Dear Father,
Greetings to respectful parents. I am hoping all is well with health and wealth.
I am fine at my end. Hoping your end is fine too. With God’s grace and parents’
blessings I am arriving safely in America and finding good apartment for me and
HER, my pyari si wife. Kindly assure mother that I am strictly consuming halal
food only in restaurants though I am not knowing if cooks are Muslims. I hope
parents’ prayers are residing with me.
My one and only Father, I am having so many things to tell you that I am not
knowing where to start. Most surprising thing about America is it is full of
Americans. Everywhere Americans and Americans, big and white, it is little
frightening. The flight from Karachi to San Francisco is arriving safely thanks to
God’s grace and Parents’ prayers and mine too. I am not able to go to bathroom
whole time because I am sitting in corner seat as per revered grandmother’s
wish.
Father, in next two seats are sitting two old gentle ladies and if I am
getting up then they are put in lot of botheration so I am not getting up for
except when plane is stopping for one hour in London. Many foods are being
served in carts but I am only eating cashew nuts and bread because I am not
knowing what is halal and what is haram. I am having a good time drinking 37
glasses of Coca-Cola.
They are rolling down a screen and showing a film but I am not listening because
air hostess ladies are selling head phones for 2 dollars which is Rs.60 and in
our beloved karachi we can sit in balcony seats in local cinema for only Rs.3.
I am asking lady if they are giving student discount but she is too busy. I am
also asking her for more Coca-Cola but she is looking like she is weeping and
walking away. I think perhaps she is not understanding proper English.
Then I am sleeping long time after London and when I am waking it is like we are
flying over sea of lights. Everywhere, father, as far as I am seeing there are
lights lights. It is like God has made carpet of lights. Then we are landing in
San Francisco and plane is going right upto door so that we are not having to
walk in cold. I must say Americans are very advanced. And as I am leaving
aeroplane, air hostess is giving me one more can of Coca-Cola. Her two friends
are also with her, but why they are laughing so much I do not know. I think
these Americans are strange but friendly people in their hearts. I hope she was
not laughing for racial. Perhaps she was feeling shy earlier.
Then I am going to long bathroom. As I am leaving I am making first friend in
America. This is Negro gentleman named Joe who is standing at door and as I am
opening it he is holding out hand so I am shaking it and telling him my name and
he is tellng me his. I am telling him if he is ever coming to Karachi he can ask
for Soldier Bazar. If I have not returned and a negro gentleman
named Joe is visiting Karachi kindly do needful.
In this way I feel each and every one of us is serving as Ambassador of our
beloved Motherland. Joe is doubtful I feel because he says “Far out, man, far
out”, but I am reassuring him that Pakistan is only 16 hours away by plane and that
is not very far. I think he is accepting this because he is not saying anything
any more.
Next I go to place marked “Baggage” as Father has advised and suddenly place I
am sitting starts to move throwing me. It is like python we once saw in forest,
only rattling and with luggage bouncing on its back and sometimes leaping to
attack passengers. I am also throwing myself on bag before it is escaping. I
think if I am not wrestling it down it would revert to plane and back home to
Pakistan. I am only joking of course. Before this I am meeting very friendly
gentleman at Immigration desk. I do not know why all relatives had warned
against this man, because he is so friendly. He is talking English strangely but
is having kind heart because he is asking me about nuts and I am saying that I
am liking very much and eating many on plane. “Totally, totally nuts,” he is
saying, which I feel American expression for someone fond of cashew nuts. Before
this he is showing friendliness by asking “How is it going?” I am telling his
fully and frankly about all problems and hopes, even though you may feel that as
American he may be too selfish to bother about decline in price of hair oil in
Karachi. But, brother, he is listening very quietely with eyes on me for ten
minutes and then we are having friendly talk about nuts and he is wanting me to
go.
At Customs, brother, I am getting big shock. One fat man is grunting at me and
looking cleverly from small eyes. “First visit?” he is asking, “Yes,” I am
agreeing “Move on,” he is saying making chalk marks on bags. As I am picking up
bags he is looking directly at me and saying “Watch your ass.” Now, brother,
this is wonderful. How he is knowing we are purchasing donkey? I think they are
knowing everything about everybody who is coming to America.
They are not allowing anybody without knowing his family and financial status
and other things. And we are only buying donkey two days before my departure. I
think they are keeping all information in computers. Really these Americans are
too advanced.
But, brother, now I am worrying. Supposing this is CIA keeping watch or else how
they can know about our donkey? Anyway please do not tell Mother or she is
worrying, but lock all doors and windows. If CIA wants to recruit me to be spy
in Karachi, I will gladly take poison before betraying our Motherland. Then I am
going out and everyone is waiting and receiving me warmly. I will write soon
after settling down.
Your son,
Furqan s/o Yousuf
P.S. Please assure most beloved mother that I have written my name in full on my
shirts and underwear so that they will not be going missing.