Memorable Quotes From
Doctor Who


Season 2

Doctor No. 1

Planet of the Giants

Written By Louis Marks

Barbara: It doesn't help that my knee got hit by a huge piece of metal.
Ian: Oh, are you all right?
Barbara: Yes, I'm all right, but do you know what the piece of metal was?
Ian: What?
Barbara: It was - this sounds ridiculous - it was a paperclip.

Ian:[attempting to lift a matchstick with the Doctor telling him to hurry up] Doctor, have you ever tried to lift one of these?


The Dalek Invasion Of Earth

Written by Terry Nation

The Doctor:[to Susan after she twisted her ankle] What you need is a jolly good smacked bottom!

Ian: Sometimes, Doctor, you astound me.
The Doctor: What, only sometimes, dear boy?

Jack Craddock: You're a genius!
The Doctor: Yes, and there are very few of us left!

David: This is my planet, Susan! I can't just run away and see what it's like on Venus!

Jenny: [laughing after she and Barbara drive straight over a group of Daleks] We went straight through them! Straight through them!!!
Barbara: Yeah, wasn't bad, was it? I rather enjoyed that!

The Doctor: [To Susan] You're my granddaughter, and always will be... but now you're a woman, too.

And later in the same scene:

One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. And until then, there will be regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. Goodbye, Susan. Goodbye, my dear.


The Rescue

Written By David Whitaker

Barbara: [implying that the TARDIS has stopped] Doctor, the trembling's stopped.
The Doctor: [grasping Barbara's hands] Oh, my dear, I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better.
Barbara: Not me! The ship!


The Romans

Written By Dennis Spooner

Ian: [catching Barbara gazing at him] What? Is my 'slip' showing?
Barbara: [smiling] No. I was just thinking what a splendid Roman warrior you make.

Vicki: Oh, and I forgot to tell you, I think I poisoned Nero today.

Barbara: Instead of sitting there making stupid jokes, why don't you start tidying up a bit? You can start by cleaning that up [motions to the fragments of the vase that broke when she accidentally hit him over the head instead of one of the Romans].
Ian: What?!
Barbara:[indignantly] Well, it's not my fault it's broken. I mean, I picked it up to help you, it's not my fault your head got in the way!
Ian: Ahem. WHAT??!!
Barbara: Oh, well, you see, um, in the struggle...
Ian: So it's YOUR fault I was thrown in a cell... and it's YOUR fault that I was made to work on the galley!! [Begins chasing a now screaming Barbara around the room] And I know exactly what you deserve! [catches her, puts his hands around her neck and makes to plunge her head into the fountain]
Barbara: All right, all right, Ian, Ian... I'll clean up.


The Web Planet

Written By Bill Strutton

Barbara: Oh, you studied medicine at school, then?
Vicki: Of course. Didn't you teach it?
Barbara: No... we worked upwards from the three R's. Reading, Writing and Arithmetic.
Vicki: Oh, it was a nursery school.
Barbara: [indignantly] It was not!
Vicki: I wish I went to your school. We had to get a certificate of education in physics, chemistry...
Barbara: Now, wait a minute, how old were you?
Vicki: Well, I was ten when I took those.
Barbara: TEN?!?!?! What did you do in your time, live in the classroom?

Barbara: How long did you study for?
Vicki: [as though it's the worst thing in the world] Almost an hour a week.

The Doctor: Well, my boy, we seem to have come out of that one unscathed.
Ian: Ye-es. Except for my old school tie.


The Space Museum

Written By Glyn Jones

Ian: [realising they are wearing their normal clothes and not the Crusades clothes] But Doctor, we've got our clothes on.
The Doctor: Well, I would most certainly hope so, dear boy.

Barbara: It's like a silence you can almost hear.

Ian: It's almost like a museum back at home.
Vicki: Except you don't have any of those little men following you around telling you not to touch anything.
The Doctor: Well, just you pretend there are, young lady and keep your hands to yourself.

The Doctor: All right, my boy, you lead the way.
Ian: Well, which way? Have you any particular fancy?
The Doctor: Well, the way we came in.
Ian: And which way was that?
The Doctor: You're memory is like a sieve, dear boy. We turned right and then left.
Vicki: No, no, we turned right when we came in.
Ian: No, we turned left when we came in.
Barbara: Actually, all these doors and corridors are exactly alike.
The Doctor: I beg to differ, but you must turn right before you can turn left.
Ian: Doctor, it depends which way you're facing before you start turning at all.
The Doctor: We were facing from there, down here, therefore -
Ian: Doctor, why don't you just admit it? You're as lost as the rest of us.

Barbara: [as Ian an Vicki try to tear her cardigan to make use of the Minotaur legend in their predicament] Well, you might ask. I mean, that's a good cardigan!
Ian: Oh, well, sorry .... uh, may we?
Barbara: Oh, well, um, I s'pose so.

Lebos: [examining the TARDIS from the outside] Strange looking craft. Must be very cramped and uncomfortable for four people inside at once.

Barbara: [as Ian advances towards and armed Morok] Don't, Ian, he'll shoot.
Ian: Well, wouldn't that change the shape of things to come?
Barbara: Well, it would for you, you'd be dead.

Machine: What - is - your - name?
Vicki: Vicki!
Machine: For - what - purpose - are - the - arms - needed?
Vicki: Revolution!!!


The Chase

Written By Terry Nation

Ian: Vicki, I had no idea you knew about the Beatles!
Vicki: [horrorfied] Of course I know about them. I've been to their Memorial Theatre in Liverpool.
Barbara: Well, what do you think of them?
Vicki: Well, they're marvellous, but I didn't know they played classical music.

Barbara: [hearing a strange noise coming from the TARDIS] Doctor, what's that awful noise?
The Doctor: I beg your pardon, awful noise? That's no way to talk about my singing!!
Barbara: No Doctor, not that awful noise, the other one.
The Doctor: [to himself] Awful noise, indeed. I could charm the nightingales out of the trees.

Ian: Oh, and Barbara, may I borrow your cardigan?
Barbara:Oh, no, not again.

The Doctor: Where's your spirit of adventure, dear boy?
Ian: It died a very slow and painful death when those bats came out of the rafters.

Ian: We did it! It's December, 1965!
Barbara: 1965? But then, we're two years out!
Ian: What's two years among friends, eh? We're home!


The Time Meddler

Written By Dennis Spooner

Stephen: I've seen some space ships in my time, admittedly nothing like this but ... what does this do?
The Doctor: That is the dematerialisation control and that over yonder is the horizontal hold. Up there is the scanner, those are the doors, that is a chair with a panda on it ... sheer poetry my boy. Now please stop bothering me.

Vicki: What are we looking for, anyway?
Stephen: Well, I expect we'll know that when we find it, won't we?

Vicki: [reading the Monk's diary] "Deposited 200 pounds in a bank in 1968, nipped forward 200 years and collected a fortune in compound interest."

Stephen: I think I could get to like being a crew member on a Time Machine.
Vicki: If you're lucky! He's the crew, we're just the passengers!



Season 3

Doctor No. 1


The Ark

Written By Paul Erickson & Lesley Scott

Dodo: You're not going to send me home, are you?
The Doctor: Home? [more to himself] I couldn't send you home even if I wanted to.


The Gunfighters

Written By Donald Cotton

Stephen: I've always wanted to be a cowboy and see what it was like in the Wild West!
Dodo: They had cowgirls too, didn't they?
The Doctor: [impatiently] Yes, yes.
Dodo: Woo!
The Doctor: But what about my tooth?

Stephen: Miss Dupont, can you play [the piano] ???
Dodo: Oh, I can bang a bit.

Stephen: [when Dodo picks a song to play] Let's hope the piano knows it...

I'm afraid I never touch alcohol, but a glass of milk, perhaps, and I think we can clear things up, eh?

Doc Holliday: [returning after shooting a man and taking his drinks] Sorry, ladies, I just run into a friend of mine and he sorta .... lost his appetite.


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