A3e1) care of homosexuals

One, and perhaps the main, aspect of homosexual and lesbian sexual orientation is the sexual attraction to members of the same sex. Some of the different aspects of this are spiritual, physical, environmental, social and educational. The 2 prevailing views of homosexuality are a) homosexual orientation is inherited or genetic and b) homosexual orientation and behaviour are learned. ******* Homosexual practices are spiritually and physically destructive. The life expectancy of homosexuals and lesbians is significantly less than the life expectancy for the rest of the population. ******* The essestial care of homosexuals consists of saving them from spiritual and physical death. ********************************************************************************************************************** As of this date 05-10-14, this folder contains 6 articles. ******* item 1 DENIAL OF SPACE FOR "PARENTS AND FRIENDS OF EX-GAYS" ******* item 2 AN ARTICLE BY STEPHEN BENNET, A FORMER HOMOSEXUAL ******* item 3 HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA UNRELATED TO CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT ******* item 4 NEW COALITION TO HELP HOMOSEXUALS SWITCH TO NON-"GAY" ALTERNATIVES ******* item 5 BE A MENTOR ******* item 6 DR. ROBERT SPITZER ********************************************************************************************************************* ******* item 1 DENIAL OF SPACE FOR "PARENTS AND FRIENDS OF EX-GAYS" ******* Date: Mon, 1 Jul 2002 10:30:29 -0500 ******* Subject: EX-GAY BOOTH REJECTED BY NEA; GROUP FILES COMPLAINT ******* From Linda Harvey and Mission America ******* The news release below reflects what is an unbelievable turn of events in our public schools, one still unknown by most American moms and dads, grandmas and granddads. ******* The tragic fact is that, in many if not most schools now,a student cannot be turned from homosexuality toward heterosexuality. To do so is considered not just discrimination, but "damaging" according to most of the professional organizations advising counselors and psychologists, as well as the ACLU and other legal defense pressure groups, and the NEA. ******* On the contrary, in a rapidly growing number of schools, a student who confesses to a counelor, administrator or teacher that he or she "wonders" if he/she might "be" a homosexual, is supported, comforted and nurtured in that desire, instead of being told to reject it. This happens of course after the student has come to that belief after being bombarded at every turn with images and propaganda about homosexual sex. ******* Has our love for our children grown cold? ******* NEWS RELEASE ******* June 28, 2002 ******* Contact: Regina Griggs at 703-360-2225 ******* http://www.pfox.org Ex-Gay Group Files Sexual Orientation Discrimination Complaint Against National Education Association ******* Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX) has filed a sexual orientation discrimination complaint against the National Education Association (NEA) with the District of Columbia Office of Human Rights. The NEA is the largest educators' union in the United States. PFOX is a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting those families whose lives have been affected by homosexuality. ******* Last March, PFOX applied to the NEA to lease an exhibit booth at the June 30 NEA Expo. PFOX explained that it wished to distribute educational materials promoting equal opportunity and an inclusive environment for the ex-gay community. ******* On June 7, 2002, Carolyn Cruise, of the NEA Executive Office, called PFOX to say that NEA would send a letter informing PFOX if it had been accepted as an exhibitor. Ms. Cruise claimed that exhibit booths were limited and NEA gave priority to applicants that had exhibited with them in the past. According to Regina Griggs, PFOX Executive Director, "We informed Ms. Cruise that our PFOX check for the initial deposit for the booth had already been accepted and cashed by NEA over two months ago." ******* After speaking with NEA, PFOX anonymously called the NEA exhibit booth outside contractor, CEPI, Inc., and asked if there were any booths available for the NEA Expo. Said Griggs, "CEPA informed us that there were two NEA booths left and we could have one if we paid in full by credit card. They faxed the NEA application to us with a dated cover sheet on it. They also said that they were expecting booth cancellations and we could call back at a later date for one of those cancelled spots." ******* Nowhere on the application does it state that booth acceptance is based on prior participation as an NEA exhibitor. On the contrary, the NEA website states that placement for the best booth spaces is assigned on prior participation as an NEA exhibitor and on the date the application is received. Said Griggs, "PFOX timely filed its application and would have accepted any booth space available, with the understanding that the best booth spaces go to prior exhibitors. The NEA website clearly states that '[p]rocessing of application and space assignments will begin on March 15, 2002.' We submitted our application soon after that date, yet it was not processed for space assignment along with the others." ******** More than two months after PFOX had applied and paid for the booth space, PFOX received a letter dated June 10 from Thomasine Williams, NEA Conference Coordinator, rejecting its application because the exhibit booth space had been "completely sold out." Said Griggs, "NEA rejected our application on the basis of sexual orientation discrimination, but is hiding behind a �sorry, all sold out� excuse. It seems that NEA has violated its own resolutions against sexual orientation discrimination." # # # ******* Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays (PFOX) Box 561 Fort Belvoir VA 22060 ******************************************************************************************************************** ******* item 2 AN ARTICLE BY STEPHEN BENNET, A FORMER HOMOSEXUAL ******* From: "D.Fernandes" and Stephen Bennett Ministries ******* Visit Us at www.SBMinistries.org ******* P.O.Box 2095 - Huntington, CT 06484 Nationwide Toll-Free 1-800-832-3623 ******* A Pro-Family Organization Advocating For The Traditional Family, the Protection Of Children And Sharing The Truth About Homosexuality With The World ******* Subject: HOMOSEXUALITY & AMERICA ******* Date: Mon, 29 Jul 2002 22:48:40 -0700 ******* Friends: ******* Stephen Bennett and his wife have answered the Lord's call to reach out in truth and compassion to homosexual people who are hurting. Please keep them in your prayers. It is no easy task to take on powerful and influential lobby groups. This man needs our help and support. ******* Deanna ********************************************************************************************************************** ******* Dear Ministry Friend: ******* By God's grace alone, at 28 years old in 1992, I was delivered from the homosexual lifestyle - a lifestyle that nearly destroyed me. After 11 years sexually active with well over 100 men (many of whom are dead today from AIDS), it's a miracle I'm even alive, never infected with HIV. ******* As many of you know, I am happily married over 9 years to my incredible wife Irene, who knew me when I was single and homosexual, and never stopped praying for my salvation. Our two beautiful little children, Chloe (4) and Blake (2), both born on the same exact day 2 years apart, just celebrated their birthdays this past week. God has truly blessed me with a beautiful family, something I could have only dreamed about as a homosexual. He has made me into a new creation, COMPLETELY set free from my destructive homosexual past. ******* Today, God has called our family onto the frontlines to reach the WORLD with the truth about homosexuality: (1) How NO ONE is born 'gay'; (2) How it has EVERYTHING to do with one's childhood, and (3) That COMPLETE change is COMPLETELY possible -- and of course, JESUS CHRIST is the way. ******* We are making incredible strides in sharing this truth. I am now speaking weekly, nationally on Christian and secular radio, as well as traveling to churches across the country. My third CD "Let Me Show You Jesus" is playing nationally on Christian radio, and the entire CD is evangelistic to reach the homosexual for Christ. America's eyes, one soul at a time, are being opened to the truth about this sin that is destroying our nation from within. ******* Many times, this battle for righteousness seems lonely. While we have answered the call of the Lord and left everything to go into this ministry full-time, I must admit, it gets overwhelming. The financial burdens of the ministry and supporting our family can be discouraging. That's why I'm asking you if you have a heart for the homosexual man and woman as well as stopping this nation's walk down the 'gay' path, we TRULY need your help. ******* Literally thousands of calls from around the country have come in - people looking for help, for answers, for prayer -- and we respond. Many of these calls are from homosexual men and women themselves who want to change. In addition, we are on the frontlines taking a bold, VOCAL stand against same-sex marriage initiatives, 'civil unions,' special rights for homosexuals, and the promotion of homosexuality in America's public schools through GLSEN and other organizations, but we CAN NOT DO THIS ALONE. ******* I AM ASKING FOR YOUR FINANCIAL HELP. The homosexual lobbyist and activist organizations are well funded and supported and making GREAT leaps and bounds in 'homosexualizing' America. Yet while Christians around the country appreciate what we are doing, we need your financial help. ******* WE ARE at the eleventh hour with the issue of homosexuality. Once we pass the 'point of no return', there will be no turning back. WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE NOW - BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE. ******* I ask that you go before the Lord, and prayerfully ask what HE would have you to do to support the work of STEPHEN BENNETT MINISTRIES. Please consider the BEST possible gift you can. I also ask that you consider becoming a MONTHLY SUPPORT PARTNER of Stephen Bennett Ministries for $20 or more. Your financial support is crucial at this time... PLEASE, do what ever you can. ******* For your gift of $25 or more, I will send you my NEW 1-1/2 hour cassette ------------------------------------------- 'AMERICA: Sodom & Gomorrah Resurrected' - any eye opening EXPOSE on the Secret 'Gay' Rights Agenda in America... I guarantee you will NEVER look at homosexuality the same again. ------------------------------------------- *To make your Gift available ONLINE by MC/VISA, or to purchase any of our music or resources, please go to : http://ssl.adgrafix.com/cgi-bin/checkitout/checkitout.cgi?signsourSTORE: home------------------------------------------- *To make your Gift available by telephone, call 1-800-832-3623 - or mail your check to the above address. ------------------------------------------- PLEASE... Help us continue the work the Lord has called us to do. WE CAN NO LONGER DO IT ALONE. Thank you, and Lord bless you - ------------------------------------------- In Christ, ------------------------------------------- Stephen Bennett Stephen Bennett Ministries --------------------------------------------------------------------- *In August, Stephen Bennett Ministries will be producing a GROUNDBREAKING evangelistic cassette to pass out to the HOMOSEXUAL man and woman. The cassette will be sharing the truth about the homosexual lifestyle, why they ended up down that path, how they were NOT born that way, and how they can TRULY change. The GOSPEL will be on there as well, and a chance at the end for them to PRAY AND RECEIVE JESUS CHRIST. ******* We will be FLOODING the nation with TENS OF THOUSANDS of these cassettes. This can only happen WITH YOUR HELP. PLEASE... Join us and BE A PART of CHANGING this nation's view about homosexuality... we CAN turn this nation around! PLEASE help MAKE A DIFFERENCE.. before it's TOO LATE. --------------------------------------------------------------------- * Stephen and Irene Bennett will be with REV. JERRY FALWELL on "Listen America!' - LIVE, FRIDAY Oct. 18th... please check your local television listings for channel and time. --------------------------------------------------------------------- *Stephen Bennett writes Commentary for www.WorldNetDaily.com on the homosexual agenda and 'Coming Out' of homosexuality. Please go to www.SBMinistries.org to read all of his recent articles. --------------------------------------------------------------------- * The producers of PHIL DONAHUE on MSNBC & SEAN HANNITY'S national radio show on ABC made contact last week and will be possibly scheduling the BENNETTS for an interview... we'll keep you posted. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Have Stephen Bennett minister at YOUR CHURCH... www.SBMinistries.org/yourchurch.html --------------------------------------------------------------------- Join us Fri., Sat. & Sun. Oct. 11-13th in Connecticut for Stephen Bennett Ministries 'FALL WEEKEND IN NEW ENGLAND - CONFERENCE 2002 - COMING OUT OF HOMOSEXUALITY - CHANGE IS POSSIBLE!' at the Shelton Marriott Conference Center.. Register Now.. For parents & friends of homosexuals, homosexual men and women unhappy with their same sex attractions, Christians (single and married) struggling with same sex attractions and clergy looking to effectively minister to the homosexual... www.SBMinistries.org/conferen.html --------------------------------------------------------------------- Sign up to receive Stephen Bennett Ministries Bi-Monthly NewsMagazine - jam packed with articles, news and practical, biblical means of reaching the homosexual for Christ. An excellent resource also for information on the homosexual agenda in America. 6 issues for your gift of $15, or FREE with your ANNUAL MEMBERSHIP to Stephen Bennett Ministries. Go to: http://ssl.adgrafix.com/cgi-bin/checkitout/checkitout.cgi?signsourSTORE: home --------------------------------------------------------------------- Was this e-mail forwarded from a friend? Sign up to receive your own copy of our ministry updates [email protected] ********************************************************************************************************************** ******* item 3 HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA UNRELATED TO CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT ******* From: "PFOX" ******* Subject: Civil Rights ******* Date: Sat, 31 May 2003 15:47:56 +0000 ******* Conservative Blacks Insist HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA UNRELATED TO CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT ******* By Lawrence Morahan, CNSNews.com Senior Staff Writer ******* May 30, 2003 ******* CNSNews.com) - As homosexual advocacy groups increasingly model their push for greater acceptance on the rhetoric and tactics of the civil rights movement of the 1960s, some black groups are beginning to take exception. ******* The comparison between the two movements and the "rights" associated with them can be misleading, said David Almasi, director for Project 21, a group of conservative black leaders. ******* "Homosexuality is behavior. It's not something you're born with," Almasi said. ******* The homosexual movement identifies itself with a number of sympathetic causes, including the Holocaust remembrance and the civil rights struggle, to advance its effort to gain acceptance. But any success the homosexual groups are having is attributable not to the legitimacy of their cause, but to a growing "culture of diversity and victimology," Almasi said. ******* "They're asking, 'If we can make gains in civil rights for different races, why not go for sexual orientation?'" he said. ******* Pastor D.L. Foster, founder of Witness! - an Atlanta, Ga.-based fellowship of 11 African American ministries that reach out primarily to black people struggling with homosexuality - said he is offended by the comparison. ******* "It's not so much the gay rights groups that I'm upset with, it's with so-called black leaders who have taken up this lie for the gay community and are pushing it for them." ******* Dr. John Diggs, a physician with the Massachusetts Physicians Resource Council, also said homosexual groups are trying to take advantage of the success of the civil rights movement. ******* "Part of the whole gay agenda is to cast homosexuals in some sort of sympathetic light, so if it's been recognized worldwide that African Americans conquered a great evil of slavery and the Jim Crow laws through the civil rights movement, they would gladly tag onto that because they're exploiting the moral capital that we've earned," he said. ******* Blacks "can't go to a therapist and say, 'Make me white,'" said Regina Griggs, executive director of Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays, a group that works in partnership with the Witness ministries. "It doesn't work that way." ******* Many black political and religious leaders, including Rev. Jesse Jackson, Rep. Jesse Jackson, Jr. (D-Ill.) and Rep. Maxine Waters (D-Calif.) - not to mention black Democratic presidential candidates Rev. Al Sharpton and former Ill. U.S. Sen. Carol Moseley Braun - actively canvass homosexual groups. ******* Coretta Scott King, widow of Martin Luther King and founder of the King Center in Atlanta, Ga., caused a controversy when she put the prestige of the slain civil rights leader's name behind homosexual organizations. ******* "For many years now, I have been an outspoken supporter of civil and human rights for gay and lesbian people," King said at the 25th anniversary of the Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund, a homosexual advocacy group. "I've always felt that homophobic attitudes and policies were unjust and unworthy of a free society." ******* Patrick Guerriero, executive director of the Log Cabin Republicans, a homosexual pressure group in the GOP, said homosexual groups had more friends than enemies within the African American community. ****** "There's a lot of common ground and a lot of common sentiment about all of us being valuable parts of the American family," he said. ******* Guerriero rejected the notion that homosexuality is something that can be changed. "We believe it's something that is biological, that folks are born with," he said. ******* "It is pretty consistent among gay and lesbian Americans that we didn't wake up some day and choose it like we choose where we're going to have dinner tonight, and most of modern-day psychiatric studies suggest that folks don't choose their sexual orientation, but that they're born with it," Guerriero said. ******* David Smith, a spokesman for the Human Rights Campaign, a national homosexual advocacy group, said people should not differentiate between "rights." ******* "There's no such thing as gay rights versus civil rights. All people should be treated equally under the law," Smith said. "Gay individuals are not treated equally under the law, as you can be fired in most jurisdictions in this country just for being gay. ******* "Gay people do not have civil rights, and we are working to change that, and we're not comparing ourselves to any other group," he said. ******* Smith also took issue with the argument that people are not born homosexual. ******* "There's a growing body of evidence to indicate that there's a biological basis for homosexuality. Gay people are not defined by what they do, they're defined by who they are," he said. ******* If homosexual groups can convince people that homosexuality is innate - like race and ethnicity - they stand a better chance of gaining recognition as a protected minority class under federal law, analysts said. This would lead, among other things, to the lifting of the military's ban on service by open homosexuals and the legal recognition of same-sex marriages. ******* While experts see the issue of what determines homosexuality as extremely complex, most agree that homosexual attraction, like many other strong attractions, likely includes both biological and environmental influences, researchers from the National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality report. ******* However, scientific attempts to demonstrate that homosexual attraction is biologically determined have failed, they said. ******* Moreover, Dr. Robert Spitzer, a prominent psychiatrist and researcher at Columbia University and an advocate of the 1973 decision to remove homosexuality from the American Psychiatric Association's diagnostic manual of psychiatric disorders, recently reversed his stance. ******* After studying whether individuals can change, he concluded: "I'm convinced from the people I have interviewed, that for many of them, they have made substantial changes toward becoming heterosexual," he said. "I came to this study skeptical. I now claim that these changes can be sustained." *******### PFOX -- Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays, Box 561, Fort Belvoir VA 22060, 703-360-2225, [email protected], http://www.pfox.org ==^================================================================ TOPICA - Start your own email discussion group. FREE! http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/create/index2.html ==^================================================================ ********************************************************************************************************************** ******* item 4 NEW COALITION TO HELP HOMOSEXUALS SWITCH TO NON-"GAY" ALTERNATIVES ******* JERSEY CITY, July 9, 2003 (LifeSiteNews.com) - A group of 11 organizations that "serve people conflicted over unwanted homosexual attractions" has formed the PATH (Positive Alternatives to Homosexuality) coalition to help penitent homosexuals to combat their homosexual tendencies. ******* "It's an utterly false stereotype to assume that anyone with homosexual feelings just wants to be accepted and affirmed as gay," Arthur Goldberg, coalition president, told MarketWire. "Many do not. They don't object to others choosing to live a homosexual life, but it's not what they want for their own lives. Those who voluntarily choose an alternative path deserve equal respect and support. And the fact is ... people can and do change. ... Sexual desires are not immutable." ******* The coalition includes non-religious, therapeutic and research groups in the U.S. and Germany as well as Black, Catholic, Jewish, Mormon and Protestant ministries, according to a report from MarketWire. ******* For newswire coverage: http://www.marketwire.com/mw/release_html_b1?release_id=55252 ******* To visit the newly established PATH website: www.pathinfo.org ****************************** References from CFAC: Pedophilia - The coming blight on society � Pedophile recidivism rate frightening � Sex crazed society wants "anything goes". ********************************************************************************************************************** ******* item 5 BE A MENTOR ******* From: "PFOX" ******* Date: Tue, 28 Dec 2004 ******* THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A GOOD MENTOR ******* Men struggling with same sex attraction need good male mentors ******* by Steven Donaldson M.A. L.P.C. and Del Thornton, M.S.W. L.C.S.W. of Mosaic Counseling Associates, Portland Oregon ******* To be effective, a mentor must have several characteristics. No one can be the perfect embodiment of these characteristics. A good mentor must demonstrate self-confidence and good moral character. That is, he must have achieved a sense of masculine competence of his own. ******* A good mentor must have strong gender identity. That is, he must feel good about himself as a man. This does not mean being super macho. Being super macho is actually a sign of weak gender identification. Evidence of sound gender security includes the lack of defensiveness or the need to prove anything to anyone, and active participation in his masculine roles, e.g. father, husband, provider, ecclesiastical leader, male friendships, and male-typical activities. In addition, a male with good gender identification relate respectfully and well to women. He respects and likes women and it shows. In essence, he should enjoy every aspect of being a man. ******* A good mentor will have good ego-strength. What this means is that he does not get his feelings hurt easily and has no problem saying 'no." Mentoring can be very trying, and requires tenacity for the long haul. Same sex attraction (SSA) does not form overnight and even with motivated clients it does not go away overnight. The mentor's self-esteem cannot depend on the success of his mentee. He must remain positive, loving, and encouraging, no matter how badly his mentee fails. ******* Men who struggle with SSA can be at the same time emotionally needy and defensively detached. This means they long for emotional contact with men but fear being hurt. At the first sign of abandonment they can become defensive and even reactive which may be interpreted as condescendence. The mentor can never take the defensiveness personally and must be able to set limits on the emotional neediness. ******* A good mentor must be emotionally available. He must be comfortable with his own feelings and able to share these with the mentee. He must be comfortable with his own weaknesses, failures, embarrassments, and fears and be able to share these with the mentee at times when this type of disclosure would be helpful. He must be able to hear the mentee talk about his fears, anger, feelings of inadequacy, and pain without becoming anxious or needing to minimize or fix them. It is not the job of the mentor to know what the mentee should do or to fix them. This very important. The mentor's job is to be present over the long haul and emotionally supportive. The mentor is neither the mentee's moral authority or therapist and does not need to take responsibility for or direct him in these ways. Men who struggle with SSA badly need both spiritual direction and therapeutic help, but this not the role of the mentor. ******* While the mentor must be emotionally available, the mentor should not lean on the mentee for emotional support. The mentor relationship mirrors the relationship of a healthy father-son dynamic. In this dynamic, the father provides for the son but the son does not provide for the father. Fathers get their needs met in the adult world while children seek their emotional support from their parents. ******* A good mentor must be physically affectionate. Many people believe that being physically affectionate with men who struggle with SSA will exacerbate their symptoms. Nothing could be further from the truth. Men who struggle with SSA are afraid of male affection. It is precisely this fear that makes male affection so intensely sexually interesting. As long as the mentor has a strong gender identity, there is no chance of the encounter becoming sexual. This is exactly the kind of safety the mentee needs to experiment with allowing himself to genuinely love and need non-sexual male affection. The deepest longing of the man who struggles with SSA is not for sex. It is for love and affirmation. ******* Finally, a mentor must pursue the relationship with the mentee. The mentee at the core does not rust that the mentor could ever be genuinely interested in him and at the same time, need nothing from him. This is a continuation of the father-child injury. For this reason the mentee will not be the initiator in the relationship. This will be re-enacted in the mentoring relationship. In addition, when there is any confusion or conflict the mentee is very likely to assume he did something wrong and withdraw or devalue the relationship. The mentor is very likely to assume he did something wrong and withdraw or devalue the relationship. The mentor must remember that the withdrawal from or devaluing of the relationship is a defense (usually unconscious) against the intense need and longing for the love and affirmation of an idealized male. The mentor must not take anything personally and continue to gently but actively pursue the mentee. ******* Men who struggle with SSA long for a non-anxious connection with men. The mentor needs to take initiative in identifying activities that will be fun for both and yet not too anxiety provoking for the mentee. The mentor should explore common interest such as art, music, theater, cars, or sports. Both can introduce each other to the things they individually enjoy. Over time, the relationship will develop that will allow more risks to be taken with the fear of humiliation. ******* Some men who struggle with SSA have defensively detached from masculinity so extensively that almost any male-typical activity will trigger a fear/inadequacy response. In the beginning, even watching a basketball game may be too much. Defensive detachment seldom is expressed as fear. A mentee will probably never say, "I'm afraid of appearing stupid if I watch a game with you." They are much more likely to express disinterest such as, "I have never seen the point of football. It is nothing but egotistical male aggression.!!" The mentor must see through this defense and slowly encourage his mentee to be a part of the world of men. This can only happen over time and when trust is established. It is not necessary for all men who struggle with SSA to become NFL fans. They must however develop to the point that they can attend a Super Bowl party or a church softball game without feeling overwhelmed with anxiety and inadequacy. ******* Learning to play and be competitive at team sports may often be a problem for men who struggle with SSA. They should be encouraged to do so; however, this should be approached with extreme caution. Even encouragement in this area can trigger significant fear, which leads to compulsions to act out. This is often an area of significant childhood injury and avoidance is well established. It is typical for these men to gravitate toward individual sports such as track, swimming, diving, and ice-skating to avoid being a member of a team. They feel inadequate to perform in a situation where other men rely on them in competition. Even minor failures in a team sport can be experienced as devastating inadequacy and overwhelming humiliation. It may be wise to consult the mentee's therapist before approaching this issue. ******* It is important to include the mentee in your family events. Many men who struggle with SSA come from families with poor dynamics and so have a distorted view of family. ******* Encourage church-based activities, but go slowly. Church attendance can increase anxiety, which in turn can led to increased sexual compulsion. Seek feedback from your mentee. They know what they need. Be open to their suggestions and trust them. If at any point you hurt or disappoint your mentee, sincerely apologize without making excuses. It may be their first experience of humility from an authority figure. This can be very healing. ******* Use their talents. Never evaluate their talents in terms of the masculinity of the activity. All men are created by God, completely masculine. Their preferences, talents, and feelings are completely masculine. Everything about them is completely masculine. The thing men who struggle with SSA lack is an internalized sense (feeling) of masculine adequacy. There is no objective thing that he is lacking. The last thing they need is to have a man they respect infer, even indirectly, that they are in some way less than completely male. ******* Copyright by Steven Donaldson M.A. L.P.C. and Del Thornton, M.S.W. L.C.S.W. of Mosaic Counseling Associates, Portland Oregon - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - To subscribe to this list of ex-gay news and views, send a blank email to: [email protected] ********************************************************************************************************************** ******* item 6 DR. ROBERT SPITZER ******* "PFOX" View Contact Details ******* Date: Thu, 12 May 2005 ******* from Christianity Today, April 2005, Vol. 49, No. 4, Page 94 http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/004/20.94.html ******* SPEAKING OUT Therapeutically Incorrect: Atheist psychiatrist argues that gays can change ******* Interview by Douglas Leblanc ******* Robert L. Spitzer argued in 1973 that homosexuality is not a clinical disorder�key to the American Psychiatric Association arriving at the same conclusion. Thirty years later, Spitzer caused another stir when he argued that some people who want to change their homosexual orientation may do so (Archives of Sexual Behavior, October 2003). ******* Spitzer is professor of psychiatry at Columbia University and chief of the New York State Psychiatric Institute's Biometrics Research Department. He describes himself as a Jewish atheist. Contributing editor Douglas LeBlanc interviewed Spitzer by phone. ******* What prompted you to do a study on reparative therapy for gays? ******* I was at an annual APA (American Psychiatric Association) meeting, where I spoke to some ex-gays who were picketing the meeting. They explained how they had changed. And that got me interested. Then I tried to organize a debate on the issue. When I was organizing the debate, it became clear that many of the people that I wanted to participate said there are really no good studies of this, it's all going to be just opinions. ******* Did anything surprise you as you did your interviews? ******* I guess it surprised me how convincing the accounts were. Joseph Nicolosi [of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality] agreed to refer, I think, 10 or 20 patients to me. But he insisted on getting a summary of the results before going further. He didn't want to be set up, I guess. But from the very first people that I talked to, I had the feeling they were talking about something real. ******* What stood out for you as something that made the patients convincing? ******* You talk to people and you get a sense of whether they're being candid or not. I had the sense that they were. Also, there was a consistency, the fact that the change was described as slow and not immediate. ******* Some of your critics say that only fundamentalists would even think about taking up reparative therapy. ******* The scene has changed drastically over the last 20 or 30 years. When I started clinical practice in 1961, it was very common to get a male patient who wanted to change. Today those people don't go to psychiatrists because the word is out that the mental health profession doesn't regard it as a problem. ******* How has the study affected your standing among your colleagues? ******* Many colleagues were outraged. I remember when it first appeared in the media, I got a letter from, I think, a dean of admissions at Columbia. He wrote me that it was just a disgrace that a Columbia professor should do such a thing. Within the gay community, there was initially tremendous anger and feeling that I had betrayed them. I think that has largely dissipated. But also, I'm at the point in my career that I don't worry about such things. ******* Have you considered conducting a follow-up study? ******* No. I feel a little battle fatigue. But also I'm not sure what the study would be. Some people have said, "Follow these people, interview them five years later, see how many of them have switched back," since it's well known that some ex-gays give it up. ******* But suppose you found that 5 percent or 10 percent did switch back. I mean, so what? You'd find the same thing if you followed people who had treatment for drug addiction. Some are going to relapse. ******* The study that ought to be done is a controlled study where people go into the therapy, and then you initially evaluate them, and then you evaluate them later and see how many actually changed. But that study is not going to be done, unfortunately. ******* Is that because of a lack of interest or funding? ******* The reasons are, number one, reparative therapists are not scientists�they don't do studies. The second reason is, if somebody proposed that the National Institute of Mental Health do such a study, I think almost certainly any gays in the study section would say this is a total waste of time: They would say "We already know it's hokum, so why do it?". ******* You've said very clearly that no one should be coerced into reparative therapy. ******* I think the politically correct term now is reorientation therapy. Reparative already implies something's broken�of course the reparative therapists believe this, but it kind of infuriates the gays to even call it reparative therapy. ******* Copyright � 2005 Christianity Today. Article is located at: http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2005/004/20.94.html - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - To subscribe to this list of ex-gay news and views, send a blank email to: [email protected] *********************************************************************************************************************

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(A3e1e) Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays web site
(A3e1f) (A) life and death activities home page (this web site)

The following warning is a prophetic message given to me, Frank Wagner, in November of 1974. ******* LISTEN TO THE CRY OF THE ABORTED CHILDREN. THEIR CRY IS NO. THEIR CRY IS A CRY OF TERROR. HEED THEIR CRY. ******* This prophecy is now being fulfilled. ******* For details about the source, meaning and fulfillment of this prophetic message go to ******* http://ca.geocities.com/fwagner4/index.html ******* email me at *** [email protected] ***